Question

I would keep the clothes they come in if you don’t have time to wash them. Then send those clothes back the next time.

I have a blended family of seven. So it’s me and my partner. But my partner has three boys from his previous relationship, aged two, one, and three months. I have a two year old from my previous marriage. And we have one on the way.
At the beginning of our relationship, I spent a lot of my own money on the boys because my partner had been the only working parent in his previous relationship. And his baby mama had been a stay at home mom. But she had spent a lot of the money on stuff not having to do with the kids. So when me and my partner got together and I started coming over, I saw the boys didn’t have a lot of clothes and stuff. So when we’d go shopping, I’d be like oh this is cute, oh this is cute, and I’d buy them what I wanted them to have.
Eventually after enough exchanges with the baby mama, she began keeping the stuff that I had bought for the boys and not sending it back. I was extremely upset as I had bought the stuff for the boys at my partner’s house….

You could just tell her to send back what they wear Sunday’s as you guys bought it. She shouldn’t have a problem with doing the same as you do with fridays clothes. It doesnt have to be washed either. But then again some BMs are quite good at using anything you say to start arguing. Id do it all over text to keep any proof of anything said. Just in case. Or if the babies are old enough to pack a pair of pjs thatd be great so they can go in their comfy clothes back home.

No he’s not in the wrong. Cause my husband does the same for his daughter. He just ask her mother to pack clothes for the time she’s staying with us.

Part 2:
I didnt buy the stuff so that his partner could continue to be a dead beat. So we’re now at the point where when we do exchanges, we send enough stuff for one or two days. But it’s stuff that we’re ok not getting back. And we’ve told her that if she wants us to send more stuff then we want all of the stuff that I bought with my money back. She has yet to give it back. And we have no idea what happened to any of the nice stuff I bought for the boys.

If BM is upset then she is being petty. She still has a set of clothes. Just not the set she purchased. It is a pet peeve of mine that people fight over their kids clothes and who purchased it. The clothes are for the child and they can do what they want with them. Not saying you are fighting over the clothes it is just a general statement about posts I see on here.

She’s going to have an issue either way. My husband’s ex would send clothes, but if he didn’t wash them that was also a problem. I started staying behind while they were out doing things to make sure they were washed and there was still a problem with that because I was the one washing them 🫠. At the end of the day we used our own clothes and sent him home in either what he came in, or a pair of pajamas.

It’s probably not worth the fight. Or the ear full. We have decided to keep a wardrobe here for step daughter because mom won’t send clothes and if she does, they’re always a size too small. I keep everything that’s too small And toss it or donate it. Including underwear. She does not seem to care whether her daughter wears clothes that fit her or not. We do send her back with clothes that fit. But we do not pack a bag either. I just switch the clothes out when I find it’s necessary. She’s size 6. Mom continuously sends her 5 that squeeze her a little tight. I have finally replaced enough clothing that we get the clothing we bought back occasionally. And we will start over again when she reaches the next size.

We return my stepson in the clothes he comes in, and we dress him in our clothes while he's at our house. Because we potty-trained this year, we've had to send him in our clothes, and we never know when they'll be returned, so we use specific pairs of pants we don't mind being absent from our house (and they're labeled with our last name). But otherwise, he returns to his mother's house in the same clothes he comes in, and it makes our lives a lot less stressful.

My kids father never seems any clothes for my two at all, but yet his mother demanded all the clothes that were at my house be sent over there because they supposedly didn’t has clothes so I did, so now I’m in the same boat.

I would just buy some clothes to have at your house and when you know they are coming save some clothes that need to be washed and washed their clothes and send them back in what they wore over there. I know it’s sounds like a lot but there is really nothing else you can do, you can ask for clothes all day long but that does not mean you will get them trust me