Pregnant with cosleeping toddler…
I’m totally panicking here. Someone send help or reassurance or something I beg. I originally posted this in a non-cosleeping space so it might come across I’m justifying my actions - I know I don’t need to do that here, I just don’t want to re-write completely. Please please don’t read and run.
As a newborn my baby wouldn’t sleep without touch. I did three months on 10 minute sleeps in the cot day and night, with hours of trying to settle. I thought that was detrimental to her development because she was not getting anywhere near enough sleep so decided to cosleep. It’s been a real joy for 19 months- she’s wonderfully confident and can play independently, in the day she’s so independent and naps on her own. It was completely right for her needs and I stand by my decision 100%. I really love cosleeping.
I’m now pregnant and at night she is still a little barnacle with a strong mummy preference, if dad tries puts her to sleep she howls and screams until her throat is sore. She won’t sleep at night unless it’s with me (again, pretty much since birth). I mean, if I get up for a wee she cries and shouts mummy until I come back.
It’s only me who will be able to try to get her into her own bed because if dad does it she will scream for literally hours. I want you to know I’m not exaggerating. Literally she won’t cave. We have really tried to work on dad doing bedtime but literally since birth she’s been like it. No amount of soothing works unless she was being held.
So now I’m shitting myself!
How the hell am I going to get her into her own room? Do I need to?
Will she be ok to cosleep during the newborn stage with all the cluster feeding? What if I need a C-Section? What if second baby is the same? How can I manage this?
I am not willing to cio at all or any sleep training method, it just doesn’t feel right for me at all.
Dad is trying his hardest but she just won’t have it. She loves playing with him and will nap if he puts her down and I’m not there in the day but the times Ive been home after bedtime she’s just screamed and fought every time. If I wait downstairs, go out, say no, it’s the same. It feels like crying it out when I try to let dad do it. I don’t know how to do this!
Everything was so serene and I am / was so excited and feeling confident about introducing our little boy… but I’m now scared it’s going to ruin my daughters life (dramatic I know but I’m hormonal lol)
I’m freaking out. What if I can’t do it? What if it makes me a shit mum because I bit off more than I can chew?
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how far along are you?? i’m in the EXACT same boat girl. i’m 6 months pregnant and my 21 month old is the exact same down to every word you said. it’s exhausting. we recently night weaned and it made his sleep even worse, now instead of nursing to sleep i have to rock him upright in bed (the round ligament pain doing this sucks) and lay him down in my arms on our side and he’s kneeing and kicking my belly all night and up every 2 hours. i have no idea how i would bedshare with a newborn when he’s like this now 😭 i’ve just been praying my new baby would be an easy sleeper and maybe have her in a bassinet on the floor next to the bed so she’s safe.. but he’s such a light sleeper that he would definitely wake up every diaper change and feed i have to do for the new baby. my husband gets 6 weeks off work for the new baby so we’re hoping if it comes down to it if nothing changes in the next 3-4 months then he will sleep with him no matter how hard it is and i will sleep w new baby
Dont worry about the what ifs. Deal with it as it comes up.
Im 37 weeks. My 15 month old sleeps in her toddler bed next to my bed and the newborn will sleep on my side in a next to me. We will see how that arrangement works but you totally can co sleep with both of them. Do what feels right in the moment but cosleeping will save your sanity. A short interruption is WAY better than another room.
My toddler who is 2 now was night nursing with me for a long time even while I was pregnant and 6 months after our baby’s birth (baby is 10 months now). I finally had to go downstairs and sleep there and the first week or so was really rough because he wanted me but dad eventually got him to calm down and now he sleeps basically through night. I hope this brings you some encouragement because i think sometimes we have to let little ones work through their emotions in a gentle way but still support them. But we as mothers also need to set boundaries for ourselves so we can get enough rest. You WILL figure this out, promise 🥰
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