PP/Newborn trenches

I breastfed so had to do the night feeds but for the first few weeks the baby would contact sleep on my husband from around 8 when I would go to sleep and he would then bring him upstairs when he woke. He could do a good 6-7 hour stretch so I had a nice chunk of sleep.
We didn't do night nappy changes unless he'd done a poo which was very rarely.
One thing we do is forget anything that is said to each other in the middle of the night. You're not yourselves at 3 in the morning when you're trying to get a screaming baby back to sleep.

My husband is grumpy and useless in the middle of the night (we quickly discovered) and it took him forever to get his head woken up to do nappy changes or whatever so we quickly switched to a system which worked better for us! He would look after baby in the evening til midnight, I would go to bed early and dad would just bring him (baby) to me for feeds (as I EBF) and then take him away to change/settle him. From midnight til 6am it was all me, at 6am daddy would bring me a cup of tea in bed and take baby til he (dad) went to work. Sometimes, if I was really tired, dad would do a full night at a weekend and just bring baby to me to feed. We had to alter this routine with baby number 2 as dad would sort the toddler out in the morning. So I still had my cup of tea in bed but would keep baby next to me, usually. I think you just have to think flexibly and work out what works best for you all. No sense in both parents being up all the time!

This is exactly the type of answers I was looking for! Thank you!!!

It really looks different for every family — especially if one parent goes back to work quickly. You’ll find your own rhythm, but communication is huge. Talking openly about expectations (who handles what and when) can prevent a lot of resentment later. If you’re breastfeeding, it can be tough for your partner to help overnight unless you decide to pump and share a bottle from an earlier session.

You mentioned your husband struggles with stress when he’s tired — that’s super common. I’m a Pediatric Sleep Consultant, and I teach virtual newborn sleep workshops for parents in this stage. We cover what to expect with feeding and sleep, how to read tired cues, soothe your baby, and build healthy sleep foundations from day one. It really helps both parents feel more confident and less overwhelmed 💛 If you’d like the details, just message me!

Love this this post! First off- you got this mama and so happy to hear you have a partner by your side. Second- be gentle with yourself and your partner, newborn trenches is touch and unpredictable and there’s no two nights the same. Be specific with your partner and the kind of support you need so you don’t get frustrated and disappointed.

Third - a routine that worked for me for

SLEEP/MIDNIGHT FEEDS - setting an alarm, diaper change before bottle, then swaddle, then hand off to feed while i sleep or I just transition into feeding. When I need more sleep - I work with my partner in shifts. 1st shift (he does first feeding) and I do second shift an so fourth.

MORNING - diaper change, feed baby, rock baby to sleep while partner makes us breakfast. Eat, then shower and stay in bed a little longer. By mid morning feeding - I have already eaten, gained my strength, and showered and so I start my day after mid morning feeding depending on the day.