My partner is very low effort father. What can I do meanwhile so that he doesn’t neglect her?

He will let her watch tv and iPad for long hours, he won’t brush her teeth or make her actual food. It would be like snacks or chicken nuggets all the time. If he has to shower her he will run the water and no soap. He won’t put in the work or effort he will just be there and do bare minimum. I know I’m separating from him for sure but in the meantime what can I do so he doesn’t neglect our child. I feel like I cannot even have a day to myself bc she will just be on the iPad all day. He is like a depressed person, and no he doesn’t have depression he’s just lazy and irresponsible he spends all day laying down and watching tv.
I have like a year left with him bc of this lease and to get myself ready to leave.

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I don't think you can do anything. If he's already lousy he isn't going to change. You could tell him what to do but surely a grown man should know you use soap in the shower.
If you know you're leaving him, I would probably just take over and solo parent already. Is there anyone else who could give you a break?

You can try to lay out more explicit directions for him to follow… have meal plans ready, and order of operations for bath time … soap in the shower ready to go. Give friendly reminders… if he’s really depressed it might be worth checking in with him about how he’s doing…

“ hey are you ok? I noticed you haven’t been acting like yourself lately, you’re not spending quality time with our daughter or me? I’m worried about you. Is there anything I can do to help you help yourself? Have you considered therapy?”

These are just examples of check-ins … but sometimes when someone is struggling leaning in instead of pulling away can make all the difference. I don’t know you or your situation , but it might be worth a shot to check in with him human to human. Becoming a parent can be very overwhelming, not just for us as new mamas , but also for new Dads too.

It sounds like you’re leaving because he has no interest in changing for you or your child. With that in mind, I would probably conserve your effort and emotions on trying to get him to change as, if he would, you wouldn’t be leaving.

You need to start telling him he acts like a pig and you will leave him. Lazy ppl typically don’t feel motivated with normal conversations, you have to put them on their toes

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Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

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