My mum makes plans for me without consulting me
For context I live over 2.5 hours away from my family , I have an 8 week old baby and neither my partner or I drive.
Ever since I moved into my new house ( only 20 minutes away from where I previously lived) my mum keeps inviting herself around with various other family members and just assumes that I'm free because I'm on maternity leave. She is coming over with my sister and her children next week as it is half term and they want to meet the baby ( my mum met her just after she was born). Now she has arranged the whole days without consulting me and it really doesn't work for my routine with my LO. For example, my mum has ordered an outfit for my niece to be delivered to mine so we have to wait in for that on the Tuesday. My partner usually works from home but won't be able to if the kids are here as they're unlikely to stay quiet enough for him to work. So ,he'll have to work from the office that day meaning he won't be around as much as he'll have to commute.
I don't want to cause another argument with my mum though as she is already upset that I can't guarantee we'll be able to go to the family gathering over Christmas. My partner and I said that we would go to my parents' for Christmas this year as they were excited to host baby's first Christmas but we will probably have to travel back home before the family gathering on 27th December as my partner will probably be due back in work by then.
Am I right to be annoyed that my mum is basically dictating my life? How do I stop this without causing upset as I know she means well but really needs to learn to include me in these decisions instead of just telling me what's happening.
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Tbh I don’t think u can stop it without causing an argument as I feel like she’s just doing what she wants without considering you and your family. I had a similar issue with my inlaws and we just had to ask them to tell us their plans at least 2 days advance so we can let them know if we are available for them or not and that if we said no then it wasn’t up for discussion or not to bother trying to convince us.
You can say this to her and hopefully she’ll be understanding and it won’t cause an argument but all you can do is hope in this situation 😂.
I think parents sometimes just have a hard time understanding that their children now have their own families and separate lives and still expect us to mould our lives around their wants and needs so we just have to help them understand that now you have more priorities and she has to respect that. Good luck !
I can't believe you both don't drive. This is probably your time to start getting lessons! You need to start going to baby classes. We were going to eight a week from six weeks old. I was always out and about, here, there any everywhere. They're very important for babies development. Plus all the free Rhymetimes and story sessions etc at the local libraries. We go to a few libraries, as they have theirs on different days of the week. Then there's the friends you'll make at the classes, and the going for coffees after class etc. Your mum won't be able to dictate your life once you start the baby classes 👍
Just tell her what you said in the last part. You know she means well but she needs to include you or even ask you instead of telling you what’s happening.
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