Am I the asshole?

So i just yelled at my husband's grandpa over the phone because brought up my weight when all we were doing was asking of we were meeting him at a restaurant. For reference I weigh 230lbs and before I got pregnant I was 145lbs im not happy with my weight but I'm trying to lose it and now I'm in my husband's and I's bedroom crying because why does he always have to bring up my weight when we have talked to him about it being an issue for me it's been an issue since the 5th grade. I have always been bullied about my weight and in turn have had an eating disorder because of it and now I have a 10 month old and I am exclusively breastfeeding so the breastfeeding hunger is real but I have 2 solid meals that are protein based and he always comments about "how much I'm eating" im over it I'm sick and fucking tired of it. I moved states away from my family to be with my husband so he can have a good job and I'm seriously considering moving back with my family because of my husband's grandpa's words it sickening and I'm so grossed out by it. We also live in his grandpa's house so that doesn't really help, we are trying to find a different place to live but if we can't soon then I'm really thinking of moving back to be with my family I'm tired of being fat shamed about my weight when I literally just have a baby 10 months ago and not every woman after having a kid bounces back to their old weight and I'm one of them but I'm trying hard to lose the weight it's just not working out for me

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Ofcourse you’re not an asshole. Your husband needs to have a serious word with his grandpa and tell him to stop with the comments about your weight. Just because you live under his roof doesn’t mean he gets to disrespect you. Sending hugs

A similar thing happened to me, a family member of my husbands would always comment when or how much I eat. One thanksgiving (we ate early in the day and so husband and I were getting a snack later in the evening) and he said, “You’re eating AGAIN?!”
I totally shut down and lost my appetite and we didn’t speak for a while after that. i am not overweight, but they stull have NO business shaming or making comments on weight or how much we eat. He needs to worry about HIMSELF. I am always self conscious about when I eat around them now. i’m sorry you are dealing with that!! Makes me so angry! What did you tell the grandpa?

You are not the asshole. Your weight is no one else’s business!

Hi Chloe, I feel you girl! You’re not an asshole and you’re still very much hormonal having a baby 10 months ago AND breastfeeding. I can’t seem to lose mix weight either and I’m exclusively breastfeeding as well. I heard about a theory called the famine gene hormone which basically says someone in our family experienced famine long ago so we hold onto weight to make sure the baby can feed even if we hadn’t eaten they will be good lol. We will naturally lose weight after the breastfeeding journey is done. I know you mentioned using an eating disorder so I just want to let you know even if you tried to not eat, you won’t lose much weight- I kinda tested that theory when I was sick and just a little bit came off. What I did notice for me personally is I don’t look as bloated when I don’t have a bunch of beans or gluten. When I have those- I legit look pregnant and people ask me when I’m due 🤦🏽‍♀️. I have diastasis recti so my abs separated after giving birth. Anyway I say all that to say…

You’re not alone sister and now is the time to enjoy nourishing your little one. Fuck what anyone else has to say because your body is doing a great thing. After you’re breastfeeding journey you can go at your own pace to lose the weight and it will be much easier. That’s what happened with my first postpartum experience so I’m taking it much better this second time around and I remind myself that people are ignoring and used to seeing me at a certain size. Much love to you

Sorry it’s the Middle of the night and I realized I just totally included you in the same boat as me and you may totally have something else going on in your biology. Was just trying to share because so many women feel terrible about not being able to lose weight after (including me the first time around) and I’m just offering another explanation to help you not worry about and remind you that you’re not eating too much. It’s just what it is right now

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.