Am I paranoid?

I wouldn't jump straight to spiteful. Your neice sounds lonely and like she needs someone to give her more individual attention. Yes, she's acting up to get and hold your attention, but it's not too be mean, it's too be *seen*. Build up your relationship with her and you will see better results.

No one should be trusting a 10 year old to be alone with a toddler. The mistakes she's making are totally normal for her age.

She’s 10? And it’s not her baby lol medication where a baby can get it is not her fault and a 10 year old putting a baby down is not realistic. Coming from someone with a 10 year old and 1.5 year old and pregnant.

She’s ten lol. She’s probably thinking if she tries to help or be around baby she’ll get more attention and praise, then realizes quickly she doesn’t want to deal with a baby… which is very normal and not a calculated manipulative tactic.

The medication/purse thing. I’d be mad at your mom. She was the acting adult responsible for the well being of the kids at that time.

I have an 8 year old nephew who gets to “babysit” my baby if I step out for a bit. He’s always with an adult and guess what … he’s gets bored and either naps off or watches his tablet. He will do something naughty and say the baby did it…. He’s just being a kid.
He gets a bit jelous because he isn’t the youngest but he loves her so much too.

Don’t take too seriously what she’s doing. Unless it becomes dangerous, she’s just being a kid.

Wait, so you’re saying your niece managed to climb up and get your bag off the shelf, rifle through it, found your medication bottle, opened it and gave the drugs to your baby to play with?? 😳

What did your mum say when you told her?

What was your niece’s excuse as to how the drugs got out of the bottle and baby was playing with them?

What did your sister have to say about it when you told her what her child had done?

It does sound like things are escalating for sure and both your mum and sister are being far too slack and complacent with disciplining your niece! Quite clearly she was the culprit and thank god your baby didn’t ingest anything! Why do they give her special treatment? It appears to be turning her into an entitled spiteful brat.

If you want to keep the peace, don’t leave your baby around your niece alone ever again. Even if your mum or sister is there with her, they can’t be trusted to look out for your baby too given their lackadaisical attitudes so I would be wary of them all sad to say.

Don’t forget that parents/grandparents want to believe that children are innocent and it was just a mistake, hence they will make excuses for any bad behaviour.

But you can’t deny there’s no way a baby could unzip a bag, take a child proof bottle out, open it and play with the contents. However your 10yo niece knows better. She knew that babies and drugs don’t mix. She purposely gave your baby drugs to play with. If your baby had swallowed one, you could be sitting here writing an obituary right now.

Let’s not forget 10yo can be tried as adults in serious cases and even at that young age can be sociopaths and evil demons. Case in point, Jamie Bulger (Google his 2 killers who were 10).

It is a serious matter and yes would be a valid crash out imo.

Y’all are some liars in this thread. Y’all act like you’ve never left the baby alone for a second in their life. Or let a family member watch them for a minute. Or let another child sit with them. Y’all are some LIARS!

I would recommend looking into Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Not every child who starts exhibiting these behaviors becomes a sociopath, but I definitely think she could use intervention now. Professional support like therapy could be helpful.
At home, intervention could look like really honing in on loving discipline. Never give in to her behavior about not getting what she wants. You choose time to spend some one on one time with her.
While her behavior is frustrating and scary, it isn't her fault. It is the responsibility of the adults in her life to intervene. I'm glad your baby didn't get hurt and now you know she can not be trusted around your baby and needs to be watched.
Lastly, remember that when we post on here, everyone has a right to share their opinion. If a mom thinks your choice was irresponsible, that is her opinion. She has a right to it. I don't think anyone here should tip toe around anyone's feelings.

I have also posted on here in the past and been told about myself. I read it, put my phone down, processed it, and decided what my own perspective on the situation was while appreciating other moms' inputs. Did it hurt my ego a bit? Yes. Were moms trying to hurt me? No, I highly doubt it. I wouldn't argue with anyone about how their comment made you feel.

If you really want to try to figure out why the responses on those posts differ from yours, I would say the nature of the post itself. Those are very different posts. And one woman said she'd pick up and leave the husband. That was her opinion. The other woman expressed great remorse. Your post mentions your niece's troubling behavior, but you don't mention feeling guilty about leaving your baby with your niece. I'm not saying that you have to, but women on here tend to respond with compassion when a poster expresses guilt or remorse or genuine curiosity. You started off your post saying that your niece is spiteful and moms here tend to be harsher on posts that speak negatively of a child. I get it, though, because my son displayed some nasty behavior for a little while, too, after our family went through something. It went on 7-9 years old and he is 10 now. He is doing much better with interventions I mentioned above. I really think your niece just needs firm and consistent structure and discipline.

But I really wouldn't take it personally. I don't think it is worth stressing over. Focus on your baby and niece and trust your own intuition when it comes to how to react. Good luck to your family. I really hope she gets the intervention she needs. 🙏🏻

Ll