My mom has told my brother & sister in law I’m pregnant…I told her not to 🫩

So I’m 8 weeks pregnant, I’ve had 2 miscarriages before this one. I told my mum about 2 weeks ago because I needed her to know if I need her to babysit my son…there’s good reason I’m asking, you know?

Anyway, my sister in law struggles to get pregnant, she always has, it was a miracle she had her daughter, and I love them all to bits. That’s why I told my mum to not tell them until I have had at-least 1 scan. For my mental health and everyone else’s. She did this with my miscarriages as well, she told everyone then had to tell them all I lost it. Absolutely horrifying. Thought I would have learned my mistake.

The only people who knew was me, my partner, my mum & then she told my dad, I told her not to tell anyone else…and last night she phoned me and said “I slipped up” like what?!?! The rage I felt and feel right now is horrendous.

Not to be a b*tch but…how can I get her back? Like this might sound childish but this isn’t the first time she’s done this nor something like this, and it hurts. I want to make her feel how I feel just once so she can get an idea of wtf she’s doing to me.

Here’s what I plan to do that I know will p*ss her off/somewhat hurt
Not telling her the gender or name
Not telling her the due date
Literally not telling her anything about the pregnancy etc.
anything else you recommend? 🥲🥲

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I would also be absolutely fuming as that is not her place to tell anyone until you and your partner are ready to tell people, especially as you have suffered 2 previous miscarriages which am so sorry you have gone through as they are horrendous and hopefully this pregnancy goes smoothly.

Me and my partner have decided not to tell anyone (apart from his mam) the babies gender, due date or the name as we can’t trust them not to tell anyone. I’ve already been bombarded by messages from people asking if baby had made an appearance.

You don’t have to tell her anything else about your pregnancy if she can’t respect the boundary of not telling people anything x

Personally I have a strained relationship with my mother and she wasn’t allowed in the delivery room no less allowed to come visit me and my daughter till I approved so. She didn’t see my daughter until I was 4.5 months PP, and she still till this day has not been allowed to watch her by herself or keep my daughter overnight a year later. I honestly don’t recommend doing this unless you absolutely feel like you need to set those boundaries because it will definitely hurt you’re mother.

Truthfully though, I feel like sitting her down and laying it out straight “you hurt me, you crossed a boundary I had set and not just once but multiple times, I don’t feel like I should have to treat you like a child, but until you can get yourself together, I’m withholding any information about the progress of my pregnancy from you, for my own sanity and self protection mentally as I cannot deal with the stress of you’re ignorance” I’m blunt you could switch that around lol.

Fucking tell everybody else and not tell her anything so she has to find out from other people but when she asked you, you just ignore her

I wouldn’t tell her anything.

That’s extremely unkind of your mum and I too would be hurt. But i wouldn’t “get her back” out of spite, it might feel good temporarily to match her energy but i believe you’d want to enter this new pregnancy with peace of mind and reassurance. You don’t have to tell anyone any news until you and your partner are ready simply because you need to protect you and baby from any stress and it sounds like your mum is adding to it. Anybody should be able to respect that. Praying you have a smooth pregnancy and healthy baby! Congratulations 🥰

Not childish of you. Childish of her to not be able to keep something so sensitive that she was told in confidence to herself, like she was asked to. “I slipped up” do you have no self control??! I’d be pissed. I would not tell her anything else. And I would be very frank about it if she’s asked me anything. Flat out, the best revenge would probably be telling her you’re not telling her anything if she asks you something because she can’t keep anything to herself

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opinions about how not necessary it is will not be appropriate for this post. Thank you in advance. 🩵

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