Freinds no more

So basically I’ve had a friend since we started secondary school. Now 24 so been just over 12 years now.
Had one prolonged time when we didn’t speak, I started uni, she was going throughout stuff.
Well anyway today she’s just said that I don’t think we should be friends no more. No explanation no nothing just I’ve been reflecting on things.

Like okay sure you’re allowed to reflect on things but seriously I just want an explanation. We would typically chat every day or every other day at that.
Just don’t know where it came from and it’s really upset me cos I have VERY limited friends as it is.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

So, I'm posting from the other side as I have been the 'dumpee' in this situation.

In my case I didn't tell her the reason why in the initial "I don't think we can be friends" message as if I had done so felt like she would have felt like an attack on her (as I did have some issues with her character) so instead I worded it as if we had grown apart - no point in listing all the things 'wrong' with her as it seems unnecessarily hurtful and better to walk away just thinking she isn't MY person but may be someone else's. However, in her reply she didn't ask...at all. She didn't ask if she'd done anything wrong, if there was anything we could do to improve things etc. so I didn't give her any answers. Had she have asked though I would have been honest.

All I can say is there may be loads of reasons. She may be having issues with herself, she may have issues with you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings (or both). It's a very hard thing to be honest about so unfortunately you can't force her to tell you.

Avatar

The only advice I would say is ask the question. If you've upset her and she doesn't tell you why/how then you can't fix it and that's not on you it's on her! Unfortunately for you it must be heartbreaking but at least you know you've asked.
I would probably end with saying something along the lines of you hope she's ok, as if there's something going on with her (nothing to do with you) then it may leave the door open for her to approach you and talk about it when ready as she may just be pushing you away as she's struggling to deal with her own stuff.

I hope that helps and I hope you get some closure x

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

I’ve loss it finally

Please help me good or bad advice I need it !!!
Quick rundown had my baby 3 months ago her dad was cheating on me all the way through pregnancy u til 2 months pp . I was depressed and sad along with pnd ! I allowed him to leave my house sleep about and come back I had no fight left in me I was broken emotionless didn’t want to be here . Fact forward to a few days after valentines day a male friend brought me flowers ex didn’t like it called me all the names ect but 4 days later begging me back I tried for our daughter but he’s put his hands on me twice in the month daily name calling body shaming
Then today we was out his friend rang him why we was in the car to say he has 2 girls for them to go link this was on loud speaker ! I lost my shit arguing we got home I seen red n went for him I then got the hammer & smashed his car windows . I know that was wrong but being goaded daily put down n body shamed made me hate him then I just seen red

Avatar

11

Favorite recipe rn?

I need more ideas for dinner, what yall cookin up in the kitchen these days ?

Avatar

1

26

Dads app!

I have been using this app for the last 6 months ish and found it brilliant for advice and making friends. My partner though doesn’t have any male friends who are dads and I was wondering if anybody knows of anything similar to this app that he could use to find some other dads local to us, to chat to/get advice/make friends etc. anyone any ideas? ☺️

Avatar

2

4

Vitamins

Little one is now 6 months old and the Health Visitor recommended that we start giving her some vitamins. Anyone got any recommendations of good brands/where to buy these? Thanks ☺️

Avatar

8

Why no active moms :(

Every mom that’s around me don’t reply to my messages :( I’m currently with a 2 yr old and prego but I guess ppl don’t like to hang out with prego ppl :(

Avatar

3

12

In need of friends

I truly need friends to talk, vent and chat with whether it be text call or FaceTime I feel so alone even though I have people around me and my partner isn’t really being a partner in this time

Avatar

2

9

Read more on Peanut