lusting over other women (need advice)

Is it regular porn type videos or is there more of a personal emotional connection? If it’s just porn I wouldn’t care tbh it’s just fantasy

Im also with Gemma here. If its just regular porn hes watching then thats men for ya they have fantasies and sometimes need a quick fix before work. However if the videos are sent from people he talks to then thats where things get more personal as thats basically cheating

I also am wondering if it’s porn or personal videos of women? it doesn’t make much of a difference if not watching any type of porn is your boundary and makes you uncomfortable + is a hard no then that’s something you should tell him asap! i think no matter what you should tell him it feels inappropriate for him to be watching it next to you or the baby.. and how it makes you feel self esteem wise.

ask him if he could open up to you about why he’s feeling the need to watch it as well if that’s something you wanna know.

regardless. you don’t HAVE to settle or “make anything work” just because you have a baby with him. you deserve to be happy and feel loved and seen/heard.

Is it just porn? Have you explicitly told him not to do this?
If your only two months PP maybe he just wants to sort himself out without nagging you as you'd obviously be tired with the baby .

I personally don't see an issue with my husband watching porn it's just fantasy I'm also 2 months PP but fortunately don't feel insecure in myself because my body made my baby and for me that's enough .

I think in general asking him not to self pleasure to things online is
Fine if your providing him with your own pictures/ videos / in person activities when he wants it but if your not then can you blame him?

I'f my husband told me I couldn't watch porn id want him to make videos for me to watch and to be up for sex whenever I wanted a wank .

People saying “just porn” or “that’s just men” is very dismissive. Not all men in relationships think it’s okay to lust over other women whether it’s porn or not. You don’t have to accept it “just because it’s porn”

it really depends on your stance on porn

personally i don’t care

some people do care and thats fine too

if you have explicitly asked him not to do this then he is in the wrong, if this conversation has never been had then you just need to talk about it and create that boundary

it’s also a good idea to try and think if it’s really just the porn that’s making you upset or whether it’s something more deep rooted because it sounds like maybe there is something a bit deeper going on than just him watching a bit of porn for you to be so upset

Just porn isn't just porn if he's watching it first thing in the morning sitting right next to his wife and child???!! That's most likely an addiction and needs correcting what the heck. What men are y'all seeing that this is normal behavior. We're not teenagers!

"Its just porn, its not a big deal"
It is to her, thats all that matters.

Okay the “just porn” comments are wildly insensitive. Porn is degrading to women, and shouldn’t be a regular thing for any man, especially when you have a whole women in the next room, and especially when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want porn in your relationship. It’s not real and it’s not a real standard of how women are, it may just be a fantasy but it’s an unrealistic one and it ruins and rots the mind of men everyday. Saying that porn isn’t cheating but it most definitely is when you’re lusting over another women while having a whole partner, let alone one who just had a baby. Lusting and wanting other women is cheating whether or not the man had had a conversation with the women or not. There’s loads of things like OF nowadays where you can talk to the women who post these kinds of videos too and even worse spend actual money on seeing them and their content. Porn is becoming a huge problem with men and it makes it worse that some women think it’s okay.

In my relationship lust isn’t allowed and he still did this to me found them when I got home with the baby from the hospital the vids weren’t even porn but they are sexual and explicit and that shows ur still interested the mind cant differentiate what’s fake and real when it comes to that stuff so when men look at that stuff they get hard so for me my man ain’t gonna be getting hard for no other woman naked or not and that’s why I had a problem but everyone has their own boundaries so the ones saying oh is it porn no it might not b but it still can affect someone like this or their relationship

If it’s porn and not direct sent from women, then considering he’s been doing it your whole relationship, it’s nothing to do with you personally he may just have an issue. I understand it’s not nice as i wouldn’t like it either however, if you want to make it work suggest therapy that could help his issues.

you can message me!