Expectations after c section

I have had 3 c sections and will have another one soon. Honestly first week is the hardest so you need more help. For your husband to go means you might not be getting that help. Does depend on you tho as some c section recovery is easier but still tough. And if you have other kids that need taking care of

It will be very difficult for you to get up without help or go to the bathroom alone.

I think it depends on you. I didn’t find recovering as tough as people had made out and ended up getting cabin fever more than anything, but saying that everyone is different. I don’t think it can be expected of you but if you feel up to it he probably just wants you there if it’s a big celebration. Don’t give a definite answer and see how you feel x

I'm going to go against the grain and say this is very situational. I was back to long walks and coffee shop meet ups with friends by a week post op. It's really individual how you heal.

Do. Not. Let. Him. Go. You need that support, recovery is different for everyone and your partner has a duty to care for you after major surgery and delivering his child x

No way. Tell him to stand up for you and himself.

I suspect it will resolve itself at the time. Either you will be in pain and need help to look after the baby and he’ll stay or you will feel surprisingly fine and maybe it’ll feel fine for him to go. I think a lot of feelings around birth and early on have to be felt before you know how you’ll react.

All depends how you feel really, I only found the first week hard and was up and out and about.

Depends on each situation but I was up and about on day 4 as normal

Depends on you and your healing. I was able to do stuff a week after mine but I still excepted the help as didnt want to slow my healing. Only thing i couldn't do was pick my other daughter up our of her cot. X

If you already have a child. Not a chance. With both my c sections I was in hospital for 5 days and first 2 weeks I needed so much help, he was only allowed an hour to go walk the dog. By week 4 I was feeling able to do stuff a bit more by myself (not leaving the house alone though) and allowed him to go to his brother’s 30th. However we said no originally and decided on the day when I knew how I was doing.

Problem is it’s hard to predict how you’ll be doing, you might be great, you might not. I’d say no but make a call on the day.

I wouldn’t have even had my week old baby around a bunch of germ ridden family members at ONE week old. Regardless of whether I felt up to it.

No. I’d absolutely not be going I wouldn’t see how I feel at the time, I’d just not be going.

Is it far away? If its close he may be able to go for a short time if you're feeling okay. It's very difficult to say. I had horrendous post partum anxiety and really suffered with physical recovery so I wouldn't have let my partner leave me (had a traumatic birth experience and emcs, please don't let this worry you!) But I know others who recovered really well. Can you let them know closer to the time? Or do something separate with the grandparents once you are feeling up to it?

First week is very hard! I was a mess, I started to feel slightly better and able to move and lay a bit better around day 10 to the two week mark, I’m 3 weeks post c section on Wednesday and still not 100% but significantly better than the first week.

Like others have said, everyone finds recovery different. I found my recovery after my C-section in June incredibly easy. I didn't need help from my husband getting up, or in and out the shower or anything. I was completely off pain meds by day 8, back driving my eldest to and from school one day 10 ect. You honestly can't predict how you will feel

Are you also invited? As this impacts the decision for me...

But saying that Either way for me it would be a play it by ear as to whether he / you as a family could be there

As it'll be totally Dependent on your recovery, baby and how you are both adapting to life with a new baby

With my first which ended as an emergency section I was nowhere near ready for my hubby to be away for long periods after a week.

With my second I'm two / nearly three weeks in and I'm recovering much better I feel *touching wood*

So I think it's situation and feelings dependent tbh until the day of the event. Ever day is different xxx

Everyone’s body is different I could do everything the next day just depends on how u feel

Personally it depends, is this your first C-section? Second? I think you’d be okay for a couple of hours. If it’s your first you might still need a lot of support afterwards. If it’s your second you’ll likely be okay(ish). But if you’re asking, you obviously don’t feel comfortable with it. So that the most important part.

I went to my nans birthday party the week after giving birth but that was my decision to go. I basically sat the entire time except for a few photos

You won't really know how you feel until baby is here and you can see how you are feeling post c-section

You might feel up for going and having a meal or your partner going alone as long as you can go home/partner can go back home if needed

I went to my grandads funeral and wake day 2 after having my little girl. 100% my choice and I decided on the day. My husband stayed home with our baby. I sat most of the time and had my mum with me who helped me wander to the loo when needed. I was very tired when I got back home but felt OK while there.

I think the main thing is you are listened to and you are the priority. If you do not feel up for it or you do not feel comfortable with your partner going once you have had your baby this should be accepted no questions asked

You should tell her politely, but firmly, to GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED.

It really depends on you the family and how your healing. If you’re happy for him to go for a few hours or you go together for a short time. Or what type family he has if they support you only you can answer this

I went to a family party 8 days after my 2nd c-section, I was fine, I made the decision to go and decided that day

Unreasonable that you’re expected to go though

I think as long as it isn’t too far away and you feel ok about it, I’d say no overnights out of choice but my husband is military so I’m used to immediate separation after birth. Baby will be there forever with you now but grandparents birthdays may be counted x

A week after is fine . By then you'll be getting the hang of things . I've had 3 of them and by the time you are home for a couple days to get use to it it just flows. That's his grandparents don't let him miss that because yes you just had a baby a week ago , he'll be gone a few hours. Do you have anyone that can come spend the day with you?

I'm saying it's unreasonable just because you're having a c section so it's not about anyone's expectations it's about how you feel and how your recovery's going, just politely talk to your husband about it he should understand and he can decide on the day

I mean everyone is different. I had an emergency c section on a Tuesday and then went to my parents for dinner that Sunday and I was fine the worst part about it was going up the stairs I just had to go slow it wasn't too bad. As long as you're able to sit comfortably you should be okay but it's your body so your call based on how you're feeling.

I don’t see the issue with him going for a few hours if you stay behind. He is not your child that he must request permission to leave to see his grandparents for their birthday. We are all adults and allowed time to do other things without our partners being attached to the hip on us.

Forget the c section, I would've not coped being left on my own with my baby after only a week! He was 2 months old the first time one of us went out for a dinner

I never had a c section but after my birth I thought I felt fine after 5 days, went out and about, and then suddenly I was very unwell. I think 1 week is too soon to leave you alone, unless someone can come and stay with you?

Why can’t he go? He can also take baby, that gives you rest as well

It depends but I was out at Costco and the pub for lunch on days 4/5 pp.

After my second section I was home alone with a newborn and a 2.5yo for 10 hours a day after day 5.

Personally I wouldn’t be bothered at all by this and didn’t need support either time.

It depends, how long is he gone for? How close is he to his grandparents? Do you have a town else who can support you? How far away is it? Can he get back quickly if needed?
Most importantly what do you and your partner want?
You will probably need support post section but if he’s gone 1/2 hours I would feel differently than 5/6 hours plus. Also if it takes him 10 minutes to get back vs 1 hour if you do need him.
Also post partum hormones will be raging, you may feel okay now to be left but may not when it comes to it. I would have been fine physically but not emotionally at that point to be alone with baby, but I was in hospital nearly a week.

Depends how you’re feeling. I couldn’t sit up in bed unaided for a while, or bend down to put the baby in the bouncer etc. can you wait and see?

Asking is fine, expecting a yes and being grumpy if it’s no is not

The expectation is unreasonable but the reality is you could be fine by that point. I was feeling so much better after a week but only you can judge that - no one else

Again everyone is different but I also felt fine after the first week my partner went out for a day when I was 3 days granted my mum popped in but I was doing things it’s about looking at what’s realistic to do I was set up prior to him to leaving and just needed to get up for bottles and my snacks 🤷🏼‍♀️ I also attended my grandads funeral sadly just over a week PP I don’t see the issue

I mean I was fine a week after both my emergency c-sections. My husband had to go back to work. Life doesn't stop. I was also up and walking around walmart the day I got out of the hospital with my first and with my second he was born 10 days before my daughters 1st birthday. So life kept moving on for her. Again my husband had to go back to work. That's just me though. My life didn't stop because I had kids neither did my husbands

I’ve had 2 sections and been absolutely fine both times, fist time I was out at 4 days and 2nd time my partner was back at work after 3 days so had a toddler as well but had no choice. Everyone is different but it’s definitely doable

No. Honestly you’ll probably be fine to manage but not having support one week after a major surgery and birth of a child is not okay.

But also, big events after the birth of a baby are a big no no. Vaginal or c section birth, this is too soon for large crowds.