Hi, I’m 35 weeks pregnant. My husband acts like he cares but meanwhile he is going behind my back. Today he accidentally left his phone in the bathroom and I needed to use it next. He’s attached to his phone and doesnt go anywhere without it, not even the living room or washroom. This time he accidentally left it, and while I was using the bathroom, I saw notifications from 2 girls. His phone is locked so I couldn’t see from who or what it was. I had a bad day already from work and couldn’t handle this betrayal from him so I went to the bedroom then bathroom to cry silently. He ended up noticing because I was taking a long time and he came in and kept asking why, and finally I just said “I feel like I can’t trust anyone” he said even me? I nodded while still crying. Then he got mad and shut the door. Later I said I can’t hide it, I will tell you why, it’s because you forgot your phone and in those few moments, notifications appeared with two different girls. Then he got mad, said I crossed a boundary and said he can message and do whatever he wants and there’s a court if I don’t like it. Then he opened the fridge and threw away the $6 valentines cake he got me saying I don’t deserve it. Later he kept yelling and screaming and even approached me while I was near the balcony, to threaten me. I said I will go shower and then i didn’t because I was scared of what he might do so i just hid in the washroom. All this while I’m 8 months pregnant. I’m not sure what to do, I don’t have family or friends I can share this with or rely on to help me in this kind of emergency situation. What should I do?
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Hello dear. I have seen people close to me in this situation. First, I want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this. I truly am because even though this is not something I have been through, Ive had to deal with it indirectly and I can fully empathize with.
Second, please think deeply about whether or not you want your kid to be raised in an environment where there’s no trust and there’s a father that can act angrily whenever held accountable or reminded about their basic duty which is to build a loving caring nest for their family.
Does he hate therapy and say only crazy people do it?
Does he make you feel guilty for bringing up something that upset you?
Does he fly off the handle one moment and later pretend things are normal and get mad if you stay upset?
Does he love (to a somewhat unusual extent) to be admired and sometimes admires his own appearance and finds fault in yours?
If you answered yes to most of these know that he will never be fixed and you gotta leave:(