Abusive husband

Hi, I’m 35 weeks pregnant. My husband acts like he cares but meanwhile he is going behind my back. Today he accidentally left his phone in the bathroom and I needed to use it next. He’s attached to his phone and doesnt go anywhere without it, not even the living room or washroom. This time he accidentally left it, and while I was using the bathroom, I saw notifications from 2 girls. His phone is locked so I couldn’t see from who or what it was. I had a bad day already from work and couldn’t handle this betrayal from him so I went to the bedroom then bathroom to cry silently. He ended up noticing because I was taking a long time and he came in and kept asking why, and finally I just said “I feel like I can’t trust anyone” he said even me? I nodded while still crying. Then he got mad and shut the door. Later I said I can’t hide it, I will tell you why, it’s because you forgot your phone and in those few moments, notifications appeared with two different girls. Then he got mad, said I crossed a boundary and said he can message and do whatever he wants and there’s a court if I don’t like it. Then he opened the fridge and threw away the $6 valentines cake he got me saying I don’t deserve it. Later he kept yelling and screaming and even approached me while I was near the balcony, to threaten me. I said I will go shower and then i didn’t because I was scared of what he might do so i just hid in the washroom. All this while I’m 8 months pregnant. I’m not sure what to do, I don’t have family or friends I can share this with or rely on to help me in this kind of emergency situation. What should I do?

in our community

Partners

I just need someone to tell me I’m not losing my shit!!
So my boyfriend, father of my child recently we’re just really on top of each other arguing all the time over the smallest things and it feels like we’re living in a competition rather than being in a team if I’m tired he’s 10 times more tired he gets to go out as on when he wants whenever he wants comes and goes as he pleases, the money situation isn’t great either I was a self-employed hairdresser so I don’t get maternity pay so I’m quite heavily relying on him and I’ve never felt so low from going being self-employed having as much money as I possibly need never having to ask anyone for money to having to rely on someone having to ask to buy basic things that I wouldn’t even think twice about buying and then getting it thrown back in my face in any slight little argument, constantly being told to get up and go back to work being called lazy on a daily basis when I’m home raising is daughter who’s only 5 months old. I’m obviously getting very upset and not really wanting to voice it to him because then when I do everything just gets turned back round onto him rather than listening to me and how I feel everything is always about him. Are all men this selfish or do I need to put my big girl pants on and leave

Baby dad threatening court….

Me and my children’s dad split at the end of April after 4 years together. We have two young children.

Since separating, contact has been extremely inconsistent. Initially he saw them at my house, but after name-calling, arguments and a history of emotional/domestic abuse and controlling behaviour, I told him he couldn’t come into my home anymore.

Since then, there have only been a handful of occasions where he has actually taken the children out and parented independently. He’s been late collecting them, returned them early and changed arrangements. He had his own home shortly after we split but never took the children there — contact has mainly been at his mum’s or friends’ houses.

He got a new girlfriend very soon after we split and, after around 12 weeks, gave up his own flat and moved into her house. He’s now making a bedroom for the children there and suddenly asking/demanding regular overnights and significantly more contact despite the previous inconsistency.

There are also concerns about his parenting. During the whole 3 years my eldest has been alive, he has essentially never dealt with nappies/poo because he’s openly said he hates doing it. I’ve come home before and found that a child hasn’t been properly cleaned, and I have messages about this.

There is also a history of controlling/threatening behaviour. Since separating, he has threatened to use photos of my house being messy against me. Those photos were from a period when I was struggling with postnatal depression and wasn’t receiving support from him. I also have messages where I’ve asked for financial help with things for the children and he’s refused, including saying he’d rather spend his money on drugs/other things.

My eldest is 3, suspected autistic and has just started nursery. I’m his main carer and neither child has ever stayed overnight away from me, so going from inconsistent contact to suddenly wanting regular overnights feels like a huge change.

I’m also concerned about the people and environment the children would be around during longer contact. His dad has previously driven with us while under the influence of drugs without me knowing at the time. I’ve also witnessed/heard behaviour from him towards my children that I found extremely concerning, including encouraging my 2-year-old to repeat a racial slur.

He has made repeatedly racist comments and has also said on multiple occasions that if either of the children were ever gay, he would disown them.

These aren’t things I’m comfortable ignoring when considering who my children are around, particularly for overnight contact.

More recently, their dad has started sending me very legal-looking messages about contact despite there currently being no court order or solicitors involved. He also turned up for contact with a high-back booster seat with no harness for my 3-year-old, which really concerned me.

I have messages/documentation relating to a lot of the above, so I’m not just going off memory.

I’m genuinely looking for experiences from mums who have been through something similar — particularly where a dad was inconsistent after separation and then suddenly wanted significantly more time/overnights, or where there was a history of domestic abuse/control and concerns about the wider family environment.

if CAFCASS/court/mediation became involved, how were things like inconsistent contact, parenting ability, domestic abuse and concerns about who the children were around taken into account?

I’d really appreciate genuine experiences rather than judgement. ❤️

Feeling heartbroken.

So my partner and I have been having issues for a long time and our relationship is not great. Though sometimes we seem quite happy. A few months ago we had a massive argument about him changing his phone password which culminated in me discovering that he doesn't trust me.

We have had arguments a lot and it all comes down to where we live, me not working, me being lazy, me not doing enough around the house, me not driving etc

So I have long felt like a loser, like a failure and like an awful daughter, sister, friend, partner and mum.

This morning, my partner asked me for help giving our kiddo his meds (recent minor surgery), so I did. Our kiddo was struggling and refusing to swallow so it spilled on my hand. In my exhaustion (brought on by my own actions) I raized my voice and slammed my hand on the sink.

Tried the medicine again, sane thing.

My partner then yelled at me to fucking go to bed and he would do it and that I was shoving the syringe in his mouth and hurting him. I said I was not, I was doing it how we had been but that of course he thinks I am hurting our kid, he always thinks that.

Our kiddo was upset and saying sorry and told kiddo it was ok and he didn't need to say sorry, he didn't do anything wrong.

My partner then blamed me for our kiddo saying sorry all the time.

I snapped thatnof course everything is my fault.

Then went bacj to bed.

I am devestated and have no idea where to go from here.

6 month old awake windows 🥳

Hey girls
What do we do with our 6 month old to keep them entertained?
My little boy seems to get bored after 10 mins or so🤣xx

Have you ever had to punch a pillow or throw something out of frustration from your children (but not in their presence)

I mean like taken yourself away to another room to get your anger and frustration out because of them?

Baby eating

Hey all. I have an 8 month old son who doesn’t seem to be that interested in eating food other than his formula. Does anyone else have this issue or did? Like he’ll pick up and eat some stuff but most of the time he doesn’t care for it.
Thoughts or suggestions on how to help with this?
Tomato face for answers.