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Alternative mommas

I feel like I'm failing.

I have a list of medical conditions, and I have good days but so often I'm completely drained. One causes me to have low blood sugar, it's so rare and I feel so alone and scared.
On top of all that I have emetophobia (with OCD) that is so severe I don't know how to cope any more. I've tried exposure therapy, hypnotherapy and have read books to try and help. I'm on the waiting list for CBT but the wait is long. It affects what I eat and so my energy levels are even worse as a result.
My son is 4 and I struggle to entertain him and get out with him as much as I'd like.
As a partner I'm a failure because my anxiety means I'm always on edge and have to have days where I just rest, my partner works 5 days a week, I work 3, neither of us get a break so I feel rotten when my body shuts down.
As a daughter and a friend I'm a shell of who I was, so on edge that I barely smile or laugh. I have to cancel things when I'm unwell and feel like I have to make up excuses and always feel like people are annoyed or want to give up on me.

I don't know how to keep doing this 💔