Am I the Ah?
Recently a thrifted a well taken care of toy for my toddler. When my “bestfriend” came over with her toddler, her toddler was obsessed with my kids new toy. The next day my mom came over, and had happened to buy my kid the brand new version of the toy, not knowing I had thrifted it last week. When I went to my friend’s house the next time, I brought the toy I had thrifted for her child. My kid didn’t need two, and the new one my mom got him was a slightly different color my son liked more.
This was just sharing toys, I did not use this thrifted version as a birthday or Christmas gift. I always get her kiddo a new toy, or a gift card to a place her mom can get her some new clothes.
My friends husband said “why didn’t you give her the new one if you already had this one for your son?”
My friend didn’t say anything. She just stared at me like she was expecting an answer as well.
I was shocked at the question, but politely said “his grandmother bought it for him, so I am keeping it. But I figured since she likes it too, that she could have the extra one, we don’t need two” keep in mind her kid was ecstatically playing with the thrifted toy during all of this.
They were upset. They didn’t say much just grumbled to each-other about the second hand toy but refused to acknowledge or discuss it further with me.
I asked if they wanted the thrifted one before I brought it over. I didn’t just bring a toy without asking, I would never do that, I know kids can get attached quickly so I always check first.
The toy does everything the new version does, and seriously looks brand new. I was so excited when I thrifted it because it was in such great condition. Side by side they look EXACTLY the same minus the color.
Ultimately I was just confused? The toys were almost exactly the same, but I let my son keep the one his grandmother got him because he remembers her giving it to him and he liked the color when I asked him to pick which one he wanted to keep.
I don’t think I was in the wrong, but she was so rude to me for a few weeks after, and I don’t invite her over anymore because she was constantly “noticing” my sons new toys and asking where the old toys are.
When I said I packed them away for our future babies because they weren’t age appropriate for him anymore, she got upset I didn’t give them to her for her daughter. She made a comment about how “you don’t even now if you’ll have more and you’re just holding onto the toys?” I had two miscarriages in 2025, that she knew about, so that comment was brutal.
For the record I bought all of these toys or had been gifted them by blood family. She has never gifted my son a toy. Literally ever. But expects me to give her all of my sons old toys, after being upset I gave her the thrifted version and not the new version that was HIS gift.
Am I the a$$hole? Or is this weird asf behavior. Our kids are about 6 months apart and she’s been acting more and more judgmental ever since we had our kids.
It feels like she sees me as a source of gifts for her kid and a baby sitter, but not as a friend anymore.
I’ve pulled away a lot over the last few months, tired of feeling and listening to her judgment of my parenting style. And she has only gotten colder and weird with me.
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They are weird as hell. If someone gave my child a toy they enjoyed, I would be grateful. Who do they actually think they are??
Asking you about toys you’ve tucked away for hopeful future children is also insane! I would tell this woman and her husband to fuck off permanently because they are treating you like garbage. I don’t even know you and I’m pissed for you lol
No, not the AH. Your friend should be expressing gratitude. I wouldn’t be gifting anything else to her in the future.Unfortunately the baby isn’t too blame. Take joy in knowing how much their baby enjoyed your thoughtful gesture.
That was very rude of them in my opinion! You're definitely not the asshole, you were actually thoughtful & tried to be nice.
Hmmm defo agree and tbh she would not be keeping me as a friend anymore! X
you are definitely not the ah, they are weird and rude
She's weird as hell for how she's acting. So entitled!
This is crazy behaviour from them and so ignorant! Ur so kind for giving it to them wth
Ungrateful as fuck of her
Oh god!! Reading this I wish I had a friend like you. Your best friend gives off weird energy. You need to protect your family from that kind of energy. And best friends don’t feel jealous of each other that’s crazy.. be very careful around her.
That’s insane behavior!! Your child was just gifted a toy that she loves and you’re gonna be weird because it’s not the new one? Gtfo 🤧 Be grateful your friend thought of your child! That shows their character and I’d def pull away too, no thanks! You’re def NOT the AH lovey.
You’re not the AH here. You’re right, that’s such weird behavior. The comment from her husband was extremely rude. They should be grateful. I’d personally be ending the friendship, esp after the “you don’t know if you’re having more kids” comment.
No way, not the AH. I see her thought of getting hand me downs from you with the age difference but it sounds entitled. We don’t know if we’re having another one yet and I have saved everything so far. If we chose to not have anymore, I’ll then go through and get rid of stuff.
No way are you the AH. This woman sounds like a piece of work and I think you can find a far better friend elsewhere, for you and your family to associate with. That comment regarding your miscarriages was disgusting. No friend should ever say something like that to you. Get out of that toxic friendship pronto. 🖕🏻
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