Need som advice on how to talk to my roommates...

I mean I’d send a group message about everyone in the house being responsible for their own dishes getting washed.
But you can’t stop them from going out to eat, just like they can’t stop you from not having extra food to share once they’re back in shared spaces with you. 🤷‍♀️ it might feel rude to say “I cooked enough for the mouths im responsible for” but doesn’t it also feel rude that they say their excused from doing dishes because they don’t use as many as your family does? Lol

You should cook for your family only. Not them. Roommates means you split bills. Don’t go the extra mile. As far as cleaning, clean your dishes and leave theirs. It’s not petty, it’s placing responsibility. Try to get out of living with others as soon as you can.

Does this message sound okay?
"Hey guys, I'm sending this message because something has been really bothering me but I'm not good at voicing how I feel sometimes and this is an easy way for me to do that.
I'm happy to keep cooking dinner for everyone, but me and (husband) can't keep up with the cleaning on top of it. Especially now that hes back to work, it's becoming a lot to deal with. Between managing my 2 kids and waking up to a messy kitchen this morning was really rough for me honestly. I love living together and I don't mind cooking for everyone, but I need to know I can count on you guys to do the clean up after dinner, before I get burnt out. "

Honestly, I think you are overthinking the food situation, and should listen to them about not cooking for them. They are grown adults and if eating out is what they want then so be it, your focus should only be on your family. Your situations are not the same, so you shouldn't feel any pressure to eat out like them, or that you aren't cooking for them.

As for cleaning, they do need to be responsible for their mess only. And that should be the only point of discussion, so long as they are completing their financial responsibility

They told you to not cool for them. Just do that... Why would you cook for your roommates like if you were their mom. I would tell them straight to clean the house. They are responsible of it too.

just tell them to wash their dishes. that’s it. anything else is unneeded info.. roommates is solely paying bills. they aren’t your family and i feel like you’re mixing up the two.. plus to add your life and their lives are completely different so they can do what they want they only are liable for the mess they make anything else is not your concern. simply send a GC

It’s time for a sit down. As much as you hate it, you can’t please everyone nor can you pay/clean for everyone (why yall have roommates). I would start by writing down what most annoys you both, like top 3 things and go from there.

They have literally said you don't have to cook for them. Start cooking only for your family and focusing on that and have the rules that everyone cleans up after themselves. Sounds like it needs to be everyone cooks and cleans for themselves

I totally understand it's hard but freeing yourself from your own expectations may help you to deal better with this situation. They don't expect you to cook them fresh meals everyday. You expect that to yourself and that must be exhausting. I would personally feel very embarrassed in their place. Not even expecting it and still having a person already very busy with kids cook for me and my partner.

I wouldn’t cook for them anymore. They can fend for themselves. So I would only cook for my fam and clean up the dishes I used to cook that. I wouldn’t cook for them anymore since they aren’t grateful for it