Postpartum baby blues

Hi mums, how did you deal with those first two weeks? I’m on day 8 postpartum and the thoughts I’m having are just horrible, if I could give her away I would, just to get back to normal life and every time she cries I just see red and cry, even though obviously she’s fed and clean, I’m not neglecting her, just afraid of those thoughts and just want to know that it’ll get better 🤞🏻

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That sounds really tough. Baby blues are definitely Normal, but what you're experiencing sounds a bit more intense. Let your midwife know how you're feeling, nothing bad will happen if you tell her, and they may refer you for more support through their specific mental health services. Don't wait until it gets worse. Wishing you all the best. X

Baby blues and Post partum depression and rage are not the same so just be aware of that. With my first i got the rage when he cried. I had serious post partum depression and rage. Please contact a Dr esp if you are having thoughts that are scaring you

It will definitely get better! Have you talked to your midwife? 100% chat to your midwife they can refer you for help with perinatal mental health team, and can also sign post you to other help.

It sounds like you are feeling super overwhelmed and just want some space which is 100% a valid feeling. It is perfectly ok to not bond with your baby straight away, so if anyone ever says anything else ignore them.

It can take a while to feel better I won’t lie but the first part in feeling better is admitting your feelings and being honest and seeking help through your support network xxx

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

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Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

Postpartum baby blues

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