Working full time mum! Torn

Have you thought about trying to reduce hours first before resigning?

See if that helps with some of the overwhelm etc. Obviously everyone is different but for me working 3 days is the best of both worlds. I get to feel like myself and do something separate from being a mum but I am also off 2 days a week so my daughter gets some time with me.

I’m a working FT mom to a 10 month old and man I soooo wish I could resign but can’t afford to. Work is draining and by the time I’m home, my brain is fried. My husband and I both work so we literally tag team baby every day. It can be exhausting!! But it deff makes a big difference that he always meets me half way.

If you can afford to resign, I would say do it!! You won’t ever regret spending time with your kids and putting your career on hold for your own sanity. Work will always be there but we only get this once chance at their childhood and also your mental health is important.,

That sucks! I wonder whether the fact you are a manager is some of the overwhelm. Would a step down and part time be an option?

I would vote that you should keep working full time and your husband should do more at home! It’s not fair that it’s always women who have to sacrifice their careers. If you stop working now, it will be harder to reenter the workforce when the kids start school. I recommend a book called Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu

I personally think, if you can afford to not work and provide a good life for you’re children then do it resign especially if you’re struggling however if you can’t financially afford it then I’d stay working

If you can afford it, resign! If I could, I would in a heartbeat! And I work 100% from home. It’s just too much.

When you're calculating what's affordable make sure you take pension contributions into account. Ie, if you reduce hours your pension reduces too. If you stop working are you going to start a private pension? Also, depending on the country you're in (UK Advice following) if you don't have sufficient years contributing to NI you may effect your government pension eligibility. I'd ask about what your childcare arrangement is and if you have support outside of just you two.

Can you hire a babysitter to do 1-2 evenings per week? My son has an amazing babysitter who’s honestly part of the family come once per week and having those extra 3.5 hours literally make FT possible for me. Also yeah — drop the ball. Keep your foot in your career, it’s okay to be mediocre instead of perfect for a while. Some people are mediocre at their jobs when there’s no kids!!

OP, did you submit a formal flexible working request?

It's a really tough one. On one hand, your children will only be this little once. But on the other, you have spent years building your career and it would be a shame to walk away from that. Especially as the job market and economy and rough, and it's often super difficult for women who have taken a few years out to rejoin the workforce (esp at senior levels).

Is there a competitor who may be able to offer more flexible working/pt hours? There must be some middle ground somewhere.

Wishing you all the best x

Also- my son is always unwell and regularly has to go to hospital. Which is another barrier in my life. My work did offer me 13weeks unpaid to take within the year but I dont know if I just want part time