Am I wrong for wanting boundaries with visitors
My partner and I live together, and I’m a first-time mom to our two-month-old baby. Since the very first day I came home from the hospital after my C-section, while I was in pain and recovering, he had friends over without consulting me. I was so overwhelmed that I ended up crying in front of them.
Since then, he has continued agreeing to visits on weekdays and weekends without consulting me first. Sometimes, we’ll literally be in the middle of a conversation, and he’ll interrupt me to say, “Can you open the door? So-and-so is downstairs to see the baby.”
Yesterday was the height of it all, and I finally had enough. He came home from work around 9:30 p.m., and I had been taking care of the baby the entire time. He then asked if his friend had called me because they wanted to come see the baby. I finally confronted him because I’m tired of this happening repeatedly.
I’m exhausted, and weekends are my only chance to get things done while he helps with the baby. I don’t mind visitors, but I expect advance notice and to be consulted before anyone is invited over. The frustrating part is that when I speak up, I’m made to feel like the villain while he gets to be the good guy who says yes to everyone.
Am I wrong for wanting basic consideration and boundaries in my own home?
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Nope this is perfectly reasonable!
Not at all, that’s crazy behaviour on his part. I’d call him out in front of his friends. I had mine four weeks ago and I’ve seen one person - my father in law - because he was looking after my toddler whilst I had my section. Start advocating for yourself and baby.
I stopped answering the door unless I was expecting a visitor. I used to open it and if they had just turned up, id tell them to go and arrange a time when I was ready for people to meet her. I explained to everyone that the first week was just me, my partner and other kids to bond as a family. Anyone turned up, got sent away x
Nope you are completely right on your part to want this and also to all visitors I don’t understand how they don’t have this common sense that they should wait for few more months to visit you and your family
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Effect on marriage
How has having a baby changed your marriage and the way you treat your husband?
I’m genuinely curious to hear other moms’ experiences because I feel like we don’t talk enough about this side of motherhood.
My husband is honestly amazing. He’s a cardiology fellow, so his schedule is extremely busy, but he still makes an effort to spend time with me, help with the baby, and give me opportunities to rest. I really couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband.
However, since becoming pregnant and having my baby, I feel like I’m not myself anymore. I’m constantly irritable, I snap at my husband over little things, and sometimes I find myself getting annoyed just by his presence, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. I also feel emotionally disconnected at times, and I feel so guilty because he genuinely tries his best.
I’m currently a SAHM, and I struggle with motivation and productivity, too. Some days, I’ll cook dinner and clean the kitchen, but the rest of the house will be untouched. Even when the baby naps for longer than 30 minutes, I often end up doomscrolling or staring into space instead of resting or getting things done. Then I feel guilty about that, too.
I know having a baby changes your relationship, but sometimes I feel like I’m the one causing all the problems in our marriage because I can’t seem to regulate my emotions the way I used to.
I’d really love honest answers from moms:
* How has your relationship with your husband changed since having kids?
* Have you found yourself being more irritable, resentful, or emotionally distant from your husband, even when he’s supportive and hasn’t done anything wrong?
* Did you go through a period of feeling like you weren’t yourself anymore? If so, did it get better with time?
* How long did it take for things to feel more normal again?
I’m not looking for perfect marriage stories. I genuinely want to hear the honest, messy reality of what this transition has been like for other women, especially those who have supportive husbands but still struggle emotionally.
I think I need some perspective on what other moms have experienced because sometimes it feels like I’m the only one struggling with this.
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Am I wrong for wanting boundaries with visitors
My partner and I live together, and I’m a first-time mom to our two-month-old baby. Since the very first day I came home from the hospital after my C-section, while I was in pain and recovering, he had friends over without consulting me. I was so overwhelmed that I ended up crying in front of them.
Since then, he has continued agreeing to visits on weekdays and weekends without consulting me first. Sometimes, we’ll literally be in the middle of a conversation, and he’ll interrupt me to say, “Can you open the door? So-and-so is downstairs to see the baby.”
Yesterday was the height of it all, and I finally had enough. He came home from work around 9:30 p.m., and I had been taking care of the baby the entire time. He then asked if his friend had called me because they wanted to come see the baby. I finally confronted him because I’m tired of this happening repeatedly.
I’m exhausted, and weekends are my only chance to get things done while he helps with the baby. I don’t mind visitors, but I expect advance notice and to be consulted before anyone is invited over. The frustrating part is that when I speak up, I’m made to feel like the villain while he gets to be the good guy who says yes to everyone.
Am I wrong for wanting basic consideration and boundaries in my own home?
4
SAHM life
Can we talk about how hard it is to loose financial independence??
Don’t get me wrong I love being a SAHM and I wouldn’t choose going to work over spending time with my baby, being able to raise him and be present in every stage.
BUT
Is really hard for me to depend on someone else financially. I feel like I lost freedom over myself. My boyfriend makes sure I have all that I need, but sometimes I just wanna go have a coffee, or organize a family gathering, IDK many other things that I need to ask him for money to do and if he doesn’t feel like spending money then I’m the one that has to deal with that. I just feel so vulnerable and sad. I wanna be able to get matching pjs for Christmas for us, or to get some cupcakes to celebrate each month for my baby and I CANT. Not without him. Ugh I FEEL CAGED idk if someone else has gone through something like it.
The only thing that keeps me going is that in a few years my baby is going to school and I can go back to my teacher job and do this little things that I’ve been wanting to but still this has been really hard for me.
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Mother in law
Does anyone else find their mother in law completely over controlling with their baby?
Mine is doing my absolute head in moaning telling me what I can and can’t do with my baby? I can’t take her out without her knowing about it, I can’t even hold her when she’s around. I’m all for a bit of advice and help but know your place. I’ve spoke to my partner about it and he’s spoke to her but nothings changed. I’m getting so close to snapping but I know it will cause drama within the family 😩
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Just needed to get this off my chest
My babby is EBF. Its mine and my partners 7 year anniversary this weekend. He has asked his mum to come down and baby sit.
So I said to him when I guessed she was coming down that i felt uncomfortable leaving the babby for a long period of time. So she may have to come with us. He got all triggered and just said he's trying to do something nice and that we will only be gone 2hrs and, i would feed her before and that itll be child free. Which I appreciate the nice gesture.
Anyway today is the day she babysits. He said we are going at 1pm. Our babby naps at 12-130. So if we are gone from 1 we won't be getting back until 3/330/4!! All my worries have come true. She doesnt take a bottle, I have no expressed milk anyway..
Eurgh why dont men get it?! Feel like he never truly heard my concerns. All I'm gonna do is worry
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Baby weaning!
Hello FTM here! My boy will be 5 months on the 17th of this month. For the past week he’s been having the cow and gate banana porridge once a day, absolutely devours it. I’m wondering what the next step is in our journey? He had a couple of tastes of purée mango and pear, didn’t hate them but didn’t exactly like them, he only had a couple of spoon fulls before he wasn’t interested anymore, I think the tangy taste shocked him a bit. When we start weaning, our plan was to puree some of our food up for him. When should I start this? We tend to eat a lot of chicken/meat, pastas, potatoes, veg etc. Thank you
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