I need advices😭😭😭

Could you compromise on making the trip shorter? Usually the trip is that long because it's so far away, so staying a week or 2 isn't worth it financially. But also, March is next week and he wanted to travel when?

I think you should try to be a little more empathetic. Someone who is very special to him may not make it (for whatever reason) and the resentment and guilt he'd feel from not visiting will definitely hurt him/your relationship. Especially if you're the reason behind him not going

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this it’s not nice at all. I think the way to make yourself feel better would be to maybe start part time work? And put little one in nursery, even if it’s like two days a week, it will make you have some kind of routine and feel better in yourself, rather than living the same day over and over it breaks it up abit and nursery is amazing for them! You’ll then feel like you’re earning some money yourself and feel happier, I would suggest going there to visit for a couple of weeks but personally I wouldn’t go for longer x

I think for starters it sounds like you feel the need to be in control of everything, is it because you dont trust him with the finances? Has he gave you a reason not to? If he thinks he can pay in installments I wouldnt worry. I get him wanting to travel back home, all immigrants have this need to go back to visit their family, I understand. As fas as clothes and stuff go, depending on when you go you might not need much, most of south America is pretty warm, even in December. So for a month you probably just need like idk 3 t-shirts, 2 shorts maybe 2 summer dresses and some shoes. Dont overthink it, you dont need a different outfit for every day. If you cant have a bag with you with clothes maybe layer some clothes on yourself noone can tell you you cant wear multiple shirts on you while boarding lol.

As far as going for a month i get it. The math is because spending so much money to go for a week is not worth it. Most people who travel that far go for a month if not longer...

The first few days of trip you'll have jet lag. Plus you want a week to rest, 1-2 weeks to spend visiting family, and maybe a week to sight see.

While it might seem like a “holiday” to you, it’s not to him! He is going home to be with his family. I know money is tight but put yourself in his shoes… you’d absolutely want your son to meet your mother before she died, right?!!!!! I have taken my daughter back to Australia from the US on my own twice. The second time, it was to say goodbye to my mother before she passed. There is NO WAY IN HELL I would have listened to my husband telling me I couldn’t take her with me. I went for 7 weeks.. if you cannot be away from your potential job in the future for long, then I think 2 weeks is enough for your son to spend time with his family. You can fly back with him earlier and your partner can stay longer. money comes and goes. But he’ll never get this chance again. Please find a way.

I am from Central America, so quite a similar situation, we have 2 children, have not seen my family since 2022. I have not been back since 2018. We are very close and love each other so much, I miss them, they miss me, they have not meet my second, but we have now 2 children! Makes no sense financially to go there, or at the moment to pay for them to come here. Our children are the priority. This was the choice I made when I came to the UK to be with my husband. I would not just go on my own and leave my children with my husband. It is in my plans to save and pay for my mom to come, however it is not my priority. We video call everyday. The whole I am afraid auntie will die, sounds very relatable we are very family orientated culture, and feel like that sometimes makes us financially impulsive. Sorry to me, He is delusional you have a small 2.5 year old child to go to another country for a month being financially tight. What would happen if there is an emergency?

Not sure about your husband's country but in mine, healthcare is nothing like the UK, literally butchers like if you go public, which not having insurance you would still have to pay. And the good hospitals are mega expensive, kids do not use car seats and everyone is used to carry them on the legs in a taxi or in an overcrowded bus, and we also have a big issue with crime and gangs. Lots of children go missing in the week and people get shot and murdered in the everyday news which is The main reason why with all the pain in my heart I will not be taking my children there. People from my country would not like me for saying this, but I come from there and it is just too much a big risk. When is suitable for us I will bring them here, one by one.

Also, if we were to go and stay in my childhood home, it would not be anything like the house I live here in the UK, as it is very humble I would stress a lot with my little babies not being comfortable, and being a tropical country there is just so many bugs and mosquitos that carry illnesses we don't have here. But obviously your husband's country and family economy might be completely different than my family's in my home country minimum wage is something like less than £2 per hour and expenses are very comparable to here. Just sharing my own perspective as If it was me going back to my home country with kids. I would have to be delusional!

I understand you’re worried about the logistics of it, but this is essentially his mother we’re talking about. He hasn’t seen her in person in 11 years and wants her to meet his son and his partner. You can definitely make anything work if you set your mind to it. If you’re worried about finances, maybe he can do some side work on the weekends, you can get the part time job you mentioned - jobs won’t care about you taking a month off as long as you’re honest with them. Or get a job now then quit when you go if they won’t give you time off. Then find another when you get back. You could also look for a work from home job or try to make money online, there are literally SO many ways yall could come up with 7k in 10 months. If this is something that’s that important to him, yall should figure out a way to make it work. Maybe you could go next March so you have an entire year to come up with the money. Saying this holiday “isn’t what you need right now” isn’t fair to him

Could he not go by himself? You say you aren’t comfortable with him going alone, not sure why but if it’s because you are worried about looking after your child by yourself, do you have family around that could perhaps come and help or you fo to them? It’s either that or you all go to South America together.

If you think you are depressed, I’d refer myself to the GP and they can get you some help, for free. Worth a shot.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him wanting to go but you need a little longer to save for it. 2 weeks might be more realistic with his work as well. And you could bring one suitcase if your going to go. Is there enough room for all of you when you stay? Is it safe for you to go there with your son? A holiday might be just what you need anyway. Do you/they speak the language as I’d imagine it might feel quite isolating. Are you worried if he goes by himself he might not come back?

Would it bother you if he went on his own ? I feel that may be better than all 3 of you going especially with just backpacks ! The amount of things a child needs ! But more to the point if you can’t afford it it’s beyond stupid … just cause more debt you don’t need
I understand why he wants to go but maybe he should of thought of this way before and saved for it

Don't go, if he wants to go then he can go! You are depressed, you need health care here in the UK, you need your family around you. You don't need to put yourself in a country where you know one person and no one else.
What if he decides he wants to stay? What do you do then? You have no money....
Think about this carefully, speak to your family and get some professional help, you've gone through a lot of changes and it sounds like the best outcome for you would be therapy, nursery for your son and a part time job to give you some of "you" back

Sorry but I am on his side on this one. I do totally understand your concerns but this is someone basically on the level of a parent who might not make it. I would do anything I could to get there & be with my mom - and if my partner told me I couldn’t I’d tell him to go f himself. I get you’re going through things of your own and worried about money but I definitely wouldn’t consider this a “holiday”

What is the worst that can happen? (Not asking to be a dick - genuine question) x

The only thing I can help with here, is go on comparethemarket and get a new quote for insurance. Pick the cheapest one and either switch to them, or call your current insurance and explain you’re switching because of the price difference and they’ll do what they can to match or beat the price of the other company. Assuming you’re not a young driver £800 is very high. Most companies will let you cancel up to 14 days after the renewal date or will refund you the difference if they can make it cheaper for you

Wait until you’re in a better situation financially… especially if she is not unwell and there’s no urgency. Also can’t you just go for a couple of weeks instead of a whole month

If you were in his shoes you would also want to go see who’s essentially your mother. He’s not been there for 11 years ffs, he wants his aunt to meet his son before he dies. That doesn’t have a price. I’m sorry but this post is terribly selfish, and I feel for him. Clearly you and many of these commenters don’t understand what it’s like to migrate and it breaks my heart that his own partner has no understanding or compassion for his position. Migrating is such a lonely experience because of this. As he says, you can pay it in instalments and you will manage to recover, but if his aunt dies, she’ll be gone forever. I’ve lost family back home that I wasn’t able to see for years. It is so difficult.

And I'm not saying not to see her at all, but make it rationally when they are in a better financially and emotionally. Allow OP to get back to work when she was planning to, and save for auntie to come here or for all of them to go for a couple of weeks. Obviously first option is more affordable, but certainly do not get in debt impulsively. At the end of the day if his work let go of him it sounds like it will be HER parents helping financially as they already do.