Is something wrong with me ?

My husband and I just went on a double date. I’m a first time sahm w no car. So I’m home all day everyday except for when me and baby go on afternoon walks. And on weekend my husband and I go to the park or out for lunch or something. Ok so we’re on this double date it’s his best friend and his gf. Me and gf are talking whole time right ? We’re talking about working out, plans, etc. Everything seems fine. In the car otw home my husband says “you sounded miserable” … because I said I’m home all the time a lot ???!? Which is true but it’s because I am ??!? I said that and he said yeah but you didn’t have to say it so much it made you sound miserable … I started crying and have been so upset since. Because that’s mean isn’t it ? And so what if they think I’m miserable why do you care what they think ??? And I don’t think I sounded miserable I just was saying I’m home all the time so im not going to gym or we talked about shows and I said I’ve watched so many now because I’m home all the time ??? Nothing crazy ??? Why would he say that ?? Am I in the wrong ?? Sorry this is long I just didn’t think my husband could be mean like that and I’m kind of spiraling.

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As I’m crying and telling him to put himself in my shoes he then says i simply sound ungrateful. But I always telling him how grateful I am and I don’t think me stating facts while I’m having GIRL TALK comes off as ungrateful ???

You are not in the wrong. These feelings are so valid and I believe it would be VERY hard for someone who goes out everyday to work, etc. to understand what it’s like to be a sahm. We might be grateful to have all this time with our little ones but gosh it can be hard! You are allowed to vent

You're not in the wrong. I also don't think you sound miserable. It's an adjustment to go from working to staying at home, but i cherish my time with my son as a sahm and I am not miserable in the slightest to get to spend all this time with my favorite person in the world. I don't think you should feel bad about being home with your child and he shouldn't feel bad about it either. You're raising your child, not a nanny, not another family member, but YOU. You should feel proud that your child gets so much of you. Not everyone has that luxury.

It’s weird that he said you sound miserable and rather than him checking in on you and maybe making plans with you to get you out more…. Instead he makes you feel bad for expressing yourself.

And then he has the audacity to call you ungrateful?!? The fuck!! Why is he jumping to all these negative conclusions about you?

You’d feelings are valid and he is acting irrational and it’s a bit of red flag that he cares more about how the friends see you then actually doing something about it.

And I’m curious if he showed you any empathy or sympathy towards you after he realized you were crying?

It seems like he’s embarrassed that you might be unhappy so he’s unable to empathize with you. Your feelings are valid, whether he sees it or not. And I’m sure the woman you were talking to didn’t feel you were miserable

I had a top 4 corporate job I felt so interesting & confident
15 months ago I became a SAHM
until this year I felt boring & anxious
My identity was based around the high flyer city girl
I had no idea being a Mother is the greatest achievement I will ever have Raising happy kind confidence smart children is the goal
I’ve placed my ambitions on this & have shifted my mindset
I’ve started an online nutrition & child psychology course
These are just for me to gain knowledge & implement within my children’s lives I don’t take them too seriously
I love cooking & watching my baby play
My point is our roles shift use your words wisely
Your not just at home
Right now is a key chapter wholeheartedly immerse yourself in it
P.s
I bet the gf yearns for your life
Still in the dating phase with all that time to fill
P.p.s
Your husband seems like he hasn’t stepped into his fatherhood shoes because he’s comments are based around his ego of looking good & not his heart which would praise

I think u didn’t say it enough, u should have said it even more. Don’t let anyone diminish what ur doing or going through.
In fact emphasize it!!!!!!!!!
Make it a big deal, if it’s something good make it sounds great , if it’s something bad make it sounds horrible.
Whatever it is do not shrink ur experience just to make others comfortable.

Ur partner should have checked on u instead of making u feel bad.
He should have said hey babe are u feeling miserable being at home so much? Is there anything I can do to help

Use his money, get u a nanny. Asap get u a nanny asap . Get u a cleaner, and don’t cook everyday only 3 times per week
Also make him take care of the baby so u can have more time to urself and out

Men don’t want to do the work but are ok using their money to fix problems so use his money and get u the help u need

I suppose it depends on how you were saying it maybe, also if he just heard parts of it & not in full context maybe it did come of as miserable who knows , is there not public transport near you for you to get so you can go out ?

I think all STAHM feel a bit overwhelmed and stir crazy at times. I know when people ask me how I’m doing being home with the baby now I definitely vent a little about being home constantly and having no time for myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t love being a STAHM I just get bored of the same exact routine everyday. I miss socialising. It’s a very isolating time. My husband struggles to understand that I can be overwhelmed and feel like I have no help. I think it’s hard sometimes for them to understand because they’ve never done it. To them they make the sacrifice of providing financially and taking that stress, which they do but they don’t see the sacrifices we make all the time. It’s also hard to describe postpartum emotions to a man they don’t have the same hormonal shifts we do. At the end of the day I understand why you are upset. I think it’s just important to remember he wants you to be happy and if he feels like he’s failing at that he could be hurt.

If only he knew what you're going through by being at home 24/7...
You are doing a lot of things during your day even though you stay home a lot. How does he assume that you sound miserable?
Did you not sound happy? When saying you're at home a lot...

he sounds like he’s feeling some type of guilt by having you home all the time and doesn’t want people to know. this is weird

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Opinions please

So my sister, 19 month old and partner were in the front room watching TV. I was in the kitchen so was unaware of what was going on. My sister told me that my partner was trying to get my son's attention just for the sake of it, asking what he's watching and then calling his name to which my son didn't respond. Apparently my partner then said 'I should fly kick you' to my son in a jokey way. Now reading this, you may be thinking what the actual he'll, just as I am! But my partner is just stupid and doesnt even try to filter his words at times and to be honest, for many other reasons I'm thinking about leaving him.

Eventhough he didn't mean this seriously I just think its such an insane thing to say to any child let alone your own!

I havent even questionedhim about it since as he's not really been home since, but I know that if I do ask him about it he'll admit It but not realise the severity of it and probably say/act like I'm being extra

Thoughts and opinions please!

AITA ??

I have 2 under 2. One being a newborn.

My friend came over to visit and brought her 6 year old. Her child is veryyy tall and looks about 10. She has a lot of energy & just doesnt stop.

Anyway, my 2 year old is being assessed for autism. She does not like physical touch, people in her personal space or loud noises. My friend knows this.

Anyway, her child has come in SHOUTING and playing music on her phone. She was throwing my childs toys around & then got on to her trampoline. Bare in mind, shes 2 so its a little trampoline. She started bouncing and I asked her if she could please come off it as it was for small children. She shouted, laughed and carried on. My 2 year old wanted to be picked up as she was overstimulated. I asked my friend if she could turn the volume down on her daughters phone and it was too loud and my toddler was VISIBLY upset and covering her ears. I also had a sleeping newborn next to me. She asked her daughter and she refused and that was it.

She then started shouting my childs name and was putting her phone in her face. I asked her not to do that and give her some space.

She then took my toddlers snack and started eating in. My child has safe foods so got very upset as she was eating it.

I looked at my friend and she laughed saying "gosh she doesnt listen." To which I said "can you please tell her to stop it shes upsetting my child" and she laughed saying "honestly she doesnt listen."

This went on for over an hour & my child was besides herself. Shes non verbal but I understand her cues. I tried to take her upstairs for a nap & asked my friends child if she could be a bit quieter as my baby was sleeping & my toddler was going to bed. I hugged my toddler to console her and she laid down for a nap. 5 minutes later, my friend said "i'm going to the toilet" and took her child with her. I told her not to flush the toilet as it would wake my toddler. Heard them both upstairs cackling, then saw on the camera - her daughter go into my childs bedroom and stroke her face whilst she was asleep. She then started getting all her books out and throwing them around. My friend came downstairs and said "shes just chilling upstairs for abit."

My head WENT & I said "shes not fucking chilling she's gonna wake my toddler up" and she did. My toddler was scared as she woke up to banging and a fucking 6 year old trying to climb into her cot. I went upstairs and told her to please get out. She then started shouting my daughters name - who at this point was absolutely besides herself upset.

I went downstairs and said to my friend "shes woke my child up and im now going to have to deal with an overtired and upset child." She laughed and said "its kids being kids." I then said I was expecting another visitor and she had to leave.

I am so annoyed that she doesnt even TRY control her child. She has damaged books & a trampoline and she just watched her do it. Said nothing. I dont like to tell other peoples kids what to do but I'm livid. She then went and tried to pick my newborn up so I said "no put her down." Too late, she woke her up. She had barely napped so was upset she had been disturbed. My friend said "she just wanted to hold her" so I said "I dont care, i feel disrespected in my own house." And then she left. She then text me saying "was so nice to see you today."

I'm DONE with her.

Unannounced guests with a newborn

11 day old newborn&2 year old. Recovering from c section.

Am i crazy for sending my cousins away after they showed up at 10am expecting to be let in my house ?

They don’t know what kind of night we had , we could’ve been at a doctors appointment, mind you , anyone else that has come to visit us, has either texts or called to see when would be best. Like normal people.

Not even an hour before they showed up , I just got my husband to sleep after taking care of me all night, who brought our toddler to nap with him because he was also up. I just got my newborn down and quiet in her crib , which almost never happens. And I ran to the store to grab bandages for myself because my c section scar is ripping open. I planned on coming home to shower and rebandage and sleep too. Came home to find them in my driveway. I sent them home (balling my eyes out) , and now I’m once again the crazy person being talked about in my family. …
Please tell me if I was wrong.

Ok so I’m opening up

Opening up about the most recent incident when he smashed our chest of drawers the night I came home with my newborn after giving birth because my daughter was screaming for “mummy” and not settling and because I wasn’t following his instructions of being in another room and came to soothe her.

Opening up about the times he’s called me a warthog, that I have big flappas since breastfeeding. He’s pointed out the rolls on my back this PP. He tells me my feet are crusty, always comments on my hair being a mess. I cannot remember the last time he said wow you look beautiful or anything along those lines. He says “when you get back in shape”- but the interesting thing is - when I was in shape he didn’t compliment me then anyway!

Opening up about how every single weekend and every single day we do whatever he wants to do. He likes walks, I don’t particularly but I allow him to make that our family weekend. He either takes my daughter for a walk and I miss her loads or I join and I’m never truly feeling it. If our hobbies were balanced I’d feel ALOT happier. But they are not.

Now - he pays for everything when we go out. Meals, food and he cooks dinner for me. He calls me “Matren” if I ask him for my water bottle for example he will say ok and what else do you want “Matren” I’m honestly sick and tired of being called these things. I told him today and he said - I’m sorry you can’t handle it? It’s weird that you can’t handle these teases I’m only teasing you. It’s lighthearted and I don’t mean it, I tease all my friends and family. They don’t mind

Am I just in my feels because I’m postpartum?

Fiancée

Am i being dramatic for being upset over my partner saying he wishes he never had our little one just because she keeps crying😞feel really hurt by it…
She’s also teething atm

this is his second child & my first btw

Just needing to vent honestly

I dunno how mothers with more than 2 kids function. I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old and I am drowning.

We keep getting ill because of my 3yos nursery, so baby has just been congested for ages and isn't sleeping properly, which means I'm not sleeping, like, at all.

My 3 year old is driving me crazy, he just needs constant attention on him, and will not leave me alone for a single second. He follows me into every room, even up to the toilet, he is glued to my legs when I'm cooking dinner, he refuses to sit next to his dad at mealtimes meaning I'm the one helping him, not that he needs loads of help to actually eat, it's more just the constant spilling and wanting things cut up and refilling his water and wanting more condiments, I never get to just eat my meal without stopping and/or getting up 20 times.

Every evening for babies longest wake window, it's pretty much all me. My husband is around, but he'd much rather do the housework, which of course I appreciate, but I would love more if he could just take baby and let me do housework and be away from her. I just want some time away from both kids. Just any time. I don't care if its doing housework.

But my husband has OCD (actually diagnosed, not just exaggerating), so the housework needs to be done in a particular way. If I did it, he would redo it. So there's not even any point. And he's terrible at playing with baby anyways, he gets bored and just goes on his phone and she gets bored and starts screaming and I get overwhelmed because he's not tending to her properly and we all just end up annoyed with one another. So it's just easier he does the housework and I do the childcare.

But I am burnt out. Truly, burnt out. From looking after both kids. Even with my husband help. I don't know how people do it. Especially people with 3+ kids. How??

I regularly find myself crying, or getting so frustrated I need to go into another room. But my 3yo finds me and knocks the door until I come out.

It's relentless. I need a day off. I can never get time to myself. If my inlaws take 3yo, I still have baby. They won't have them both, it's too much for them. And with baby's sleep being utter shit, I don't get to relax even when she naps, because her naps are like 20 minutes at best and if you even dare to breathe loudly she will wake.

I'm just feeling so done.