Sensitive topic and possible trigger for people with trauma
My husband of 10 years and I have separated. He cheated on me constantly. Never physically but emotional, online sexual interactions and constant boundary crossing with his hoe ass female friends. We have kids so I can’t cut him off but I did create distance and we only talk when necessary. Before this though we had one last deep conversation where I kept asking why..I found out he had been SA’d as a child and it’s affected him and causes him to seek female validation/attention. I really want him to see a professional for this but he absolutely refuses. I get it it’s hard for men to talk about things like this but I can see how much it’s hurting him.
I was thinking about being his “therapist” or rather just someone to talk to about this..? I feel like if the first time he talks about it is with someone he’s close with, he could get more comfortable talking about this thing and eventually go to a professional. But I’m worried about what this would do to me. I still really love him but want to give myself a chance to get over him. Wouldn’t talking to him like this do the opposite? I also need to heal and protect my peace, look after myself but his trauma is real and it’s getting worse. I know this because the way in which he cheats started getting worse as well. That shows me how desperate he is..idk what to do
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Either get back with him or don't. There's no in between in my opinion.
A therapist is not a friend or emotionally invested, though they can root for you. You can't ever be a therapist in the real sense
You also can't fix the traumatic past as a way of getting a 100%, faithful companion out of it. I don't think it works like that.
And people with trauma can still be faithful. There's never an excuse.
If you're breaking up with him, be a solid co-parent, a safe space. There's nothing greater you can do.
Nah girl he’s a grown man. There’s plenty of help and education on the internet.
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