Having a bit of a sad day

I don’t know if I want advice or just to get it out a bit.
I had a bit of a rubbish Mother’s Day, and then today had a falling out with my mum.
Very long story short, me and my partner turn 30 this year and were thinking of taking a short trip (2-3 days max) just the two of us to celebrate. Our son will be 2 by then.
We had discussed leaving our son with our parents and them sort of splitting having him (eg. My mum has him one night and my boyfriend’s mum has him the other two nights, or whatever we collectively decide on). They are both happy to do this.

Yesterday my MIL was pushing my son’s pram and got distracted and pushed it off the pavement into the road, a car missed the pram by about 5 seconds. This upset me a lot.

Me and my partner discussed this later on and I said it worries me leaving our son with her in case she does something like that. We also discussed the fact that my mum pays very little attention to our son when she’s with him and is absolutely glued to her phone (looking at social media etc) so we might just take him on holiday with us.

Then this morning I had a chat with my mum and told her we would probably just take our son away with us. She asked why and I mentioned the pram thing with my MIL so she said she would just have him- so I thought it was time to mention that when she’s with him she is glued to her phone and gets distracted and that it just worries me a bit. (For reference she’s been watching him before and because she’s been on her phone he’s managed to get half way up her stairs.)
She absolutely lost it at me. Called me rude etc.

I try so hard not to upset anyone and I’m just so so fed up now. I just wish it was simple and we could trust them to take care of him but they are both away with the fairies.

I want to talk to my mum but i don’t know how to approach it now. Just feel like i need a big cry.

in our community

Health Visitors!

Need a good rant SORRY but does anyone else feel like HV's seek joy by trying to make you feel like a bad parent or is it just me!? 🫠

I took my son to the HV drop in clinic to query something about his skin, they weighed him whilst he was there, plotted it on a graph and said that he hasn't put on enough weight and that they want to refer me to a feeding specialist, essentially, what I am doing is not good enough and he's withering away

This is my second breast fed child, and the HV's should know more than anyone that ALL children develop differently!?

He turned 3 months old last week, he is quite clearly happy and healthy and fed on demand whenever the heck he wants some din din

I ALWAYS come away from HV's pissed off for whatever reason

Time-out method at nursery

I just found out that they put our son on time out in the corner of the room for 2 minutes for pushing another child. He had been pushing a lot that day apparently but they didn’t tell us on pick up. We found out coincidentally because his key person was at the drop off this morning. I’m fuming! What would you do? Am I overreacting?

Appropriate age to go out

I am the kind of person who struggles with being at home all day, not good for my mental health. I have a 1 month old and I am trying to start doing things with her. Like going ti the park, running errands. But people seem surprised and kind of judgy that I am out with the baby at her age. Is this wrong?

First Mother’s Day

I feel like such a bad person for this & I’m not looking for sympathy or anything but yesterday was going so well and than I got really emotional and upset because my partner done everything special he could have done but he didn’t even put a few lines in a card from my baby for my first Mother’s Day card..
He said that because there was lots of writing in the card he didn’t realise that it would have hurt or upset me so bad but it did.. I let it affect me alot more than I feel like it should have but I LOVE sentimental things I love little things like that, meaningful stuff. Especially being my first Mother’s Day that I’ve dreamt of all my life..
There is a big age gap between me and my partner and also he’s Italian so maybe he didn’t realise but I just feel so goddam shit about it. Like I ruined MY day..
I spent the day all on my own with my baby at my mums house instead of with my partner bc of me reacting the way I did and I just felt like I toke it so wrong..
I feel I can’t forgive myself for this and I am the type of person to keep thinking about the situation even if my partner says everything’s okay. I beat myself up about it so badly and in such a low mood for it. Even today and yesterday has passed😞
Maybe this may help getting it off my chest and writing it down but how can I seriously live with myself from this? What can I do better?
I’m such an awful person I know😫😫

Can anyone offer me reassurance?😪

It's currently 4:35am where we live, I've been up since 2am with my toddler (2years9months) who has vomited 5 times.
I'm not sure what it could be, whether food poisoning or a stomach bug, but he's exhausted and has finally fallen asleep.

I'm just really shaken up and don't think I'll sleep tonight. I'm 37 weeks pregnant, sitting on my birth ball next to his bed just watching him and listening for signs he may be sick.

He woke me up over his baby monitor at 2am, I just heard him coughing and spluttering and thrashing around in his bed, it gave me such a massive fright. I don't mind vomit so much, like physically I'm not someone who's bothered by vomiting and ill happily catch it in my hands, but him being unwell just gives me SO much anxiety, and I'm already a hormonal mess atm.

It's so typical that it happens tonight as my husband has a really important day at work tomorrow. Usually he works from home but he has an important meeting in the office tomorrow that he can't miss. He's been up helping me since 2am but I've told him to go back to sleep now. Now I'm just sitting here full of anxiety. Can anyone reassure me, give advice etc?

He started being sick at 2am, again at around 2.30, 3, 3.30, 4.15. He's just completely conked out asleep he's exhausted. He's refusing water, he took one little sip after the 2nd bout of sickness and just threw up again. I have it here just in case of course. I've had to change the bedding, his clothes twice, my clothes, we have several towels dirty too. I'm so overwhelmed and anxious 😪

And he's been sick before obviously but just never so much in such a short space of time.

“Bad mum”

I had a Mother’s Day afternoon tea yesterday for myself, my mum and my MIL. MIL arrived and didn’t say anything to me, just walked in and sat down. My mum was fussing over my LG as she usually does whilst I was in and out sorting food, making a bottle, feeding the cat, but she was getting wriggly so I took her and put her on her play mat and when I walked away to get her some toys to play with she whinged a bit so I said “I’m not leaving you, I’m coming back” to which my MIL replied “she is leaving you, she’s a bad mum”. It was probably meant as a joke (maybe) but I’d never say anything like that, even as a joke. Probably being a bit over sensitive but I’m tired and constantly doubting if I even know what I’m doing. It’s bad enough thinking I’m a bad mum every day without somebody literally saying it. I spoke to my partner about it, both at the time and afterwards, and he’s said she was out of order… but not out of order to say anything to her but even if he did, she’d just deny it or say it was a joke. The worst part is she actually has no interest in my LG, she only wants to see her if her friends are round at her house and then she wants me to take baby round for her to show her off, who to me are just strangers. To add insult to injury, after she called me a bad mum, she said that her niece had a baby a month before me, and my LG “will probably catch her up when she’s ready” 🙄 Again, baring in mind, she’s seen my LG 3 times since she was born and she’s nearly 5 months old but has implied that she’s not developing as quickly as the other baby. I know babies develop at their own rate but my LG is rolling, trying to crawl, can sit up with very little support, can bring a spoon from a bowl to her mouth to feed herself (I’ve not given her any food, but we practiced with a spoon to see if she was showing any readiness to start weaning). I think she’s doing really well so I don’t think she needs to “catch up” 🙄
The cherry on top of the day was that we sat down to eat and she felt an appropriate topic to discuss was my partners upcoming colonoscopy and bowel prep 😂
I think the outcome and the 2 hours that she was here is that we won’t be seeing her again anytime soon, and I know that wouldn’t bother her in the slightest, which is quite sad when my LG is her first grandchild and she has no interest in her

That’s my little rant over