For abit of context I currently live with my Sikh in laws. During pregnancy my mother in law was lovely. After I gave birth it has been hell, throughout the whole of postpartum she disregarded my feelings, would just take the baby from me even if I said no, try to make decisions about my baby etc. I won’t ever leave her alone with my baby for other reasons. At the moment my baby is crawling and trying to stand and my MIL will block or isolate my baby in a small area and when my baby get frustrated because he just wants to learn my MIL picks him up and just sits him on her lap. I say every time put him down he doesn’t need to be held (my baby is usually fighting to get on the floor).
She will also say things like ‘bye mummy’ to my baby to imply that I need to leave but I don’t. She just tries to over step boundaries constantly or ignore me.
So for me to start correcting her and actually say something or ignore her comments now has taken me so long I felt so alone during postpartum because my husband would just say ‘she’s helping’ he has now realised that it isn’t help at all.
I cannot shake this feeling though that I can no longer stand her, I can’t stand to be-in the same room as her, everything she does with my baby just infuriates me.
I get dread when I come downstairs in the morning and the thought of having to interact. ( we are currently in the process of buying a house so I know it’s not forever) but I can’t seem to shake this feeling like I feel like I want to leave today and never return.
There is so much more but I would need to write a book on everything she has said/done to me since having a baby.
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Put down your own boundaries and stick to them. If she goes to pick them up tell her no. If she ‘isolates’ her move her back, if she says ‘bye mummy’ just sit there and ignore her. You’re giving her the power if you’re allowing this to go on. If you are already doing these things then there’s not much else you can do until you move just stick to your guns!
I do already do these things now, it took a lot of breaking me down until I finally snapped for me to get there but I’m still ignored :(