my son’s father and i aren’t together and he is only allowed to see our son for an hour a month (social services are involved, he’s not a good person at all) he also isn’t allowed any unsupervised contact with him until he turns 16.
i don’t receive child maintenance from him and i’m so against him as a person due to his past behaviours and actions that i find it very difficult to communicate with him regarding our son. he messages and calls me constantly but most of it is asking about me- where i am, what i’ve been up to, who i’m with, what my plans are tomorrow etc etc. he doesn’t seem to take much interest in our son.
my social worker has been very clear with me that i am in control and if i don’t want him in the picture that they can make that happen because he isn’t a good person and it truthfully would be easier for my son growing up if he just wasn’t there (he’s 2 months old)
how do i know when to turn around and say i don’t want him involved? because i feel like i’m letting my dislike for him take over
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
He's clearly not worried about y'all son so I would personally cut contact. Him asking you about your where abouts and who's around is alarming. Cut phone calls, texts only, ignore questions about you, let him know if it's not about y'all son you won't be responding. If he can't respect those boundaries cut him off.

You need to do what you feel is in the best interest for your son, but don’t forget you matter too. If socials are saying they can make it happen with him being removed from your son’s life I feel that speaks volumes. If you feel he is a threat or will create any issues for your son in any way, then personally if I was you, I would cut the contact. You can still claim CM even if he’s not involved, by law he has to pay. Whatever you decide to do, please do what YOU feel is best, and what YOU want. Don’t let anyone else try dictate and chose for you. As I’ve always said, a child deserves a happy mum over a sad mum X

Honestly take this from someone who had a shit dad & caused alot of pain in my life, no dad is better
Your baby is so little & if hes not a good person he shouldnt be around your baby. Plus it sounds mega confusing hes meeting a person for an hr he barely knows
Its not your actions that have caused his dad to not be in his life

If he doesn’t respect boundaries, then it might be safer to have more distance
My brother with 1 baby age 8 months gave me some potty training tips for my 2 year old when I said we were about to start.
Don’t get wrong, I would say “I read xyz..” and share information that way.
18
My baby has been going to nursery for two months now. She is so upset when I drop her off , she barely sleeping there and she seem like a shell of herself when we pick her up.
When we are off work and spend the day with her she is so happy all day.
I just wonder the nursery teachers says she has settled in really well. But I’m just unsure because in the end the nursery is a business and they make money of us.
So I feel unsure if they would be honest with us, if they thought the nursery isn’t suitable for my bby.
Has anyone got experience where the nursery told you it wasn’t working and the baby is un happy ? Or did you go on your own gut feeling?
Thank you
9
Hi ladies I'm just looking for an outside perspective because I'm driving myself crazy thinking this over. In the last year I have completed the last year of my masters, planned my wedding, looked after my 2 and 3 year old, been taking weekly driving lessons, been preparing my 3 year old for the nursery she had just started, lost a pet that was more like a fur baby, my father has reappeared in my life last week after 30 years and I've dealing with a strained relationship with my mum. My now husband has been pushing for us to move house and told me he wanted us to move 2 days before our wedding and 6 weeks before my master's deadlines. I told him at the time I wanted to wait until the beginning of next year because I felt overwhelmed already but eventually I caved and reluctantly agreed to go ahead. I know the reasons he wants to move and I agree, they mainly involve more space and a bigger room for our youngest. I've told him today I'm mentally exhausted and cannot commit to helping with the house selling/buying/moving process right now. This has angered him as he feels I have forced him into the decision of taking the house off the market, am I being unreasonable?

1
8
Am i being unreasonable? My partner has a cold, and didnt work yesterday, so i expected him to help with the baby so i could have an hour or two off (this was after he slept in till 1pm) he thinks that as hes the one who is ill i shouldnt be doing less than what i would on a normal day when hes at work so i shouldnt ask him to help, which i said i would be okay with if thats the same for when im ill, that i get to do nothing and rest, which is obviously not going to be the case and he basically said as much
He also believes if hes too ill to work hes too ill to look after the baby, which i dont agree with because she has to be looked after regardless if one or both of us is ill
If it was a serious illness it would be different, but its a cold
Please be honest if you think im unreasonable because i am on my period so maybe im over reacting a bit but just want advice
1
14
Just collected my son from nursery (where I also work but have now broken up for maternity) to find out that a colleague has been off today with the stomach bug but still sent her children in for a full day!
I'm furious as this particular colleague normally complains about parents sending in their children to "spread" the sick bug whilst they're at home and causing staff to become unwell. I'm also furious as she knows I'm so close to having my 2nd baby any day and one of her children is in the same room as my son! This colleague in the past has always gone on about how vulnerable newborns are but all of a sudden she is doing exactly what she moans about!
Part of me wants to message her and have a go but I know it's pointless 😭
I now feel that I've got to keep my son off nursery until at least a month after baby is born just to help protect us all, but I know they will still expect me to pay for his space!
Sorry to rant on here but it's safer than messaging work!
1
6
So my little one is teething. She’s getting two more teeth. Well I decided to keep her home today because you can tell she’s not feeling the best.
Yet my husband thinks I’m crazy for keeping her home.
My anxiety is so damn high because I feel like I’m failing at being a mom, a wife and an employee

1
4