Pregnancy and Friendships
I dont know if anyone had this happen to them but I have a friend who I thought was close but it doesnt seem to be the case since I told her of my pregnancy. She has never once messaged or call to ask how its going. In general she doesnt call and message rarely unless I message her.
I cant help but think that it comes across as cold of her because I have a friend from outside the uk who always message to ask how its going. I try to be patient and empathetic as she is self employed so I assume she has to make ends meet esoecially in this day and age.
However, she once told me a uni friend unfriended her on facebook and she believes her reason for that is that friend who was pregnant and became a mum herself wanted to be friends with other mums only. I sympathised but couldnt help but question if that was really the case by asking when was the last time she messaged or spoken to her.
She said when she became a mum this was more than 5 years ago. I asked when she met up with her in person. She didnt she last saw her in person at their graduation 7 or 8 years ago. I asked if the reason was for her being unfriended was because she got the impression that their friendship faded or ended.
My friend genuinely believe her reason was right but looking back at it now and the fact she didnt try to contact her to try to make amends when I suggested that. Now I feel like the same could happen to us. My friend in general has a very small social circle so I would feel bad plus I lost friends in the past as well. Even when I told her of my pregnancy her voice sounded flat. I did arrange a catch up call but shes delaying it and this friendship is feeling one way now.
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I’ve had this, with my sister it’s really difficult and I can’t understand how she doesn’t want to be my friend. Il be protecting mine and babies peace from now on. She’ll show up when he’s here and want to be included but she can think again x
I think it’s a little difficult when it comes to female friends and pregnancy etc.
From my own experience, a friend of mine got pregnant accidentally when I was in the absolute pits of infertility and I found it so difficult to find anything in common with her at the time because I selfishly was just thinking of my own struggles.
I did reach out to her every now and then and keep in touch but when baby was born I did semi ghost her. Since I’ve gone through IVF and am now pregnant I’ve reached out and apologised and explained where I was mentally but it hasn’t really mended our friendship per se which is fine, I take full responsibility for not being there for her when I should have.
Maybe your friend has things going on in her life/in her brain that are difficult for her to deal with right now.
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