Leaving the house

Hey! Would love some advice.

I am almost 8 weeks postpartum, and had a tricky delivery, being in and out the hospital for the first 3 weeks (due retained placenta after my c section- hospital f-up, and issues with shortness of breath- which was investigated and anything serious was ruled out)

My husband has been back at work since week 4 and i have not left the house. I won’t leave unless he or someone is with me. Not even for a short walk. I have been out for appointments, but always with someone.

There isn’t much to do locally and it’s not a very nice area to go for a walk in.

I have friends with babies slightly older who want to meet up outside, but that would mean driving and finding a place i feel comfortable unloading baby from the car and having somewhere i can comfortably breastfeed.

I honestly don’t know if this is normal or if i should be pushing myself more.

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I would start with making plans at someone else's house so you can get used to just leaving the house first but still ask them for a private place to nurse. Then gradually add on as you feel comfortable

Leaving the house with a newborn is tough. There's nothing wrong with taking it slow. You're still healing. Especially considering your complications. Don't be hard on yourself. You got this! 💗

Don't be hard on yourself!! I'm 11 weeks postpartum and still haven't left the house with baby on my own!
Take your time until you feel comfortable!! Next week will be 12 weeks and that is when I plan on going out.

It’s daunting going out by yourself at first! Don’t worry. Try something small like literally a 5 minute walk around the block to build up your confidence. Be honest with your friends and just say you’re not ready yet. You’ll get there

One step at a time but I promise you it gets so much easier everytime. It will help your confidence grow too. Could you start by driving to tesco go to a quiet bit of the car park even take baby out and in just to get used to it then maybe go in the shop the next time you will smash it and people are there if you need help you've got this x

I only felt comfortable + confident going out by myself at 11/12 weeks. Give yourself time, it will come x

I've been going to play groups at local churches, shopping and appointments from 2 weeks but I understand the anxiety. With my first that initial trip put alone was daunting. Felt like something to fragile was relying on me with so many unknowns. The more you do it the more confidence you get.

I find getting ready with a toddler and newborn almost impossible. Getting everyone dressed, washed, fed and toileted/changed at the same time is a battle. We rarely make it out before lunchtime!

Going on a nice car ride is usually great for newborns, but if your uncomfortable with anything dont feel pressured to do it. Being a mom is hard work and your friends will understand. If you do want to hang out try to do it more on your terms and come up with a happy medium with your friends for hangout ideas

Could you do public transport instead to get yourself out? Then slowly practice putting baby in car etc x

in our community

Am I overthinking?

Yesterday evening when getting my 20 months old boy ready for bath, I noticed 2 significant bruises on his lower back towards the bottom. He's been at the nursery all day and didn't have those bruises in the morning before dropping him off.

So of course some alarms start ringing in my head. I took pictures and sent them to the nursery asking what happened and how come I wasn't informed of the incident.

Their response was that nobody saw anything, little one was absolutely fine all day, didn't cry or anything so they're unsure how the bruising occurred. He was involved in normal activities like singing reading playing in the sand etc but nothing particularly stands out.

Tbh he had some small bruises in the past that again had gone unnoticed and their responses were the same.

Now I get that children can sustain accidental injuries and don't want to assume anything bad had happened, but I can't help it, my brain inevitably thinks that.

What would you do in this situation? Would you let it go? Would you escalate it further to ofsted maybe? Or am I simply overreacting?

P.s. little one is happy at the nursery and no longer cries at drop offs or pick ups.

How do you have time for anything?

Babies just turned 4 months. My OH works from home for himself mon-thurs (maybe 6 hours max a day) we have a toddler that goes to nursery tues-thurs and we get help from my MIL on Mondays. And even then, finding the time to clean/eat/wash clothes/walk dogs etc is impossible. How on earth do people do it?

I feel like I'm running on fumes and wanting to strangle my husband at the weekend for not pulling his weight.

What should I do?

So my partner brother and family are flying back to Poland for Christmas

My partner is wanting to go too for Christmas and he has said he’s going with or without me (I have no annual leave left and I don’t want to be away from my son for a week)

We went to Poland this summer and there was about 10 people in one house my son stopped eating and just cried the whole time we was there & I have raised these concerns and all I get is ‘I’m going with or without you’

I’m prepared to end my 9 year relationship with him if he does take him away when I have raised my concerns and said no he’s not going

I have said he can go before or after Christmas I just don’t want him going during Christmas my fav time of year and he knows I do all the bdays and Christmas plan it all out do all the presents get everything ready

It will honestly break me if he takes him

His mum and dad was over while my son was 4 weeks old……phones multiple times couldn’t get hold of him & he was gone for about 5/6hrs when he said he would he 1 - yes he’s apologised for this but he still did it

I don’t know what I can do🥲

I feel bad for hiding my disabled child from a new family my daughter has made friends with.

My twins are 5.5 years old. Last year a little boy named Omar was in their class and formed a close relationship with my daughter. They really care about each other. I was able to set up a playdate in the summer and have another one coming up. I only took my daughter last time because my son does ruin friendships for her. His needs are too high, he whines, he's annoying to others, he often makes is have to go home earlier than we wanted to because he cannot handle the environment. The mom knows I have two kids. I made an excuse not to bring him last time because I didn't want his sister to miss out on the fun activity and I wanted to be able to enjoy the outing also. Taking him could have made that impossible. We have lost friends repeatedly because of my sons behavior, crying ect. Am I a bad mom for wanting him to stay home so his sister can have this? or should I risk it and bring my son knowing there's a chance he won't behave well and his sister may never see this friend she values again?

Transition from sahm to putting kids in school - how did you do it?

My son is currently 3, will be 4 in October. We didn’t want to do two years of preschool so he’s not in school this year but I know next year I have to actually decide on if we put him in preschool or not and honestly it’s giving me so much anxiety. I’m a full time sahm so I’m with my kids 24/7. Our school in town only does full day preschool and since he’ll be the older preschool age range he will be going Monday/Wed/Fri from 8:30-2:30. The main reason I see preschool being beneficial is to ease my son into being away from me but with full school days basically I’m so nervous that it’s gonna be a hard transition for him. I also want him ti have the chance to meet other kids that would be in his class which is why I haven’t looked at preschool at other locations. My son is also a runner so I’m so nervous to put him in school and have him run away cause he’s scared. I’m not sure if it’s better to even wait another year and just skip preschool and put him right into kindergarten so he has another year to maybe be older so it won’t bother him as much to be away from me but idk.
I also know a lot of this is probably just that it’s hard for me to let them go out of my care and not being able to see what’s going on with him all the time scares me.

How do you other sahm become ok with school because I’m honestly really stressed about it and just need to hear from other moms I think.

I don't even know im tired and angry

Who else is a 24/7 mom? Because I really don't want your opinion unless you are one. We are a single income house with two children while we homeschool , and I get absolutely no time alone whatsoever unless you count being asleep alone , in which case I am woken at unnamable times by my toddler as they do. But I am going unimaginably, incredibly insane. I am tired of the constant whining,Crying, needing, and feeding.... anything you can think of a child would need I am the bitch for it. I'm not saying my husband isn't just as exhausted sometimes after he comes home from work, but he immediately sits down to play games or watch TV and gets instantly angry when the kids whine or cry or get too loud for him to be able to play his game or watch TV. And he is screaming and yelling at them. When I have been the one home with it all day and deal with it. 24/7 I don't even watch my own shows anymore. I can't remember the last time I picked up a physical book for myself or anything I actually enjoy that I didn't think twice and wonder if the kids needed something before I did.