Leaving the house

Hey! Would love some advice.

I am almost 8 weeks postpartum, and had a tricky delivery, being in and out the hospital for the first 3 weeks (due retained placenta after my c section- hospital f-up, and issues with shortness of breath- which was investigated and anything serious was ruled out)

My husband has been back at work since week 4 and i have not left the house. I won’t leave unless he or someone is with me. Not even for a short walk. I have been out for appointments, but always with someone.

There isn’t much to do locally and it’s not a very nice area to go for a walk in.

I have friends with babies slightly older who want to meet up outside, but that would mean driving and finding a place i feel comfortable unloading baby from the car and having somewhere i can comfortably breastfeed.

I honestly don’t know if this is normal or if i should be pushing myself more.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I would start with making plans at someone else's house so you can get used to just leaving the house first but still ask them for a private place to nurse. Then gradually add on as you feel comfortable

Avatar

Leaving the house with a newborn is tough. There's nothing wrong with taking it slow. You're still healing. Especially considering your complications. Don't be hard on yourself. You got this! 💗

Avatar

Don't be hard on yourself!! I'm 11 weeks postpartum and still haven't left the house with baby on my own!
Take your time until you feel comfortable!! Next week will be 12 weeks and that is when I plan on going out.

Avatar

It’s daunting going out by yourself at first! Don’t worry. Try something small like literally a 5 minute walk around the block to build up your confidence. Be honest with your friends and just say you’re not ready yet. You’ll get there

Avatar

One step at a time but I promise you it gets so much easier everytime. It will help your confidence grow too. Could you start by driving to tesco go to a quiet bit of the car park even take baby out and in just to get used to it then maybe go in the shop the next time you will smash it and people are there if you need help you've got this x

Avatar

I only felt comfortable + confident going out by myself at 11/12 weeks. Give yourself time, it will come x

Avatar

I've been going to play groups at local churches, shopping and appointments from 2 weeks but I understand the anxiety. With my first that initial trip put alone was daunting. Felt like something to fragile was relying on me with so many unknowns. The more you do it the more confidence you get.

I find getting ready with a toddler and newborn almost impossible. Getting everyone dressed, washed, fed and toileted/changed at the same time is a battle. We rarely make it out before lunchtime!

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Sex

Is it just me or does anyone else have major anxiety when it comes to their husband taking care of themselves in that way? I never really had this problem with any other partner but now I get upset thinking he might be doing things alone. He admitted to doing it in the shower while I was 1 week pp and I broke down sobbing. Before having baby I wanted it 24/7 and still kinda do but he didn’t need it as much as I did. I always felt self conscious about it and tried to not be as needy but after having the baby it seems like he wants it more but we have no time to do anything. I feel awful for getting upset when he takes care of himself but I get so anxious and feel not good enough. I tried explaining to him how I felt but it always ends in a fight. I feel defeated and now every time he showers or is away from me I think he’s doing it… help

Avatar

2

15

My in laws hate me

I had a falling out with my MIl earlier in the week and I’ve now discovered some horrible messages sent from her to my husband following this. Along the lines of that I’m controlling and that I’m from a broken home (I’m not) and that my previous mental health issues (an eating disorder that I’m 8 years recovered from) make me a certain way. She’s warned him to be careful of me. I’m so hurt, upset and angry. I can’t tell him that I’ve seen them but I don’t know what to do. We’ve been together 4 years and coming up to our first wedding anniversary with a 10 month old. The damage is done and I’ll never want anymore to do with them but how can we move forward when it is this broken and damaged. If his family now hate me. I’ve had a really tough week with my baby teething and I just want to walk out the front door and run away

Avatar

1

10

Do you let your close family (mom/grandmother/sister) take your child(ren) shopping?

I'm very close with my family, and I do trust them. But everytime I let someone take my 2.5yo shopping I just get this overwhelming anxiety... I just keep imagining someone taking my daughter and I can't get it out of my head... It takes over my whole brain and I can't do anything, I end up having to doom scroll or something to take my mind off it so I can function... I don't know if this is normal or not

Avatar

16

Am I being too sensitive?

It’s my birthday today. My husband reassured me he would let his work know in advance he needed to be working locally so he could be home at a decent time for my birthday. The plan was a day to myself & then go out for dinner with my husband.

He now isn’t due to be home until around 8pm due to working 2.5hrs away. This is all because he didn’t inform work he needed to be home at a reasonable hour, despite me reminding him multiple times this week.

I’m now unable to book my favourite restaurant in case he experiences travel delays (my anxiety means I have to always book just in case). I know this isn’t a huge issue, but I’m pregnant & I’m craving food from this particular restaurant so much (and I’ve had BAD food aversions to a lot of food)!!

I also told him I’m upset because I’m going to be alone all evening. He said I should see my friends, but I don’t have the energy to. My friends also don’t know I’m pregnant yet as we’re waiting until our 12 week scan tomorrow…so being around them would be impossible when I’m feeling rubbish!

I’ve been alone all day (which doesn’t bother me), but being alone basically most of the evening too just makes me feel rubbish. It’s even more annoying because it was completely preventable. My husband has apologised and said he didn’t think working where he was working today was going to cause problems, but I’m just mad he didn’t initially listen and speak to his office out of precaution.

Am I overreacting (maybe from pregnancy hormones lol) or would this annoy you too?

Avatar

1

8

Leaving the house

Hey! Would love some advice.

I am almost 8 weeks postpartum, and had a tricky delivery, being in and out the hospital for the first 3 weeks (due retained placenta after my c section- hospital f-up, and issues with shortness of breath- which was investigated and anything serious was ruled out)

My husband has been back at work since week 4 and i have not left the house. I won’t leave unless he or someone is with me. Not even for a short walk. I have been out for appointments, but always with someone.

There isn’t much to do locally and it’s not a very nice area to go for a walk in.

I have friends with babies slightly older who want to meet up outside, but that would mean driving and finding a place i feel comfortable unloading baby from the car and having somewhere i can comfortably breastfeed.

I honestly don’t know if this is normal or if i should be pushing myself more.

Avatar

1

7

1 month old - what should we be doing daily?

My son is about 4.5 weeks old. Most days he just sleeps on my chest most of the day, which I am okay with but I don't want to miss out on anything we should be doing. My son gets overwhelmed very easily so we usually do one "activity" a day max right now (such as bath, long walk, or having visitors). We do tummy time at least every other day, try to do every day. I read to him, sing to him, and of course talk to him. Is there anything else ya'll are doing with your LOs?

Avatar

1

10

Read more on Peanut