Guilt

So sorry he's been tough tonight! You are clearly exhausted and shouting at that stage happens. Try to give yourself grace. He won't remember, he loves you so much.
Maybe next time try setting him down somewhere safe while you do some breaths (even if he cries the whole time).its so difficult when you're in the thick of it.
Hope you manage to get some sleep

Mamma dont feel bad. Weve all been there. Just take a breather and try again. You got this!❤️❤️

I have had a night this before. It’s like the PP rage just takes over and I don’t realise I’ve shouted until after I’ve done it. I feel this wave of guilt and regret over me. But like you my husband works away so the days at nights are twice as hard. When it happens I feel like don’t deserve her. I hate bringing her into bed too as I get really anxious about it too. We have all been there and you’re not alone.

I hope you’re okay mama. Be kind to yourself. This is all so normal and part of pp. I’ve been there too. My husband is only away once a week but my god it’s hard so I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. Hang in there, you’re doing an amazing job xxx

You can safely co-sleep. Set up a safe space next to you and make sure you sleep as well. It’s so important that you get some rest. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Have a look at the lullaby trust site for advice.
It’s better to knowingly co-sleep then accidentally fall asleep when you’re not planning to.

As for shouting, we all do it. You don’t love your child any less. We’re tired and overstimulated. We can only take so much.

Be kind to yourself!!