RANT!! MIL & Partner
My partner told me that his mum called him and said our child is turning four and she feels like she’s never had her, whereas my family have. That’s not really true—apart from one time this year when our daughter stayed overnight at my mum’s because my partner had booked us a surprise one-night getaway, my family don’t have her regularly. My mum lives 40 minutes away, so contact is mostly FaceTime, and the only other family nearby is my gran, who lives about 10 minutes away.
My MIL originally asked to have our daughter on Tuesday, which I agreed to. She then changed it to Saturday, but I said no because we already had plans. She got upset, moaned, and said she’d just have her Tuesday then.
I told my partner that I don’t need anyone to look after our child. If I did, I would ask. I manage everything myself—I even take her with me to my brow appointments. Realistically, my MIL wouldn’t have her anyway because she works.
My partner then got angry and started shouting at me, saying that I often tell him our child hasn’t been listening or has been a handful, and that he’s tired of hearing it. He said I should just let his mum have her. He also said his mum is better suited to look after her than my family, and said my family are trampy and they can’t look after children properly. After that, he went upstairs, kicked some boxes on the landing, and said he was done with me🤯
The truth is, I don’t want anyone to have my child. I don’t feel I need the help, and if I ever did, I would ask. God forbid a mother can have a little rant to their partner if she’s had a stressful day with their child!😣
Am I being paranoid or gaslit?
I feel like I am being constantly gaslit by my husband over things that to me, should be common sense, but to him I’m “being dramatic” and “he won’t do that”
For example our son has just started crawling, we already have a baby gate at the top of the stairs but I want one for the bathroom door too because the actual door we have doesn’t shut properly and I don’t want him going in there and playing with the toilet brush and stuff like that, my husband said I was being stupid and “why would he do that he’s not stupid” and he thinks we should only have a gate at the top of the stairs and that’s it and any more I’m being obsessive about them, I also want one over the kitchen and bottom of stairs but again apparently that’s too much!
Another example I told him he has to turn his extension lead off at the wall now baby is crawling because I don’t want him to chew the phone charger or play with the sockets etc, he told me I was being ridiculous and “nothing will happen to him stop being paranoid”
Earlier I caught him texting while he was bathing our son and I said he needs to keep his hands and eyes on him at all times in the bath and he told me I was being paranoid again.
There’s been a few other digs here and there but these are the most recent ones. It’s making me worry when I have to leave my baby with him incase he’s not taking his safety seriously like why isn’t he thinking of all the potential dangers the way that I do all the time?
I have post partum anxiety which he knows about and sometimes I think he uses this against me.
Ranting about great grandparent walking off with my pram
My grandma and myself havent had the best relationship over the years. Ive seen her once a year for a couple hours at christmas for about 10 years. Due to living away and also not prioritising the relationship when I visited. Shes a very pushy, sobby woman. Shes also obsessed with babies and in particular girls, and is quite sexist
I moved back home just before i gave birth. Since I gave birth (im a single mother) she has helped me out alot, but im starting to realise her "helping" is actually for access to my baby and her needs more than anything else.
Shes taken me shopping a couple times and suggests I push the trolley "coz i know what I want" and shell push my 2 month old baby girl. I have agreed as I thought its nice shes helping and thats fine.
The other day when we went shopping, we went to go down an aisle, she quickly turned around and said "one second, ive jusr seen something " and went to walk down a different aisle with my baby. I naturally turned my trolley and walked next to her and she got flustered and said "oh I suppose you can come", making me feel i had to justify why I followed and I said "well were shopping together". We walked on and she then there was nothing she saw so she said "i had just seen my friend and I was going to show her the baby, just to show her the baby". I didnt eay anything as im not myself around her or comfortable.
So this 75 year old woman, tried to sneak off with my 2 month old and then decided herself to try and find her friend and introduce my baby to her on her own, as she clearly wanted to look like she was pushing my baby alone around the shop. All for hef own self importance.
I have since texted her and explained this wasnt okay, it caused me anxiety, im not ready to be seperated from my baby, particularly in public, as well as she should have asked me if she wanted to "show her" to her friend.
Im really fuming about it and cant believe she thinks shes okay to do that.
Do you think im over reacting?
She has since apologised and said it won't happen again and she didnt mean to cause distress, but its absolutely shocking in my opinion she thinks she has a right to do that.
What do you think?
