RANT!! MIL & Partner

My partner told me that his mum called him and said our child is turning four and she feels like she’s never had her, whereas my family have. That’s not really true—apart from one time this year when our daughter stayed overnight at my mum’s because my partner had booked us a surprise one-night getaway, my family don’t have her regularly. My mum lives 40 minutes away, so contact is mostly FaceTime, and the only other family nearby is my gran, who lives about 10 minutes away.
My MIL originally asked to have our daughter on Tuesday, which I agreed to. She then changed it to Saturday, but I said no because we already had plans. She got upset, moaned, and said she’d just have her Tuesday then.

I told my partner that I don’t need anyone to look after our child. If I did, I would ask. I manage everything myself—I even take her with me to my brow appointments. Realistically, my MIL wouldn’t have her anyway because she works.

My partner then got angry and started shouting at me, saying that I often tell him our child hasn’t been listening or has been a handful, and that he’s tired of hearing it. He said I should just let his mum have her. He also said his mum is better suited to look after her than my family, and said my family are trampy and they can’t look after children properly. After that, he went upstairs, kicked some boxes on the landing, and said he was done with me🤯

The truth is, I don’t want anyone to have my child. I don’t feel I need the help, and if I ever did, I would ask. God forbid a mother can have a little rant to their partner if she’s had a stressful day with their child!😣

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We are allowed to feel like we have it handled and also to have a little moan after a tough day or even a rough hour. Those 2 things can exist together. I'm in a similar position, I don't ever really feel the need to ask for help and neither side ever really has my son without me. That doesn't mean there aren't hard times and yes they say it takes a village and 100% should lean on family if needed but there's also nothing wrong with managing without help and as your partner you 100% should be able to share the hard moments and the good without judgement

She doesn’t have to look after your little one or give you a break, it can simply be about spending time together.
It’s also not great that he judged your family. That said, it’s understandable that he wants his mum to have a relationship with your child too.

Why are MILs always desperate to look after the child without the mother around? Drives me nuts. Mine has got a Moses basket for my child. The child wont even fit in the Moses basket by the time I will even think about letting her stay there overnight. I love being a mother and doing everything for her - why would I want to ship her off for the night for someone else to look after her? Stand your ground. You’ve had a baby for you. Not for your MIL. Silly cow. And yo ur partner is a shit for not sticking up for you. I don’t know why these men have no spines when it comes to boundaries and their families

How old is baby? And i think he is frustrated because he wants his child to have time and relationship with his side of family and thats normal he feels that. But how he handled it and tried to justify it was immature. If he felt those things he could have talkt o you about it. Lol. But if u trust the gma them allow her to spend some time with grand baby. A baby having a tribe is a good thing.

I don’t think it’s a case of needing help I think close family just like the time to bond with the child as well. Unfortunately I find some parents really bubble wrap kids to the point they don’t actually like staying anywhere else when it’s good for them to have time with family also

in our community

What’s wrong with me?

My marriage has been struggling for years now. I just had another baby after falling for the lies and promises of change from an absent husband and poor excuse of a father to my children.
I’m left alone with 3 children to manage the house, the kids the meals the cleaning the shopping the drop offs and everything in between. I go days without showering or having to hold my toilet with no support as I cannot leave a newborn with toddlers. I’ve made adjustments like a bouncer in the bathroom and chairs in every room so baby is just glued to my hip 24.7 if I’m lucky enough to have a shower it’s with my baby watching me usually screaming. I used to have hobbies, dreams. I’ve tried filing for divorce, it’s a long story but for right now I’m stuck where I am.
I have just 1 friend and other than my mother no other form of support. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who the person is staring back at me. I fill with anger and rage and I want to damage something. I’m the worse version of myself and feel like I’m failing my children just moving from one day to the next. I’m not the person that looks like they struggle. I’m the person everyone turns to for help and advice when in reality I’m falling apart at the seams. A fresh blow dry, a blazer and heels and a fake smile. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors
I don’t need advice or medication I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Need to vent

I’m sick to death of having to remind my partner to do things for me e.g wash the bottles/sterilise whilst I’m asleep as he works nights so when he gets in that’s one of his jobs but funnily enough I’ll wake the next morning to them still in the washing up bowl and all I’ll get when he wakes up is ‘I’m so sorry I forgot’
I just feel sometimes I’m overreacting over the smallest things but I do literally everything for him as well as look after our boy on my own 90% of the time.
He gets frustrated when he can’t get the baby to sleep and asks me to take over which I will always do but I don’t get that option I just have to deal with it?

Also I didn’t get anything for my first Mother’s Day lol and feel like I let him off easily but when these little things happen it just makes me think does he actually care about me?

Am I just being a hormonal pyscho?

Weening

I’m a chef by trade but never for a baby 😂 ok so I’ve been weening my daughter since 4 months old she’s had purées and has been smashing them since the first day, for her 6 month “half birthday” we made her a whole stake and she’s refused to touch the purées since, I ordered a baby cook book but it’s only got recipes for 10 months plus. Best solid foods to give my 6 month old? She won’t even eat the fruit purees anymore the stake has turned her savage 😂 thank you all! Xx

hobbies

what are your guys hobbies i literally have no interests at this point i just completely lost my sense of self does anyone else feel like this?

Overstepping in-laws or am I crazy?

I live with my fiancés parents as my brother is severely autistic so we couldn’t stay there, we are both 20 for reference and are looking for the right house for us to buy. My in laws will come and take her (my baby) in the middle of night without telling us and don’t see a problem with it, when I go to find my baby I often find her grandad naked in bed with her doing skin to skin and it makes me feel sick. I’m sure I’m probably over reacting and it’s a nice thing but it makes me so uncomfortable and when I brought it up to my partner I was told to leave it. Unfortunately they seem to think MY baby is theirs and it’s really stressing me out. They both keep making comments awww looks she can’t tell who her proper parents are, and “ oh grandma is just as much of a mum to her as you are” and honestly I’m starting to go down a hole of post natal depression and I just want to go back home to my family.

I wanted to throw the pancakes right in his face 😐

It finally hit me that my husband is very unappreciative of the things I do around here. Especially when it comes to meals. I do all the grocery shopping, meal prepping, cooking said meals, clearing the table, putting away leftovers, AND doing the dishes after. Last night I made shrimp po’boys & sweet potato fries & even added catfish to his per his request. Took me about an hour & a half to get everything ready. Fed the kids & made his plate. Went upstairs to change our 19 month old. Came back to eat my food (which was pretty much cold at this point). I wasn’t met with a “thank you for making dinner tonight” or “I really liked xyz.” Only a “here’s 3 things I would have done differently” and lists 3 things about he food he would change. And im sitting there like 😐low key wanting to knock everything off the table but I let him finish and I continued to eat my food in silence. This morning after being up kinda late trying to get our little one to sleep, I still managed to get up early to make breakfast for everyone. I cook and lay out all the food on the table. He comes down stairs and makes a kinda disgusted face & says “why did you make the pancakes so light?” 🫠🫠🫠🫠 not good morning or thank you for making breakfast. But why. did. you. make. the. pancakes. so. light 😐😐😐😐 I wanted to throw the pancakes dead in his face. I told him he could put them in the oven if they’re too light and now he’s giving me the silent treatment. Wtf.