Ranting about great grandparent walking off with my pram
My grandma and myself havent had the best relationship over the years. Ive seen her once a year for a couple hours at christmas for about 10 years. Due to living away and also not prioritising the relationship when I visited. Shes a very pushy, sobby woman. Shes also obsessed with babies and in particular girls, and is quite sexist
I moved back home just before i gave birth. Since I gave birth (im a single mother) she has helped me out alot, but im starting to realise her "helping" is actually for access to my baby and her needs more than anything else.
Shes taken me shopping a couple times and suggests I push the trolley "coz i know what I want" and shell push my 2 month old baby girl. I have agreed as I thought its nice shes helping and thats fine.
The other day when we went shopping, we went to go down an aisle, she quickly turned around and said "one second, ive jusr seen something " and went to walk down a different aisle with my baby. I naturally turned my trolley and walked next to her and she got flustered and said "oh I suppose you can come", making me feel i had to justify why I followed and I said "well were shopping together". We walked on and she then there was nothing she saw so she said "i had just seen my friend and I was going to show her the baby, just to show her the baby". I didnt eay anything as im not myself around her or comfortable.
So this 75 year old woman, tried to sneak off with my 2 month old and then decided herself to try and find her friend and introduce my baby to her on her own, as she clearly wanted to look like she was pushing my baby alone around the shop. All for hef own self importance.
I have since texted her and explained this wasnt okay, it caused me anxiety, im not ready to be seperated from my baby, particularly in public, as well as she should have asked me if she wanted to "show her" to her friend.
Im really fuming about it and cant believe she thinks shes okay to do that.
Do you think im over reacting?
She has since apologised and said it won't happen again and she didnt mean to cause distress, but its absolutely shocking in my opinion she thinks she has a right to do that.
What do you think?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Keep away from things that stress u or the baby out x
personally, if she’s done it multiple times already, she’s not going to drop the habit. she doesn’t respect the fact that YOU are mum, she seems to want to have control over a baby that isn’t hers. she’s had her time to be a mum with a baby and get all the attention, as a great grandparent she needs to know when to step back. if you’re not comfortable with her and the relationship was strained before, i honestly think i’d go no contact. obviously up to you completely but you don’t deserve to feel like anyone is trying to take over as a mum to your baby x
I can understand why you are upset .
I also think it's probably a grandma who is just excited to show off her grandchild. And, probably make her feel good in the process cos 'OMG look how cute she issss!'
I know you mentioned that you have/had a strained relationship and obviously you know the full details of that.
Personally, if she's apologised, I'd accept it but continue to enforce your boundaries.If shopping's not working tho,see her another way.
My grandparents and I never had much of a relationship due to them and my parents falling out when I was a child. Unless your child is not safe, not cared for, put in harms way, I would try to keep relationships with family civil to protect your children's relationships
Possibly yeh
You know her best and what her true intentions were . That's just my outsider perspective.
I think sometimes we can think the worst when it comes to our kids, I know I'm the same x
Trending
in our community
Vent session
My child’s father makes me feel so small. He barely does his part but somehow takes moments to make me feel like nothing. I don’t currently drive due to PTSD but I promise I want to start back and know I have to get past it. At this time, he drives our son to school and picks him up. Any chance he gets he tells everyone it’s been so hard on him and tells his bosses and his bosses always respond like “what type of mother doesnt drive.” …. Just always applauding him and saying they feel bad for him. Y’all I do EVERYTHING. Taking our son to school is all he does. Minimum help with finances, doesn’t do anything around the house, nothing. Just plays video games, watches tv, drinks and naps. At this point. I’m ready to be done. Today was the last straw with him making me feel small over driving. I’m gonna get myself together and never look back. He better hope I don’t drive the hell away from him for good.
5
3
Am I overthinking?
Yesterday evening when getting my 20 months old boy ready for bath, I noticed 2 significant bruises on his lower back towards the bottom. He's been at the nursery all day and didn't have those bruises in the morning before dropping him off.
So of course some alarms start ringing in my head. I took pictures and sent them to the nursery asking what happened and how come I wasn't informed of the incident.
Their response was that nobody saw anything, little one was absolutely fine all day, didn't cry or anything so they're unsure how the bruising occurred. He was involved in normal activities like singing reading playing in the sand etc but nothing particularly stands out.
Tbh he had some small bruises in the past that again had gone unnoticed and their responses were the same.
Now I get that children can sustain accidental injuries and don't want to assume anything bad had happened, but I can't help it, my brain inevitably thinks that.
What would you do in this situation? Would you let it go? Would you escalate it further to ofsted maybe? Or am I simply overreacting?
P.s. little one is happy at the nursery and no longer cries at drop offs or pick ups.
16
How do you have time for anything?
Babies just turned 4 months. My OH works from home for himself mon-thurs (maybe 6 hours max a day) we have a toddler that goes to nursery tues-thurs and we get help from my MIL on Mondays. And even then, finding the time to clean/eat/wash clothes/walk dogs etc is impossible. How on earth do people do it?
I feel like I'm running on fumes and wanting to strangle my husband at the weekend for not pulling his weight.
2
7
What should I do?
So my partner brother and family are flying back to Poland for Christmas
My partner is wanting to go too for Christmas and he has said he’s going with or without me (I have no annual leave left and I don’t want to be away from my son for a week)
We went to Poland this summer and there was about 10 people in one house my son stopped eating and just cried the whole time we was there & I have raised these concerns and all I get is ‘I’m going with or without you’
I’m prepared to end my 9 year relationship with him if he does take him away when I have raised my concerns and said no he’s not going
I have said he can go before or after Christmas I just don’t want him going during Christmas my fav time of year and he knows I do all the bdays and Christmas plan it all out do all the presents get everything ready
It will honestly break me if he takes him
His mum and dad was over while my son was 4 weeks old……phones multiple times couldn’t get hold of him & he was gone for about 5/6hrs when he said he would he 1 - yes he’s apologised for this but he still did it
I don’t know what I can do🥲
5
I feel bad for hiding my disabled child from a new family my daughter has made friends with.
My twins are 5.5 years old. Last year a little boy named Omar was in their class and formed a close relationship with my daughter. They really care about each other. I was able to set up a playdate in the summer and have another one coming up. I only took my daughter last time because my son does ruin friendships for her. His needs are too high, he whines, he's annoying to others, he often makes is have to go home earlier than we wanted to because he cannot handle the environment. The mom knows I have two kids. I made an excuse not to bring him last time because I didn't want his sister to miss out on the fun activity and I wanted to be able to enjoy the outing also. Taking him could have made that impossible. We have lost friends repeatedly because of my sons behavior, crying ect. Am I a bad mom for wanting him to stay home so his sister can have this? or should I risk it and bring my son knowing there's a chance he won't behave well and his sister may never see this friend she values again?
1
26
Transition from sahm to putting kids in school - how did you do it?
My son is currently 3, will be 4 in October. We didn’t want to do two years of preschool so he’s not in school this year but I know next year I have to actually decide on if we put him in preschool or not and honestly it’s giving me so much anxiety. I’m a full time sahm so I’m with my kids 24/7. Our school in town only does full day preschool and since he’ll be the older preschool age range he will be going Monday/Wed/Fri from 8:30-2:30. The main reason I see preschool being beneficial is to ease my son into being away from me but with full school days basically I’m so nervous that it’s gonna be a hard transition for him. I also want him ti have the chance to meet other kids that would be in his class which is why I haven’t looked at preschool at other locations. My son is also a runner so I’m so nervous to put him in school and have him run away cause he’s scared. I’m not sure if it’s better to even wait another year and just skip preschool and put him right into kindergarten so he has another year to maybe be older so it won’t bother him as much to be away from me but idk.
I also know a lot of this is probably just that it’s hard for me to let them go out of my care and not being able to see what’s going on with him all the time scares me.
How do you other sahm become ok with school because I’m honestly really stressed about it and just need to hear from other moms I think.
11
Download the Peanut App
