Is my husband thick or an *rse
I have to rant 😭
We have been together for years but I feel like since we had a baby things have taken a really awful turn, or maybe it was always like this but now having a baby has highlighted things. Is it just me that sees it?
I’ll try and bullet point or it will be a essay
-I’m expected to do all the night wakes even though I also work (granted I only work 3days but they are long days and need some mental clarity for my job)
- If I say I would like a lay in it’s “wow you only work 3 days” “you lay in everyday your not at work” Yes I do try and lay in if little one is laying in (it’s usually because she’s been up most the night)
- he walked out on mutiple jobs when she was born “because it wasn’t his dream job/wasn’t happy” which ment I had to go back to work when she was really little and put a massive financial strain on us the last year, draining all my savings I saved for maternity leave
- He organises nights out/meals out with friends and expects me to stay home or go and be taxi, He’s even asked me to pick him up saying just put her in the car and pick me up in middle of the night, most the time now he suddenly tries to stay over at friends houses without even mentioning it before hand meaning me being left all night to have baby
Yet if I even go out for couple hours I constantly get asked when I’m back how long I will be even though I always leave a clear plan of what’s happening and when I’ll be home
- he can “have a night out and stay out all night as I go Zumba for an hour every week “😅
- If he’s “looking after her” while I’m doing chores or cooking he just puts the tv on and doesn’t watch her he’s either playing on his phone or games and now she’s walking/crawling I’m constantly shouting saying can you actually watch her, and I have said multiple times tv is a last resort for us as I want to encourage independent play or playing with us
- he makes horrible little comments like imagine doing that as a single parent or I feel like your going to divorce me which makes me think he knows he’s being terrible?
- He’ll try to put off feeding her dinner because he “doesn’t want to clean her up or the mess”
- Doesn’t do bed time as playing his games or watching tv and if I just ask he gets super pissed and just says give her your boob (she was breast fed but now I only breast feed in the night to keep nights easier)
- I also said about working extra Saturdays as these are my busiest work days (hairdresser) as currently just do every other and he flat out said “no because then I’ll have to have her every Saturday” “what’s our family time” yet we spend most Saturdays with his friends anyways or I’m home with the baby because he’s with his friends
I just feel like he isn’t interested in her or me basically and hes just being really lazy with parenting, I’m so mentally drained from explaining how to do basic stuff and doing everything it’s now starting to take its toll on me as a parent.
I try to stop doing everything but it always comes back on me because it just doesn’t get done even when I say can you do this for me and I then have to do it because it needs doing or I’m fed up of asking thousand times
Rant over 😭
AITA?
So my bf (30m) and I (26f) have 2 kids (5 years and 1 yr). He barely helps me (changes 1 diaper a week, doesn’t cook dinner, doesn’t drive, doesn’t support me or the kids emotionally or spiritually, etc.) So today I’m exhausted I homeschool and I just lost my job a few weeks ago so I’m actively job searching (my career is done remotely). He bought food earlier for himself and our 5 year old because I had a lactation appt with my son and then we had mommy and me story time where they provided food. Then I came home and he told me he’d order some food for dinner. So I didn’t cook anything. It’s past dinner time like 8pm and I’m like where’s the food and he goes “I’m not ordering nothing I buy food for lunch everyday since you don’t cook me food for lunch.” And now I’m irritated because I coulda took some meat out since everything is frozen I don’t have anything to feed our daughter right now. I got mad and told him leave me alone I need some alone time I didn’t wanna take my anger out on anyone in the house. Instead of giving me space he forced our 5 year old to stay in the room with me knowing I need space and then gets in the shower. Then after he gets in he gets dressed and comes in here trying to tickle me and gets aggressive when I tell him to stop picks me up throws me on the bed which I hurt my leg then he calls me fragile and tells our daughter to tickle me while I’m in pain so I get even more mad and tell her not to and to stop she doesn’t listen because she thinks I’m playing. So now it’s 11pm, my child still hasn’t eaten, and my leg hurts. I’m just so tired of his toxic ass bs.
On top of this, he’s a 50/50 type person so even though I have barely any income he wants me to pay half the rent $900, car payment and insurance $500, utilities $85, as well as personal expenses and things for the kids. I get food stamps so I don’t worry about that but there’s days when I’m just exhausted and don’t feel like cooking. He refuses to help or he says “I work 11 hours m-f” which btw he’s a security guard so he literally sits on his ass on his phone or he’s walking around doing nothing.
