Boundaries

For context i have a shit tone if siblings and i'm right in the middle so i have older siblings with their own kids and younger siblings that are still minors and live with my parents.

Anyways, my mother and I got into a fight recently because she doesn't like that we don't let ALL 5 of her kids hold our daughter (7 months) every time we visit and that we pick 1 or 2 of them each time who get to hold her, this way she's not being passed around and helps keep her from getting sick. she also doesn't like that she can't kiss her and that if they put the TV on we take her out of the room. She basically straight up told me that if she babysits at her house she will not honor any of these boundaries and that she "has to deal with the tears after we visit" because the kids apparently cry that they didn't get to hold her? I responded by saying "she's not a babydoll. if the kids cry about it and you don't wanna deal we just won't visit" and we haven't spoken since. this was about a week ago.

Now easter is on sunday and my siblings want us to go and we are debating if we should go or not for their sakes or hold to the boundary of not visiting. advice?

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Hold your boundaries! If you don’t they are just gonna think it’s ok to push those boundaries every time. If she’s not gonna respect what yall have put in place for your baby I wouldn’t go back for a while. That’s just me tho do what you feel is best for u and your baby

It might be worth talking to your siblings directly. Explain why you don’t want everyone to hold your baby (so she doesn’t get sick, so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed, etc.). Then just tell them that if they are going to make a fuss because they can’t all hold baby every visit that no one is going to hold baby when you visit to make it fair. Babywear if you can so no one tries to swoop in and take her.

Stick to your boundaries! I’m the oldest of 4, all of my siblings and my mom are very respectful of everything my husband and I have set for our daughter because we have been adamant about it. If you bend, even just a little, that will turn into exactly what you don’t want it to. My mom tried to kiss our newborn the day we brought her home from the nicu “just on the back of the head” and I was very vocal about the fact that we know you love her, but it’s not necessary at all. And we havent had an issue since. She has also told me that she wont follow our rules as far as food/screen time is concerned and i told her if that was true then she just didnt have to watch her 🤷🏻‍♀️ you can always stick to your boundary and still be nice about it! Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting and loving your child!

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