Is this fair?
Back story I booked a holiday last year with my mum&her sister for this month.
With everything going on in my life (chronic health, war & possibly about to lose my job in May (redundancies in company) so bill/housing stresses which she knows all this) I’m not in a good frame of mind, my stress is through the roof & this massively affects my health as I’m having more joint flare ups & have been pretty much house bound in recent weeks,
I asked last month to cancel the holiday or reschedule it to a later date, at the time they changed the holiday but only by six weeks to end of May and I still don’t feel up to going next month, I’ve put my foot down for once and said tonight I would not like to go & asked would they still go together (cause there both in there 50s flown for over 30years they don’t need me to go, everything is booked/sorted it’s all inclusive etc)
I’m now currently being guilt tripped by my mum (my aunty hasn’t said anything yet)saying they can’t do boarding passes without me, they don’t do technology, they wouldn’t be able to navigate finding the hotel(coach would drop them off), how unfair I’m being to my son (he’s 3 has no clue about the holiday), how different I’m acting and implying they would have to cancel indefinitely and also lose 50% of payment cause it’s a late cancellation…
They 100% could still go, my mum even moved abroad when she was in her late 20s she has flown a lot more then me and she’s making me feel bad for respectfully not wanting to go and put my health first and she’s saying it’s just not like me…,like I want to be in pain & cancelling a nice holiday, my partner thinks I should just remove my seat now cause he thinks my mum is very entitled & only thinks about her own wants, I’d understand if I cancelled leaving my mum alone but she would have her sister with her, is this fair?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
If it’s already paid for then why not just go? I wouldn’t feel guilty about not going and your reasons are valid but It might give you the break you need.
I think it’s fair that you don’t want to go and you shouldn’t feel pressured into going, that being said I think it’s fair that they feel let down. I understand that they could still go etc but would they have booked the holiday for just them if you had never been part of the plans? They wanted to do the holiday knowing that you’d be there to help them so I ca understand their point. Nevertheless things happen unexpectedly and you haven’t made this choice maliciously, I’m sure you’d also like to be in a better place and to have been able to go and enjoy it. Stand by your decision but don’t be upset that they also have their own feelings about it x
I think a holiday sounds like a great idea right now, it's all booked and sorted. The getting away from everything could be just what you need for a re set and to just relax about what's going on at home
I think it’s fair you don’t want to go as much as a holiday would be lovely there are always extra costs and if you are already stressed and have made that decision that’s your choice. As you say there’s nothing stopping them and guilt tripping you is what’s not fair.
This is definitely a learning experience for them to find the courage to navigate this on their own lol and it's as easy as asking for help at these places
Download the Peanut App
