Just Confused š
BD said he didnt want to go to couples therapy before we broke up. He said i need to go to therapy because I have the issues and he doesn't have any. Definitely not the case from my perspective on him. But okay whatever I accepted it.
Fast forward 2 months he says do you want to go to couples therapy? Im like what changed your mind? š¤ He says let's try to get our family back together. I jokingly said maybe we'll go to therapy. But mind you I've ever only heard a no from him. Maybe i said the joke to be petty, to not just give in to him or maybe im in a different mindset now that its been 2 months and i have a regular routine. To say the least it was a shock.
But then I told him I was joking I would go and see how it goes. I think I hurt his feelings probably when I originally said maybe. Now he recently said I don't think therapy will work. We should leave things as it is. This confused me and made me a little upset because a little part of me did want to go and just see whats up. Can we salvage a relationship or not. Its just annoying him going back and forth in my opinion.
Ugh just venting.
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Girlā¦ I would be confused too š heās literally going back and forth and thatās not fair to you. First he says YOU need therapy and he doesnāt, then suddenly he wants couples therapy, then backs out again??
Honestly it kinda feels like he only wants it when he feels ready or when he thinks he might lose you, but not when it actually matters for both of you.
Also donāt blame yourself for saying āmaybeā youāre allowed to hesitate when someone has been saying no this whole time.
Let him make the appointment with the understanding you will be happy to go with him if he makes the appointment. Otherwise, don't hold your breath.
Without more context about the ins and outs of your relationship, there isnāt much advice I can really give. He most likely back tracked on the therapy because when he was being sincere about it, you made a joke about it. So maybe in his mind, youāre not serious about trying to fix your relationship. It doesnāt sound like thatās the case, but could be what he is feeling. Only you can decide if you can salvage the relationship. I donāt think there any type of therapy that wonāt work in some way. Thereās an app called āPaired.ā Itās where you both download the app and do different things to help your relationship grow, evolve and to just get a better understanding of each other. Maybe be worth a shot to look into.
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