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First time mums

Just sharing my experiece

Hi! I thought id share my experience, mostly to get it off my chest a little bit. In 2024 at 6 weeks pregnant with my 1st and only child, i was told id miscarried as a Doctor hovered over me in A&E. I was beside myself and felt id failed at the first hurdle. 2 days later, i was told the baby was still present and a heartbeat was found. I just didnt know what to think with a rollercoaster of emotions. Am i happy to still have my baby or sad at the prospect something could be wrong?

Fast forward and id soon learn i had a hemorrage of the womb, fibroids and battling all the lovely (NOT!) symptoms of pregnancy including piles and projectile vomiting.

At 28 weeks sitting with my midwife, i was told i had PIH pregnancy induced hypertension and needed to get down to triage immediately as my BP was higher than normal for a pregnant woman. This would open up a can of worms. As i sat in the taxi crying i thought id made the biggest mistake in getting pregnant. Days went by and i found myself as an inpatient for days/nights, constantly connected to wires and BP machines attached to me and also checking the baby. Each day was a challenge to remain positive as i sat wondering what Year i will get home.
And... at last... my worst fear PIH had now become Preeclampsia, according to my notes it was stated as severe despite me feeling fine, just battling swollen feet which was a symptom and not the warm weather as id hoped!!

At 33 weeks my body was failing me and also my baby and after a growth scan they were now concerned the placenta was causing more issues to the baby than good!!! It was then a C section was now my only option to save the pair of us.
At 33 weeks my hospital couldnt house my unborn child so i was moved to another hospital about 20 miles away. This caused unbelievable stress and anxiety, it was the last place i wanted to be after spending a good month in my original Hospital

After 48 hours in my new bed, my baby was delivered. My BP was off the scale and no medication was going to save me. He was born at 4lbs and needed O2 in NICU and found hiself in an incubator and on close monitoring

Despite the operation going incredibly well, my body once again began to fail me and i thought this.time i would die. My body from the waist down was temporarily paraylsed by Oedema and i couldnt be moved for many hours. It was only a student Midwife that come to my aid by checking in on me frequently as i sat uncontrollably crying without my baby and unable to move.

By day 3, id had enough of getting no help and support and pushed my body to the limit so i could sit in an armchair. My body felt like a whale and my legs had to be liftes by my partner. It was only then that a NICU nurse saw my distress from being unable to see my newborn and wheeled me via wheelchair for my first proper cuddle. He seemed so fragile and dropped quickly to 3.5lbs. I sat in disbelief that id even had a baby, afterall no waters had broken or no contrations started. My mood had hit an all time low and i just sat crying day in day out with hope shattered. All i was pleased about was my baby doing well
By day 6, the Hospital decided theyd send my baby back to the hospital id been receiving care from and together in a special kitted out ambulance we moved to SCBU where my little one would finally grow and get the support he needed. We soon learnt how to feed by tube and do all the things that were essential while battling with space with the incubator.

It took a further 21 days before the baby would finally come home with us and alowly meet our families. I sunk to an all time low and had PND where i just coukdnt deal with my partner or baby and struggled to stay afloat.

With time, things have got easier. No day is the same. Im too damaged to have another baby and at 40 yrs of age i think my bodys done its bit. Im pleased with my miracle and we are now 17 Months in

If theres amyone out there that struggles or doubt themselves, take it from me - you are doing amazingly well.. be proud of yourself and keep being the best version of you!!!!!