If you’re not close to your mom - what went wrong?

I don't really know what went wrong with my mum, cause it's not that we're not close but when I was little she was the most loving out of my parents and I used to always go and sit with her having a cuddle together and I could trust her with anything. Then it just went away, I hide things from her cause I don't want the reaction, she never gives me a cuddle and I kind of need to give one to her if she's leaving and we're saying bye... it's definetly not what it used to be, but I'm not that close with anyone anymore

I had such a bad childhood. Domestic abuse household. Bullied in school. During school sometimes my mom would come to school for something and I’d be outside during recess and because the girls would always bully me I’d be stood on the side next to a wall. I could see the street from where I was stood and those times I’d see my mom walking up I’d hide behind the wall so she doesn’t see me stood by myself and get embarrassed by me or laugh at me.

I don’t want my daughters to ever feel that alone, ever. Because it’s heart wrenching 💔

I’m close to my mom so can’t comment on that, but not close to my dad, he’s a narcissistic alcoholic who only ever cared about himself. I’m still civil towards him, but only if he initiates contact (luckily we live in different countries)

I think if you want to have a good relationship with your children you most likely will, be there for them regardless, meet them halfway, but also keep boundaries so they know where they stand. Also grow and change as they do, you can parent a 5 yr old the same way you do a 15 yr old. Oh and don’t try to buy love (as much as kids like things, the appreciate time invested even more)

I think my mom provided things but wasn’t emotionally in tune. I went through a lot emotionally on my own. I also feel she was more concerned with her boyfriend who eventually became her husband . He wasn’t the healthiest and hurt me emotional. I felt very alone growing up. It sounds like you’re already on the right track because you will focus on your daughters not feeling alone. I do think either way it gets hard when they’re teenagers depending on their personality.

I put doomed from birth because honestly my mum should have never have kids, they were never in her plan and while she hasn't been a terrible mum and she's not an awful person, her own unhealed trauma has, in turn, given myself and my 2 siblings our own trauma in many ways 🫠

My mom has issues. I emancipated myself at 16 from both my parents 🤣👋 so now that I have my degree in early ed I understand what is wrong with my mom.

A. She did not bond with me in the way a mother should. She went back to work when I was 6 weeks old & at which point she flew me & my older brother across the US to live with my grandma as both my parents were active military.

B. She would visit us bi-weekends.. & the military offered my parents to work in NH but work for the government etc. So now that she could be our mom again & work fulltime.. one time she left me in my carseat in a snow bank at the end of my grandma's driveway. I was maybe 5 months old my grandma said & she didn't say a word! She took off. I was screaming.

C. My mom wasn't diagnosed with psychosis partum until I was 13 & that was way too late to tell a child what's wrong with their mother. She had this facade. A perfect image. But no maternal, no snuggles, I'm very lucky my grandma gave me all of this.

As it turns out she has a personality disorder that she has had to spend 15 years to work on. Because it got to the point I didn't want to see or speak to her unless she was healthy. I can tell when she's "off" & there's never been a confirmed diagnoses lol, just a bunch of maybe. Needless my mom took it very seriously bc I ghosted her for 6 years. By 22 she actually was a whole different person. She did phsyco therapy, emdr etc. To try and fix her issues.

I remember as little as 2.. just wanting to make my mom happy but KEEP her happy. She was always upset, pissed, judgemental, unsettled.

My mom and I aren’t close, but we don’t have a bad relationship either.
I talk to her weekly but don’t feel a strong bond really. She is bipolar and was untreated when I was a child so I feel like I’ve always needed to walk on eggshells to not upset her by doing something “wrong” because every reaction was so amplified by her. That created a wedge pretty early on that made me feel like I was responsible for her emotions and not the other way around

I was a stat c section at birth, we never bonded. She resented me for it my entire life. Shes my biggest bully and critic and always puts my siblings on a pedestal. She constantly worries about them but never checks on me. I’ve learned to not care anymore. She is who she is and I can’t change her or rewrite the past.

It came out that my dad is a pedophile and she continues to support him and believe his lies

My mom moved away when I was 8 lol don’t move away from your kid and have a phone call relationship like you’re their aunt