Just needa vent

Pre kids my husband cheated on me emotionally with multiple women, drugs and alcohol were a large contributor to his bad decisions, he’s been clean for several years. Deep down I always felt like I was never good enough for him, now more so after having two kids, I feel really ugly and not confident at all. He’s alway been into girls who wore makeup, dressed girly all the time, wore perfume, use hair products, etc.
I have never been that way since he met me, so he always brings up jokingly if I’m a tomboy, and how he’d like me to be more “girly” but that’s never been me I don’t understand why he’d want me to change who I am. I put effort when we go out to eat and such but at home I’m not getting dolled up that does not come natural to me at all. So idk what to do or think, like is he not happy with who I am? Why’d he beg me to stay with him after cheating on me if I’m not his “ideal” woman. Idk. Should I leave him and let him find love elsewhere?? I feel like I’m not good enough for him.

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Why did he date you in the first place if you dont match his vision of a woman ?

you deserve better. somebody will love you for who you are and it’s the most amazing feeling in the world. my ex used to tell me to straighten my hair , dye it blonde. he ultimately cheated with a blonde. my current man adores my curls and compliments me everyday and i’ve never felt more beautiful and loved.

I’m hearing you say what he looks for in a woman, and wondering why he wants to be with you.

Suggestion: ask yourself what you’re looking for in a man. How do you want to feel when you’re around them? When you’re anticipating their return home? How does life look like with them as a partner? Now ask yourself why you want to be with him.

The fact that you’ve been together since high school can’t be the answer. You are who you are today, and he is who he is today. People grow and change.

Consider what you’re looking for, and if he’s it.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU LEFT HIM......

Well dear. I personally think you should set a boundary. Let him know its ok for him to make requests for maybe things he may want to see u dressed in etc but beyond that… he needs to keep preferences etc to himself. Set a boundary that if he keeps bringing it up… you will both need to seperate because its not ok. Sometimes people do what you allow them to get away with. And its ok to safegaurd your heart and also for you to have expectations of your partner that are non negotiable. If he respects you… he will hear u and make the changes.
Secondly… focus on your SELF esteem. Self esteem comes from self. Do things that bring u joy. And add a lil self care. Self care really does show up in how you present to the world. It helps u feel loved, respected and more confident. Love on you… take care of you… eat healthy, eat a treat, do some skin care, go for walk or exercise, drink water and setttttttt healthy boundaries in your life with any and everyone

He's using you. And the next chance and opportunity that comes along he will cheat again.
He begged to be with you again because he has low self esteem and didn't want to be alone.

Maybe dating when you were so young but we're you ever a girly girl back them ?

in our community

Am i the only one?

Hi Mums, this is the first time i will be openly speaking about this because ive been trying to push it back or hide it but i need to know if this is normal?

My baby boy is almost 7 months ols. We had a really difficult time in NICU for a week when he was born and i was also in the hospitalbed. I feel like since im home i havent been able to to complety chill the fuck out. I am always on alert, i feel like i cant rest. I have no friends or family here. My baby is exclusively breastfed and will not drink outside of his bedroom so when we go outside i always have to rush to get back home when he cries. The furthest ive been is 10 mins from home. Havent sat down at a cafe or restaurant. Just shops like sainsbury and b&m. I feel like my everyday is the same routine. Wake up play with him have a walk for a bit go shops and come home put him to bed, clean and sleep. I dont have time to make myself look nice. When will my life be normal? Im so scared this is my life now. I have no one to talk about this. I cant imagine going to the city centre with him it will be madness. Please, does anyone else have a similar situation? HELP. xx a really tired exhausted mum.

Funny EC Moment

So my sister visited yesterday and I didn’t think much of it when I went to offer the potty to my 12 week old. She walked into the hallway and sees me holding my baby essentially in the toilet bowl and asked “What the hell are you doing?!” I’ve never considered what it looked like up until that point so I asked her to take a photo of what she saw. It does kind of look like I’m flushing him lol. She thinks that it’s too early to be doing anything like this but I’m confident in my decision as he does go potty, I am getting catches, and he’s even started copying the grunting noise I do now. Just a silly little moment

Emotional abuse

It’s been pointed out to me that what I’ve been experiencing in my relationship is emotional abuse. After a year and a half of manipulation and gaslighting, things are finally starting to make sense, but it’s also overwhelming to process.

What makes it even harder is knowing that from the outside, he’s seen and known as such a kind and good person and I’m afraid no one will believe me. Right now, I feel completely drained, like I’m carrying a constant weight, with this tight, anxious feeling in my chest that won’t go away.

I’m still trying to find my footing and understand what comes next, but I needed to say this out loud. 😔

I peaked 😔

I got really angry at my 4 year old, threw the tooth brush and stormed out of the room. He went to bed crying and I didn’t go to him.

He came out of his room crying at one point and begged me to come back, but I sat him on my lap, hugged him and explained I’m too angry to go back into the room to put him to sleep. He begged me crying again over and over, and I just kept saying I loved him, we’re still best friends, but I can’t come back in. He then kicked me, so I shut the door and let him cry himself to sleep.

I know this horrible and I feel like the worst person. I know I’m going to wake up tomorrow with the worst feelings and guilt, but right now, I’m so fucking fed up of this life. Everything is a battle, there is never a time we can just do the thing and today it peaked for me.

Just ranting

Weaning

So I thought at 6 months it was just about taste etc so I’ve been doing Ella’s kitchen pouches & he tried avocado.
He is happy to be spoon fed & loves attempting to throw the bowl across the room.

I didn’t realise I should be on my way to breakfast lunch & dinner….

Any advice?? I feel like I’m letting my baby down and putting him behind

Thoughts

How do you feel about your other half/husband/childs father being drunk around 4 year old in the afternoon? Like literally falling asleep beside him on the couch