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Socially awkward moms

I have no friends, no career and I feel trapped.

I’ve always found socialising really difficult. I have made a few close friends over the years, but those friendships ended up being quite toxic, and we’ve recently fallen out. In a way, I feel relieved because I’d been wanting to break that cycle for a long time, and now I finally can.

Making new friends has always been hard for me. I do try with people, but it never really seems to be reciprocated. I’m usually the one reaching out, and people don’t often ask for my number or follow up with me, which can feel quite discouraging.

I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD and autism, which has helped explain why I’ve always felt different and why I sometimes feel like people just don’t like me. I do wonder if my fear of rejection or my desire to be liked might actually push people away without me realising.

I’ve always wanted a close group of girlfriends to spend time with and share experiences with. At the same time, because of my ADHD, I’ve struggled to stick to one career path. I’ve had so many different interests, and now I’m in my 30s without a clear career, which makes me feel quite behind in life.

I think happiness comes from having meaningful experiences with friends and family, and from doing something you genuinely enjoy. Right now, I feel like I’m missing the friendship side of that.

But I am really grateful that I have my two children — they mean everything to me.