Do you get along with your in laws?

Need to blow off some steam🫢 My husband is from Albania. We had visited twice for about a month and I had had a good experience there. My MIL is visiting us now in the US, it was supposed to be 2 months visit, it’s not even close to being over yet and she wants to stay 2 more months. I couldn’t even wait for the first 2 months to be over. It’s very normal in their culture that the MIL bosses around, is opinionated about raising the children, talks a lot in Albanian and expects me to understand her, complains about everything, wants to take my toddler out without me, makes passive aggressive comments about me thinking I don’t understand her, when I’m out she calls me to know where I’m at…I’m pregnant with my second I need some peace😩😩😩 someone please come kidnap her from my house🙏🏼🤣

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You poor lady 😢

Girl put some boundaries now cause otherwise will be like that forever. I am albanian and albanian moms(boys moms) dont know what boundaries are lol. I get along with my mil but at the same time my relationship is i respect you but you mind your business ,i mind mine!

It’s all your husband’s fault.
She is the way she is and the way her culture is, but it’s your husband’s job to set boundaries and control her and have her respect you in your own house. Your culture is different, SHEs in YOUR house and in YOUR country and it’s YOUR child and she should be more respectful and your husband needed to explain that and if he did and she is still disrespectful, her stay would of been cut short, if it was me.
And I’m an immigrant myself.

*some* Asian MIL can get overbearing too I know some of my gfs complain of their MIL’s I very luckily have a very laid back MIL who respects me and my parenting decisions. My Asian gf also has an Albanian MIL and she would be overbearing if not for the fact that she’s chronically ill and in and out of hospital that my gfs has to sometimes put her needs aside to take care of her. If she had the energy, she would’ve been overbearing coz even her partner said she’s an overbearing Mum growing up, she just doesn’t have the energy anymore. Her kid is gorgeous btw 😂 half Asian half Albanian. Looks like Dad for the most part and has this gorgeous light skin, you can tell she’s mixed race. I think we just have to make our boundaries nice and clear, get the partner to tell her maybe? Don’t pick up her calls saying “sorry it was on silent!” lol

Omg what a terror😭 my mother in law is an angel and I am blessed to have her

98% of the time lol sometimes they overstep with the parenting aspect, but then I just tell them thank you for your opinion, but doing things this way.

in our community

Parenting…

If your husband was happy to do bath & bedtime every night after work and also spend the most time with your kid/kids at the weekends to give you a break… how would you feel about it?

Am I being unreasonable for wanting my partner to hold our 1 month old with both hands?

Basically, what it says. I have a lot of anxiety about the baby being dropped. It's not that I think my husband is incapable, weak or too inexperienced. I've told him this, that babies can randomly wriggle out of your arms at any moment. I've been trying to work on this anxiety to not project, so I don't say anything while we're at home. When we're out and about, I get very anxious because instead of putting the baby in the carrier, he sometimes carries her with one arm and pushes the pram with the other hand. I try to say "two hands on the baby, let me push the pram", but he insists it's fine.

I feel like an uneven street slab, something slippery, someone bumping into you, the baby wriggling in an unexpected way, any of this could happen to anyone. I don't want to be annoying but I don't see why he won't just either leave her in the pram or put her in the carrier. He said doing things just to soothe my anxiety doesn't help anyone, and while I agree with that, I think it's a valid concern while we're out and about.

I think it's possible I've got some serious postpartum anxiety going on too, which obviously isn't his fault. I am already seeing a therapist because of PTSD and anxiety, so I'm waiting for my appointment to talk about this. I'm just wondering what your take on this is.

What do you think?

Feeling judged and deflated, and a bit annoyed. Do I need to chill out?

I have a 10m old baby, friends with about 4 or 5 other women who have babies similar ages. Also, my sister has a 3YO. All their babies don’t have problems sleeping, eating etc.

My boy is HIIIGH input, all or nothing baby. He’s never slept well, he has zero interest in food, screams crying being in the car and has to be entertained at every second otherwise he cries.

Whenever I’m at family events (like today), I feel like everyone is judging me because of this. They’re constantly trying to feed my son, as though he’s going to start eating and I feel they think that it’s my fault he is the way he is? My sister kept making comments about how she’d do it and making comments ‘a second time mum would make to a first time mum’, but she’s a FT mum and as far as I’m concerned, we have the exact same experience raising a baby up to 10 months old. When her child was same age, he was soooo chilled out, our experiences are not the same at all, she wasnt surviving off minimal sleep, nor are the others trying to step in.

No one makes direct comments to me, but it’s always comments with maybe I’m taking the wrong way.

Try this, try that. Yes. I have. Leave me alone.

How do I stop being a bedroom parent? 😞

Please don't judge I wasn't always like this. Well I was before I had kids but after my first things were different. I don't feel safe in my living room. I don't like having the blinds open and people being able to see in. I don't like going in the kitchen because even tho I've been in my own house for more than 5 years I still feel like someone's going to come in and start complaining that I'm doing everything wrong or I'm "stealing". I hate making food in my kitchen. I can't cook (except the basics but tbh more than some people I know) but I can follow a recipe but I don't like being in my kitchen for any length of time. I've suffered severe anxiety and depression since I was about 12, after I had my first things were different I was just in my bubble with my baby I didn't care about any of those things anymore. I had a difficult pregnancy with my second and ended up with postpartum depression and anxiety. I breastfed for 6 months and room shared for 8 months, he's 10 months now and I just don't jn know how to fix this this time 😭. It's got to the point my partner has to do meals and tries to get us downstairs but I always just end up taking them back to their room. I don't ignore my kids I spend most of my time in their room with them but I don't want them to end up like me.

Paying grandparents

I'm about to start back at work, and the grandparents are going to be having baby ad hoc. I will be working 3 days a week, and dad works different rota hours each week. He'll have her when he's available - so they'll be having her ad hoc days.

Question is: how much did you pay grandparents for looking after your little one as a daily rate?

They don't want money but I'd feel more comfortable giving a small amount to help pay for things when she's in their care etc.

Rate my 20 month old eating today 😭

Half a wheatabix
Strawberries
Oat bar
Half an apple
Small madeira cake because apple fell in sand i.e. hysterics
3 breadsticks
Bites of ham
Refused veg + noodles.
Milk before nap (this is rare)
One handful noodles
4 prawn crackers 😫
Orange slice
2.5 wheatabix as out of porridge.
Milk before sleep