This will sound bad

FTM mom.

I have a six month old who I absolutely adore. When my husband and I started trying, we did not think that we would get pregnant on the first try at all. Both myself and my husband have health issues so we genuinely thought that we are gonna be struggling. We did not expect to get up to bat and hit a home run on the first try.

With that being said in the same year that my child was born we moved cities where we didn’t have friends we bought a house. He got two promotions and is working like a dog.

I feel genuinely lost. I can’t establish a good group of friends here at all. I’ve tried Mom groups and the only women that show up are either grandmothers or nannies. I tried churches. I’ve tried workout classes, but making female friends as a mother is impossible.

When we got pregnant, we made the decision that I would stay home and end my corporate job because my corporate job the only way to move up was if we were to move us another city to the home office which we couldn’t do because we just moved from my husband‘s job.

I can feel the resentment creeping in. I feel like I’ve put everything in my life on hold for my husband and he is doing everything that he wanted in his life hasn’t drastically changed. He’s still going to work having adult conversations making friends and I’m at home with a baby maybe going out once a day having a very routine life. Frankly, i’m regretting saying yes to trying for a baby, but I love our kid. It’s so complicated to say out loud and I feel guilty even admitting it.

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Totally normal. You had a lot of transition and major life changes over the last year - and while your husband experienced changes as well, you had the double-whammy of losing your identity. Matresence is the word for this.

Beyond “mommy and me” groups (which I’d strongly suggest - even if they’re nannies and not moms, they can still be friends), a Counsellor, and if you have something like “Real Roots” in your area, I’d highly recommend it.

I did that where I live, and I went from having zero friends to a core group of 8 of us who get together every 2-3 weeks, and then some of us do 1:1s in between there. Life changing!

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Private company that connects women friends. They facilitate social gatherings and connections.

If they aren’t in your area there may be something similar where you are.

Www.therealroots.com

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Where do you live now? I'm from Missouri. Building your village is hard but not impossible. Being a sahm is exhausting. Try finding things that you enjoy and are just for you. I started reading and crocheting. I go to a few events a month and talk to some adults.

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Girl it is okay to feel that way I im on my second kid and I work but I still feel the same sometimes. My man and I get into arguments about it sometimes and I think he is starting to see more and more what I have lost and set aside for your family for our children. Maybe just try and talk to him it’s not easy but how does he know what your going through if you don’t say anything how can he support you or try and help if he doesn’t even know there is a problem. It’s hard to be a mom it’s lonely. You got this tho you know in your heart what’s right.

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It’s so hard to chat with a mom on here when they literally disagree with everything you say in a sort of passive aggressive way.

For example, we’re just trying to get to know each other and I just mentioned that my kids go to school except for my youngest who stays home with me. And she’s like “oh well we home school I could never send my kids to school”
Which is fine I get it. I support all means of education.
But then I’m like “I like to go work out at the gym a couple evenings a week while my husband watches the kids”
And she’s like “oh I don’t like leaving my husband with more to do after he already worked all day”
And then I mention my 4 year old is watching bluey while I take a quick break. And she’s like “oh we don’t do tv in our house”.

It feels like literally anything I have to say is immediately negated and judged.

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My 2yr 3 month old is so difficult. Tried to have a day out with friends kids today. Mine was the only one screaming and fussing, my friends 3 year old was having a lovely time playing happily. We left early as we usually do. I can't recall any time I've had a succesful outing with mine. It makes me never want to do anything. I just want to know, is this normal toddler behaviour that gets better or is mine pre-disposed to being a bad tempered child? I feel like the one no one wants to invite or hang with as my toddler is so difficult and never content

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