How can i convince my husband?

Hello, im a mother of 2 (8 and 3 years old) both from different fathers and i just recently got married; long story short my husband was always putting out there he wants to have kids (he loves them btw) and as crazy as the idea sounded to me i felt like i dont want to have more kids, my body bounced back pretty nice (im 5’8 140lbs) i dont feel insecure at all, i feel like postpartum has being totally over and i dont want to go back to it, finding myself out again after 2 kids felt like forever and i really dont want to go through it again. How can i convince him not to have more kids?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

One more wont hurt !! 🫣. Just kidding. Kinda. I know postpartum can be brutal! I dont have any advice unfortunately. I spent the last 3 years convincing my husband of the opposite, to have more kids 🙃🙃.

Maybe see if you all can find a middle ground? Would you be open to adopting? Or having a surrogate mother?

You guys didn’t talk about this before getting married? This is a dealbreaker for a lot of people? If he doesn’t have any kids and wants them I’m assuming you guys talked about your kids counting as all for him too?

You should not have married a man you knew wanted his own child.

This is a deal breaker for many relationships. If you are only recently married and you are a hard no on more kids, perhaps the two of you should discuss getting an annulment.

If you KNEW you didn’t want children and he did. Was he made aware of that? And still married you, or?

I could never do that to a guy. Even extra more so if he doesn’t have his own children yet. That’s not….. fair, in my eyes.

You never told him you were done?

For most relationships this is 💯 a deal breaker
Did you disgust this before marriage an agreed but later in life depression happened an know u r saying you don't want more.
I would maybe talk to him an talk to someone else with him in the room as well
Maybe tell how how you are feeling right now an ask him if he can wait for a year or 2. An if u still don't than discuss about divorcing in future if u decide to have a baby maybe talk to therapist weekly about how you are feeling an find routine that works for you
You can also look for surrogate, or adopt.
But if u knew he didn't want children an you knew you are 100 done than yea your the AH.

in our community

Husband wants to act like a lil bitch

I need some advice or perspective on this.

My husband works a lot okay . But other than working barely contributes mentally or physically or supportive towards the house or me , for context I haven’t had a single break since falling pregnant in 2021 . The only break I get is when my 4 year old is at school but now I’m dealing with a 1year old aswell .

Please help me understand why does this man think it’s okay to go cozy up in bed if he’s not well? I mean you’re sick? So am I ? But that doesn’t excuse me from parenting or doing whatever I have to do to get everything done for the day . Yesterday he was laying in bed scrolling sleeping etc , I lost it because I had to take my 1year old to the GP at 2:30 and he was sleeping? He heard the baby crying but instead of coming down at once this man calls my phone repeatedly 4calls later that’s when he comes down to ask if I need any help I was like wtf so you’re that lazy to even offer help? So when I came back from the GP I didn’t talk or acknowledge him so half hour later he asks me what’s wrong and I told him nothing I’m fine because I know everytime I’ve voiced out how I’m feeling he’s only made me feel worse . I told him give me sometime I’ll be fine but he kept insisting- so I told him I said it’s not fair that you get to go rest while you’re sick but I’m just supposed to continue like I’m not human? I even mentioned I’ve never had a days of rest or a break in 6 years even when I birthed both my children I was back in the kitchen that very day so am I not allowed to be hurt that you get to sleep in and I don’t?he just got angry and walked out .

My point is I tried explaining an telling him it’s not about him resting that he’s sick but it’s about the fact that if I can think that you are human and you need rest why am I not getting the same? Am I asking for too much? Even today he’s been sick and stuck in bed from morning? I’m pregnant with the 3rd which I’m not planning to keep as I know he’s a useless husband who thinks providing money is everything. He wants to be respected but will not respect me , he wants to lead but will mimic everything I do? You want to act like a bitch but expect me to see you as a man? Make it make sense cause oh how I wish I could get away with murder rather than putting up with a useless cunt like this

Is it ok to keep helping in the house?

So ever since i met my husband he has being very financially open with me, i noticed how he used to help his mom as well. Long story short we got married and thats where i got more involved in his finances, well he is a home owner so i moved with him;but then i found out how much money he gives her, im talking about rent, insurance, groceries, clothes and so on. So for a while i helped him but i don’t want to do it anymore because i feel like i help in the house and that money directly or indirectly it goes to his mom; what should i do?

Weaning question

We’ve just started weaning our 6 month old and she’s doing amazing so far. However, whenever we’ve given her soft finger food ie courgette, rather than chewing down on it, she tries to suck it all in her mouth with force. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m trying to let her have freedom but terrified she’s going to slurp something in whole!

I don’t feel like my husband challenges me, I can almost never have a stimulating conversation with him, we married young 10 years ago when we were both naive but deeply in love

I feel like since then I’ve grown so much and he’s nearly stayed the same, so I guess I’m the problem since I’m the one who changed our dynamic but Ive slowly become more and more attracted to intelligence and my husband is kind and hard working but he is satisfied being mentally stagnant and it’s making me freak out, there has to be more. With the state of our country and the world, I like discussing politics, ideologies, cultural and social norms and things like that. I genuinely love learning and being challenged. He likes playing video games. He’s also objectively attractive by beauty standards, muscular build, full head of hair and beard. I recognize he’s attractive but I am not attracted to him anymore because I don’t find him interesting or smart. I know I sound like an extreme asshole but that’s the truth, is there any hope? Does anyone else feel similar?

Advanced Baby

Hello my baby is 6 months old and was told by the doctor that baby is advanced. All milestones have been hit ahead of time and now baby is on the move. I am back at work and had originally planned for my mother to care for her for 3 months since I’m off in the summer. But now I’m debating if it would be more beneficial to put baby in daycare. The reason being is my mother is limited on how she can interact with baby and stimulate her. Any advise from moms with on the move and on the go babies.

Does this happen to all women?

I feel like I attract weirdos. I’m happily married. And every job I’ve worked at I have had horrible interactions with men. I worked at a gas station for a while and while I was there, I had a stalker, he literally had to be chased off by one of the other employees. And when I told my boss that a different man was asking questions about what vehicle I drove and waiting out in the parking lot for five hours to see when I would leave from my shift to follow me home, my boss( a man) told me to be meaner and did nothing.

when I was a CNA a guy grabbed my ass then same day I went to Walmart and as I’m in the dark parking lot two 6 foot four guys are at the back of their trunk asking me to come smell the perfumes they had.

Recently, my husband brought friends over and one of them hit on me in front of my husband, another one told his friend he would”bang me” if he had a chance. (Both of these guys are no longer welcome in our house)

and this is literally not even the worst experiences I’ve had as a woman!

IM JUST SO DONE! I’ve developed being shy because I hate it. Does anyone else feel like this? Why can’t women just be human?