Is it ok to keep helping in the house?

So ever since i met my husband he has being very financially open with me, i noticed how he used to help his mom as well. Long story short we got married and thats where i got more involved in his finances, well he is a home owner so i moved with him;but then i found out how much money he gives her, im talking about rent, insurance, groceries, clothes and so on. So for a while i helped him but i don’t want to do it anymore because i feel like i help in the house and that money directly or indirectly it goes to his mom; what should i do?

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Do you guys have a share bank account? If not it might be a good idea to start with. Me and my hubby have a share account and use it to pay our bills, food, whatever is needed in the house . We also have our own accounts and whatever is left is for our personal use . I also sometimes help my mum and dad and he doesn't mind, from my own account/money.

Is his mom disable or just unable to take care of her own bills ?

Is your name on the mortgage? If not that's a big red flag and something I'd address separately if you're married and putting money in. But if you're both earning money I do think it's fair that you both contribute towards the running of the household. If he then uses some of his spare money to support his mum then tbh there are worse things he could be spending that money on. We send money to my husband's mum and I'm happy we're in a position that we're able to do so and it's really meaningful for my husband to give something back, I support that 100%. I don't care what she spends it on.

Is there a reason why he does this? Cultural norm for them, or disabilities?

But even still, my personal thoughts is, you should not be straining as his wife and now family, for him to be what sounds like fully supporting her. If you’re financially set as well, and then she’s help. Cool, awesome.
But definitely open communication about it if it’s so much that you’re obviously uncomfortable with it.

**With your added contexts comments above. Definitely needs to be a conversation, heck, I’d even venture to ask her why she’d away take from him supporting her grandchildren. 🤷🏼‍♀️

He definitely shouldn't help his mum using the share account.

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Toys at grandparents home

Just wondering if Im being weird about this?
My MIL lives about 15 mins away I take our daughter there quite a bit, she has nothing kid friendly at her house so I asked her to get a couple toys that can live there so I dont have to bring toys every time we go over...she said yeah yeah and thats shes ordered some stuff on amazon. Turns out what she ordered was just table corner protectors, no toys or anything. So I asked again and she said that our baby doesnt need toys, she will just find things about the house to occupy herself like the tv remote.
I get it but at the same time if I thought like that then my child would be playing with wires, keys, my phone, batteries ect and not baby friendly things at my home so it doesnt make sense to me? She needs age appropriate toys. I take her there at least once a week, sometimes more... so its a lot for me to take everythint all the time, I bring the baby, all her nappies, spare clothes ect plus toys, things for her to eat ect. All im asking for are a fee toys that live at their house.
I know I could leave my own toys there but she complained about me 'not letting her be grandma' when our daughter was first born because I wanted to recover at home for a week and when we did visit I wanted to hold my baby more than she expected. So now Im like.... you wanted to be grandma, im asking you to help me out as grandma and buy your granddaughter a couple of toys for your house and you wont do it?
Ive ended up leaving a walker and a couple toys there and a couple spoons and a bowl . She has the walker behind the sofa and doesn't get it out when we do go round or anything Ive left. So I feel like I have to still bring toys there.
My dad lives 2 hours away, we've gone to visit 3 times since our daughter was born and hes bought toys and a high chair for her and bowls and spoons for her and I didnt even ask him to.
So me asking grandma who lives 15 mins away to buy a couple toys to make things easier for me and she wont doesnt sit right with me at all? Am I wrong. I
And I do bring toys from our house to grandma's everytime we go but theyre toys my daughter likes the most that week so im not going to leave them there. I left a couple bits but what Im asking is for her to get some as well so lighten my load.

How would you interpret the phrase “at times, it appears they are working together in ways that are unsafe for others.”

In reference to a set of 4.5 year old twins, in an email from their teachers (the first time they’ve reached out about any type of physical incident with another child).

Do you think the teachers mean the twins are teaming up to intentionally be “unsafe” to others?

potty training!

i want to start potty training our daughter, she’s 16 months old. i saw somewhere that waiting till they’re ready is key but when exactly would i know that’s she’s ready? do i start her on the toilet with a baby seat or get a little potty? we’re in the process of building our home to move out of my parents house, would it be better to wait to start till we’re moved in? i also saw that telling them “it’s okay” when having an accident is not recommended, what should i say instead? please help my parents don’t remember hahahaha

Husband wants to act like a lil bitch

I need some advice or perspective on this.

My husband works a lot okay . But other than working barely contributes mentally or physically or supportive towards the house or me , for context I haven’t had a single break since falling pregnant in 2021 . The only break I get is when my 4 year old is at school but now I’m dealing with a 1year old aswell .

Please help me understand why does this man think it’s okay to go cozy up in bed if he’s not well? I mean you’re sick? So am I ? But that doesn’t excuse me from parenting or doing whatever I have to do to get everything done for the day . Yesterday he was laying in bed scrolling sleeping etc , I lost it because I had to take my 1year old to the GP at 2:30 and he was sleeping? He heard the baby crying but instead of coming down at once this man calls my phone repeatedly 4calls later that’s when he comes down to ask if I need any help I was like wtf so you’re that lazy to even offer help? So when I came back from the GP I didn’t talk or acknowledge him so half hour later he asks me what’s wrong and I told him nothing I’m fine because I know everytime I’ve voiced out how I’m feeling he’s only made me feel worse . I told him give me sometime I’ll be fine but he kept insisting- so I told him I said it’s not fair that you get to go rest while you’re sick but I’m just supposed to continue like I’m not human? I even mentioned I’ve never had a days of rest or a break in 6 years even when I birthed both my children I was back in the kitchen that very day so am I not allowed to be hurt that you get to sleep in and I don’t?he just got angry and walked out .

My point is I tried explaining an telling him it’s not about him resting that he’s sick but it’s about the fact that if I can think that you are human and you need rest why am I not getting the same? Am I asking for too much? Even today he’s been sick and stuck in bed from morning? I’m pregnant with the 3rd which I’m not planning to keep as I know he’s a useless husband who thinks providing money is everything. He wants to be respected but will not respect me , he wants to lead but will mimic everything I do? You want to act like a bitch but expect me to see you as a man? Make it make sense cause oh how I wish I could get away with murder rather than putting up with a useless cunt like this

Grandparent relationships.

How often do your
parents / parents -in - law visit your kids?

Grandparents visiting

About to enter 2 under 2 and the only places i wanna be other than the office or stores is home. Most times i feel like im pulling teeth to get my son time with my parents because of a number of reasons....

So do yall think your parents should ask initially about visiting or should you ask them?