Staying close with working (supportive) husband/partner?

So, I stay at home all day with my 14mo kiddo. It's not too bad (he's very independent) but my husband comes home only a couple hours before bedtime after working all day.
My husband is very supportive and does everything he can when he's home (takes care of bedtime every night and takes a lot of the weight on weekends, and I know if he could be would do more, so that's not the issue).
My question is I am feeling very lonely, even when he's home and I feel like we are kind of distant. When I tried to tell him, he didn't understand (so I assume he isn't feeling the same).
Anybody have experience with this feeling of separation? Any advice would be appreciated ♥

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I’m at home all day with my 7 month old and 3 year old and have been since my first was born. We barley see him besides on the weekends by the time he gets home the boys are ready to go to sleep so we try to prioritize watching a movie together or playing a game than on the weekends it’s like our fresh restart of being together as a family on the weekends we always prioritize going out and doing stuff as a family and that’s what seems to help us get through the weeks of feeling distant it’s like a reconnection.

I think some of that is lack of adult interaction as a stay at home mom. I assume he gets to have at least some adult interaction at work.

Another part is when they’re so young the kids take up a lot of our time and attention so that it’s hard to have energy for mom and dad alone time (and I don’t just mean sex but that’s important too). I remember my husband and I struggled with this a lot at first and were going round 2 now with the second baby. I suggest carve some alone time with your husband to have non-kid related conversations and time and have a regular date night maybe once a month at least?
I know I signed up in this app for that feeling of loneliness as well as hoping to facilitate my son’s socialization, hopefully killing 2 birds with one stone. With other moms you can trouble shoot and have all the baby talk you need while both you and baby socialize, then adult time with the husband to reconnect, hopefully that helps.

Use your weekends together to have a date night!! And fill them up with a bunch of family friendly activities. My man works 2 hours away (4hr commute) so he leaves at 3am and doesn't get back until 8pm so we try to spend as much time together as possible. We FaceTime during his lunch for a check in. We have family dinner every night, since he only has time to eat and shower before he needs to rest for the next day, cuddle him at night until he falls asleep. But when weekends come around we do a lot of activities together, have date nights, trips. Or try spicing things up, sometimes people simply get stuck in routine.

YES. Were just getting out of another one of these funks.

Make sure you set aside date time. I dont mean just going out, its hard to find good child care. We do "me time" friday nights so we each have a set time (no end time, its just whenever the kids go to bed until we each feel like going to bed) to be able to decompress from the week, take care of us, and just rest with no obligations.
Then we do our weekly date night on saturday nights. After the kids go to bed, we get snacks, drinks, etc., and find something to do together. We both enjoy Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing, so usually we play one of those. Its more about designated time together rather than the activity, but its important to set aside time to just be together.

in our community

Moving to Scotland

Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate some advice and insight.

My partner and I are planning a big move to Edinburgh, as he’s hoping to open a restaurant there. I genuinely love Scotland the atmosphere, the scenery, and the people always seem so warm and friendly whenever I visit.

However, I do have some concerns. I’m Black British, and I have a daughter who will be starting secondary school around the time we move. Naturally, as a mum, I want to make sure she feels safe, supported, and accepted in her new environment.

I’d really like to hear honest experiences what is it like for Black families living in Edinburgh, especially when it comes to schools? Have you or your children experienced any racism, and how is it generally handled?

Also, my daughter is very passionate about track and field, so I’d love recommendations for secondary schools with strong athletics programs or good sports facilities. Any tips on clubs, teams, or supportive communities for young athletes would be amazing too.

Overall, I’m excited about the move, but I just want to make the best decision for my daughter and ensure she has a positive experience.

Thank you so much in advance 💛

Have i normalised bad behaviour?

Hey all, today i reversed the car a little too much while trying to get out of tight parking and ended up scratching the car.

We have 2 cars, i drive the bigger one as im pregnant and its a lot more confortable right now.

My first thought was "shit, hes gonna be so mad! I fucked up" Now im stressed to tell him.

I wanted to ask, is this really normal? Should i be freaking out about telling my husband? I feel like a child, but hes not my parent. Surely its not normal to feel this way about your spouse? Have i just grown to believe this is normal?

Holiday suggestions - 3 year old and 10 month old

We would like to do a lovely all inclusive holiday in September with our 10 month old and 3 year old. Ideally not a really long flight considering their ages and would a bit of luxury as it will be to celebrate my 30th. Any recommendations? Thank you

Am I a bad mum if we don’t go out today?

I have a 3 month old who just wants to be held and breastfed and a nearly 2 year old who has only had 20 minutes sleep.

We usually go out everyday but it’s just us three and I don’t want my toddler to get overtired or overstimulated, my infant won’t be put down and just wants to feed and I’m pretty tired but that’s nothing new 😅

What do you think?

Help

I’ve been feeling a bit emotional lately and just need some reassurance. My son is 20 months old, and whenever we’re at my parents’ house, he always wants my sister and not me. Today, even at home, when he woke up from his nap, he cried out for “aunty” instead of me, which really hurt. It made me start wondering if I’m doing something wrong or if he doesn’t want me anymore. I think it’s hitting me harder because I’m also pregnant with my second baby.

Opinions please!

Would 6 months old be too young to send my baby to my parents for 1 night? I want to go and see Noah Kahan in November but he’s only in London or Manchester which would have to be a night away. But worried 6m might be too young for a night away! What does everyone think?