Break up!!!

Hi, i thought i would never write this. But i am. I have nobody and i need some advice.

I am in the UK because my boyfriend lives here. We are together for many years. We have a 6 month old baby. I will not go into detail but i have to leave him.

I have a pre settled status and did apply for a settles one which im awaiting results for.

I am making my baby a british passport tomorrow online.

If we break up, i am so scared that he will try to take my baby. Please can someone tell me what will happen?

I really appreciate any advice.

Also, he is refusing to leave the house, we rent privately and both our names are on the contract.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

You can’t get a British passport without the father’s consent.

Avatar

Sorry I didn’t mean to press send. Check out an app called bright sky for domestic abuse help. Abuse includes controlling behaviour.
Try and record any incidents of nastiness discreetly.
If you and the baby are unsafe at all just get out but otherwise you have every right to remain in the property.

Reach out to your local early help team which will be googleable tomorrow.

If he goes to work get an emergency locksmith to come change the locks. You may need your tenancy agreement for this.

Avatar

Ultimately he has a legal right to be there but once locks are changed get onto the landlord and explain the situation x

Avatar

Harbour, refuge both good domestic abuse charities x

Avatar

https://www.peanut-app.io/blog/resources-for-support

Peanut just flagged this as I typed

Avatar

You shall need the fathers consent if he’s on the birth certificate to take the child anywhere

Avatar

I'm sorry you are in this situation.
Do you intend to live here in the UK? Do you want the father to still make part of baby's life?
There are so many questions.
I would say call the social assistant or even your GP. Police is also trained to deal with house issues. You can go talk to them.
Try to keep calm as things will get better at some point. Even if now is looking terrible.
The probability of him staying with your baby is very low. Only if you have some problems like drugs or are the abuser.

I wouldn't recommend change the looker like the lady said because this gonna be a super big stress. I mean it may works and the guy just leave you alone. But I suggest talk to an advisor first.
- Police are trained to assist you in house issues
- GP can also guide you
- Social Services (call your mid wife she know what to do)

Good luck!

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

I need a friend …

Is anyone up to chat or hear me out ? My husband just told me he lost his job . We just bought a house . I’m so confused right now and I don’t know how to feel . I need a friend to talk to .

Avatar

6

Loneliness

Hi, I’m struggling with feeling quite lonely in pregnancy. I only have a handful of friends. 2 of them are pregnant which is quite nice, but I don’t really see the others. I’ve just joined a pregnancy Pilates group but I feel people keep to themselves. Does anyone have any ideas how I can connect with others and make like minded friends? I’m 15 weeks pregnant and live in Kent (UK). Xx

Avatar

1

6

Am I overreacting?

To give some background, my partner used to use cocaine when he used to go out before I had a baby, it didn’t bother me, just let him get on with it. When it was getting close to baby being born I set a boundary and said that I did not want him doing that anymore when baby is here, he has responsibilities and a child to come home to. He promised me that he wouldn’t and for the first 4 months I am confident he didn’t.

He was out on Saturday and I knew immediately that he had, and he came home wanting to look after baby. I asked him and he denied it but I still wouldn’t let him anywhere near her.

On Sunday I barely spoke to him, and then asked him again on the night and he continued to deny it, in the end I asked him to swear on our baby that he hasn’t at which point he finally admitted it but didn’t seem sorry about it or bothered about it at all.

I feel like I’m struggling to get past this and that he would come home coked up and want to look after our baby but I don’t know if I am overreacting and I would rather be told straight up if I am!

Avatar

1

3

Are you in your early 20’s

Idk if it’s just me but I can’t seem to find anyone close in age if you are text me would love to make some new momma friends

Avatar

1

10

Man I had to leave an IMessage I was on there for a day !!!! Toxic asf

Guys be careful on joining group chats. I have been in many of them and never experienced a bad group chat all of them have been very welcoming and nice. Until today I was having fun talking to the girls and getting to know them I noticed there was no background. So I changed it and someone had said who changed it and I said me. She then said they already had one I apologized and said I didn’t mean no harm. Then they continued and one said that it was an ugly background. Another said that it was rude which I did agree I said sorry didn’t mean to be rude. But still kept on going so I ended up leaving. Like I told them sorry and I didn’t mean to be rude by changing the background. But going as far as ganging up on one person and then calling the background “ugly” .

Avatar

1

13

Chat !

Anybody wanna text ?

Avatar

1

6

Read more on Peanut