Toddler rage…

Same age as my little girl. I’ll tell you a scenario that happened with me, more or less the same. So before I get to the park I tell her my expectations ‘ gunna play for a little while, when mummy says it’s time to go, then we need to leave the park okay?’ 5/10 mins before I give a warning, just the once and then I say okay time to go now. If she whines/complains and doesn’t listen I say to her you can either walk yourself and follow me or I’m going to pick you up, give her a few seconds to make the choice, if she doesn’t listen I pick her up, If she tries to hit me etc i will firmly say you do not hit mummy/ hands are not for hurting or whatever you wanna use, if she still tries to hurt me or is not listening I turn her body around so her arms are infront of her and say to her ‘I need to keep myself safe’. When she’s calm and you’re having connection time with her you can tell her your expectations at the park and how her behaviour was not okay and what to do instead.

You need to keep your wording as minimal and firm as possible in that moment as they’re already over stimulated so aren’t really processing our words

I have also taken a break from the park too and mentioned the reason why. If she asks to go you can say not today, have a quick recap of your expectations and then say maybe we can go tomorrow or whatever x

Hope this works for you. this has worked for me. Also you have to be consistent so if you say something to her make sure you follow through with it. If you say I’m gunna pick you up, make sure you do and don’t give her extra time to run around because she’ll know you’re not being serious x

Also validate her feelings. I know you were so happy at that park, that was really fun huh? You were sad to leave so was I but it’s important to listen to mummy’s words. Next time we can try act like princesses in the tower, how does that sound??? or whatever example works for you lol xx

It sounds like normal toddler behaviour although yes very difficult to deal with. I think explaining when she’s calm is great which you did. I sometimes use like something to look forward to don’t know if you’re meant to but like oh let’s have a snack when we get to the car or get home or something like that which often helps but you’re doing great giving timers and explaining when she’s calm we can be upset but we don’t hurt others etc

Yeah, I used to have this too. Best way I found was to plan for it by packing something in the bag, a simple snack and a small toy from home, that way after he's had plenty of play time and the last 5 mins is up, I say, 'I've got something nice for you once you're in your car seat, shall we go see what it is? And he gets excited to move on to the next part of the day. He thinks whatever it is is in the car but it's just in the bag, that way he doesn't see it before then.

On a side note, my older one, who was 4 or 5 at the time, once told me, she doesn't like it when I say 'c'mon, I gave you your 5 minute warning...' because the word warning makes her feel like she's done something wrong and makes her not want to collaborate. So now we call it, the 5 minute heads up and I think it helps both of them feel more like we're all on the same team.