Do you have a joint account for bills & shopping?

These are 2 entirely separate issues. Using dates nights in an "argument" about bills and paying for the house makes zero sense. Resolve them both separately.

To answer your question though, we have a joint account for bills and we each have a separate account for spending. $200 gets direct deposited from our paychecks to our personal accounts as an "allowance" and the rest goes to joint for bills and savings

We have a joint account. We both put enough money into it to cover everything (he puts more in than me as he earns more) and everything comes out of that. Bills, mortgage, food shopping. Then we have our own money for ourselves. X

Every family is different tbh, as long as it works for you it's okay. Clearly this isn't working for you so if you want to share everything 50/50 the best way is to open a shared account that both of you have access to. Not sure about the mortgage, can you be added to it?

When we both have jobs, we're going to open a joint checking account for groceries, bills, stuff for the kids, etc., which we will put a certain percentage of our paycheck into. We will also each have our individual checking and savings.

Did you contribute financially to the house at all? X

Sort of. We have a joint account and we each have separate accounts. He pays the majority of the larger bills. Like the mortgage and the car insurance/health insurance/cell phone. I pay for all the utilities. We each pay for our own other personal expenses and we each contribute to paying for my college classes.

We don’t have a joint account but we budget for the bills/ childcare costs/ food shopping etc and work out the total cost and then he sends me half every month. We review it periodically to make sure that the half is still fair x

We have a joint account where we put in the same amount each month each. This is for mortgage & all bills Inc food etc.

We also have our own bank accounts to do whatever we want with our own money.

We have a joint account that we both pay into and all of the bills come out of, personal accounts our wages go into and with any spare money for individual spending.

What's concerning me most here is him suddenly backtracking at the suggestion of a joint account... this is making me think he's charging you more than your fair share if you aren't actually seeing the expenses and are just paying him what he tells you...

Sorry, meant did you contribute to the house purchase?

Yes we’ve been together 8 years and bought our home in 2020 so got a joint account then. We put majority of our wages in there and use it for most things and saving. We keep a little bit to ourselves in our own accounts x

We have a joint account that all bills come out of on autopay. We each contribute to it. We use our own accounts and credit cards for the things we want individually but all reoccurring bills come out of the joint account.

A joint account was really good for our relationship as we ended up having similar kinds of issues eg one feeling like they had paid for more joint stuff than the other recently.

We each pay in a fixed amount per month (at the moment it’s the same as our earnings are similar but there have been times in the part when one has put more due to earning more eg when I was on mat leave) and we have direct debits for mortgage, bills. We use it for weekly shop, any joint/baby spending, date nights (unless it’s one persons treat eg a birthday). I don’t work Fridays and will also use it if I’m out solo parenting (eg get myself a coffee) given I’m saving us nursery fees that day 😂. The rest of our income stays in our personal account for us to spend on ourselves.

Dunno where you are based but if UK we use Monzo for ours and it has a really user friendly app that we both have access to. You can create saving pots in it too - we set aside some joint funds for holiday, home repairs, childcare

In your op it says the mortgage is in his name, but lower down you say you are also on the mortgage?

You need to know and see how much the bills are so a joint account could be a good way to do that.

We have our own accounts that our wages go into and we pay for things we want.

And we have a joint account for all shared bills (mortgage, house stuff, bills, nursery, kids stuff etc).

When I was working full time we put in the same each month, but I work part time now and he earns considerably more so he now puts in more than me.
I manage all the finances but he has access to all our accounts.

We also have a joint savings account that we put into.

Same as above, we get paid into our own personal accounts but also have a joint account and have had since we bought our house. All joint bills come out of the joint account. We both pay into it each month but my partner pays a higher portion of our bills than me as he earns more than me. I work part time so I can do all school runs (his job is better paid so made sense for me to drop hours instead of him). Food shops also come out of the joint account

My husband and I only have a joint account. All expenses and “fun money” comes out of it. Neither of us has our own bank accounts. All of our money is our money, not his or mine. We make our budget and any large expense decisions together. We each have a set allowance each month to spend as we like, and the rest is for bills, saving, retirement, family vacation fund, etc. We put a set amount each month into each of our retirement accounts and savings account. We did this since we got married when we were both working and continue it now that I’m a stay at home mom.