Adult Friendships

I have a 'best mate ' who say she'll be there, cant wait till baby comes , so excited ect. Shes spoken to me maybe 2 times through the pregnancy. Im now 28+3. Theres been no effort. Unless I reach out to her I dont here from her. Im my mind if she valued me as much as she says she does then she would have made so much more effort. Im not chasing anyone. I dont have the time or energy. Ill put in what I get back.

Honestly, I had a gaming buddy who I thought we would be friends forever. One day she texted me and told me how terrible I was for not playing or texting her one day out of all the days I’ve played with her. I’m apologize profusely for making her feel terrible but she’s blocked me on everything and she showed me her true colors that day. I myself already have a terrible time making friends and keeping them. I kept myself reserve when I was friends with her because I already have lost two great friends who used me so I kept myself quiet so I wouldn’t lose her to. It’s just how people are. I just keep going on being myself. I’m just more reserved now.

I completely agree. Friendship breakups hurt! But in hindsight, I see the benefits to said ended friendships.
I lost a childhood friend who completely switched up on me and made me out to be the “changed person” etc, when I am the very best “me” that I’ve ever been. She was so close to me during hard times of life, the crazy, young, bad decision making and carefree times when I didn’t have my shit together, and she drifted from me when everything was finally going well for me. I’m intentional with my life. I embrace the changed me, and I stopped questioning myself. She just wasn’t meant to be my friend anymore, especially in this season of life. I accept it now, although it really hurt at the time.

Thank you for sharing—honestly it’s really validating to read everyone’s experiences. I feel like this is something so many of us go through but don’t talk about enough, especially as moms.

For me it’s been a mix of hurt and clarity… realizing not everyone is meant to show up in the ways I hoped, but also learning what I truly need in friendships moving forward.

I really appreciate the honesty here 🤍

Wow. You have no idea how seen you are. I’ve been here. 3 kids in.

Someone once told me some people are “good time friends” those are the ones you can expect there solely for those times. Call them for parties, concerts and dinner. Then there’s your bad time friends. They’re there when you’re at your lowest and need most.

I’ve always prided myself in being a bad time friend but am noticing this type of person is rare.

I think gaining that perspective helps to take things less personally knowing you would have been there. True empathy and support are hard to find. If you find it thank your lucky stars, if not at least you’re not burdened with subpar friendships sucking up your bandwidth.

I have a best friend who rarely responds to texts (I’ve tried giving some latitude because she has 4 kids) and I’m always the one who picks up the phone when she calls and needs advice. We do get together for coffee every few months and try to get our kids together but mine aren’t in school and hers are. We’ve been friends since we were 9 years old and we have a lot of history, but it still hurts feeling like sometimes it’s a one sided friendship. I honestly don’t have many friends that ever ask how I’m doing, but I’m always the first to ask how they are doing. I’ve thought about reevaluating too, but it’s hard the older you get. I’m hoping to find more community when my kids start school and hopefully make some friends with other parents at a similar phase in life.