Struggling to go out with baby

Hi! Ftm to a 3.5 month old and tbh haven’t really gone out of the house with baby except with my husband. I get really bad anxiety and the thought of going out alone with baby is so hard to handle.

I’m also embarrassed that I don’t even know how to use our stroller/car seat. I’ve tried practicing putting baby in and out of car seat and into car but I’m scared if I don’t know what to do if I can’t handle it by myself when I go out. Also haven’t met any mom friends.

And also wake windows? Naps? How do I deal with all this when going out? I just feel so lost and alone in this. Any advice or comments to know I’m not alone.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

This feeling is normal

Listen, I went out with my husband plenty of times up until maybe the 7 or 8 month because I just wanted to make sure I had backup.

So take your time with that and it gets easier as they get a little older and their wake windows are better but most times when they are having the shorter wake windows kind of doable too because you know you can have them take their nap because they have spurts and stuff especially so young coming out the newborn trenches I would say make the use of the Wake window or the sleep window and just take your time with it.

Do you have family you can’t meet up with? Today I do an outing for the first time, I do the car and journey, getting baby out the car and set up all alone but met my family at the cafe so I did about 20 mins solo parenting but felt at ease knowing my family would be around at the end of it for a meet up to help with being out and about, then at the end of our coffee I did the solo parenting 20 mins trip again and I feel a lot lighter about taking baby out again

I’ve been there and I developed anxiety during my postpartum period but what helped me overcome it was taking the stroller on nature walks. Not around people. I put my headphones on and put the baby in the stroller (and yes I had to learn how to set it up) played music and walked around trees and grass and forced myself to enjoy it and get out of my head. The baby needs to be out in nature too

Hi I went through the same feelings of anxiety. You just have to bite the bullet and go out. When you go out with your husband start by you being the one putting the baby in car seat and then into the car. Once you have that exposure and you know your baby routine take em out during their wake window after they eat. My biggest fear was people staring at me if my baby cried. People did and stopped me to tell me how they miss the days when their baby was young or to tell me how cute my kid is. I feel like at the end of the day trust your instincts, go to mommy and baby massage class to meet other moms or the library for mother goose rhymes. Good luck

Totally valid to feel this way! The only way to feel comfortable is through experience which you gain by doing it.

Start small! First get acquainted with the car seat/stroller. Maybe watch some YouTube videos. Practice at home. Do this over several days if you want…take your time! Second, pick a super small outing that you have an easy out/can get home fairly quickly if you forget something or if you and baby just need to reset. For me, this low hanging fruit/easy outing was a Starbucks drive through. Didn’t even get out of the car lol but I was able to get out of the house, practice getting baby in and out of the car, practice packing the diaper bag/bottles, and get comfortable driving with baby in the car. This all helped me build confidence in taking baby anywhere. Now, I confidently take her everywhere and pump while on the go/out. In the beginning I was super anxious about doing it alone but those quick matcha runs were the perfect practice. Also, load baby in the carseat inside!

It's completely normal!! Like said above, when your husband's home, have a go with the car seat and push chair, he can advise/help and keep an eye on baby. When you're a bit more confident, I recommend looking at baby classes you might be interested in near you. This will help you get out the house, and help you and baby interact with others. I tend to feed my lo and change her before we go out. If she's tired, she'll fall asleep on her own on the way there or back to the class/shops. Take a spare feed or two if you're bottle feeding. I find sign language with my baby helpful and has helped to settle her a bit as she can communicate a bit, and swimming each week too. Where did roughly are you based? Happy to meet if you near to or in Telford

in our community

Nappy changes at nighttime

My boy is 8 weeks old. Does everyone change when they wake for feeds? He has a bottle around 9pm and a nappy change. then wakes up 2/3 times during the night. He usually takes a bottle then falls back to sleep quickly. If he hasn't done a poo am I doing the right thing by leaving till morning? Please help a struggling mum out 😢👏🏼

Putting themselves to sleep

Ok I know this might seem daft but has anybody else's baby started going to sleep themselves

I put Freya down to make her a bottle today and I came back and she was fast asleep

Apparently according to her dad she does this during the night

AND she slept 9:30pm until 5:50am today all the way through I'm grateful but just wondering if it's normal

Clinginess

I have a 9 week old and when he was first born the minute I put him down he’d cry it got to point where I was barely getting an hour sleep every night cause he wouldn’t even settle on my partner, he’s now 9 weeks and exactly the same once my partner went back to work it left me with the only option of co sleeping with him otherwise it’d be more dangerous me being so tired around him I feel as tho it’s only made it worst he can’t stand being put down it leaves me in a situation where I can’t do anything for myself cause he’s in my arms constantly I try with morning feed like once he’s don’t feeding I wait 20 mins then they transfer him I’ve tried every method swaddling, feet them bum then head then hand gently on chest we do car rides but he wakes up as soon as car stops pram walks he’s familiar with feeling of the stones under pram on our drive so wakes up I’ve tried carrier but once put down wakes up again, I love him to pieces but it gets overwhelming especially with the dog as the dog follows me around and wants attention to not to mention the house is a mess and my partner tried his best but he work long hours it’s driving me insane especially the crying it’s not like a slight cry it’s like cry until can’t catch breath kind of cry until I pick him up again

Annoyed

I am so sick of my family telling me “there’s something wrong with your baby” all the time. She’s my second born my first is a boy he was a calm baby. She cries a lot. It’s just really getting to me now. I tell them it’s because she’s tired or overstimulated and they are like “why is she overstimulated?” Like hello she’s a baby!!!!!!

Baby mostly sleeps during the day

Is that normal for my 5weeks old to sleep most of the day? He basically stays up maybe for 30’ then he wants to sleep again. He fusses and wants to feed to sleep. We do very little , no tummy time.
What’s your baby doing?

Breastfeeding guilt

I struggled to produce enough for my first baby and he had to go onto be fully formula fed at 10 weeks. I now have a 3 week old and we're having the same issues, my supply is slightly more than with this one, but not enough as she has still lost too much weight and is now supplemented with formula. I'd really hoped to get it right this time and be able to breastfeed throughout, I'd done a ton of research on what foods to eat/avoid, how to keep hydrated etc. I just feel guilty that I can't... Pumping is discouraging too because I get so little out. I know my son is thriving despite being formula fed, but the guilt that I can't do it with this baby either keeps making me feel like I've failed her already. I knew this was a possibility, so why do I feel this way? 😭😭😭