Unsupportive partner rant
Im 5 weeks PP and my partner is useless, he has to be asked to do anything, takes no initiative to help me and hasn’t from the start, if the baby is crying he just stares at it, I tell him I’m tired and he just says oh sorry and goes to bed at the same early time as me which pisses me off because he sleeps all night (even through the cries), he never used to go to bed as early as what I’m going to bed now and it’s not like he’s tired from taking over anything overnight?!! I’m EBF but theres things that can be done to help like settling baby after feeds and getting me a drink but even if he wakes up for a wee in the night he doesn’t even ask if we’re both ok?!! I’ve brought it up countless times and even said I might move back to my mums for additional support, but he always says I dont ask him. How hard is it to use initiative he’s been watching me care for the baby for 6 weeks??!!!! I don’t want to ask I just want him to offer now and again so I don’t feel like a nag but can get a break.
I’m feeling completely alone, unattracted to my partner and like I want to just leave him and do this alive because I am anyway.
Side note: during partners maternity leave he lay in most days til 11am even if me and baby had been up since 8am and spent majority of the time whilst I was BF playing Xbox or going to the gym but I wasn’t in a good mental place to appreciate how ridiculously childish and unhelpful that was due to some BF struggled I had..
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I’m so glad you’ve realised how unacceptable this lack of support is and have raised it with him. The fact he’s still not made changes however despite you making explicit that types of ways he could support you speaks volumes.
No first time parent instinctively knows how to care for and soothe a baby and it should absolutely be a case of learning together and properly supporting each other. Though nobody is perfect I would be absolutely furious in your position, particularly him lazing around gaming while he was on paternity leave.
If you can and feel would be beneficial, move back to your Mum’s temporarily so that you’re actually supported.
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