Not enjoying the baby stage - am I bad mum?

I feel awful admitting it, but I am really not enjoying the baby stage. It's so much work on so little sleep. I miss my freedom, when my life didn't revolve around nap schedules and nappy changes, when I could go somewhere without a boot full of stuff and a rigorous plan. They need so much, and it's 24/7. I never have any time for myself because by the time he goes to bed I'm so exhausted I just want to sleep. We've recently got to the whinging phase, so he's whinging constantly. I see other mums saying they really enjoy it, and I just don't know how. I miss my old life, I was a housewife so I had a pretty good deal, I got total freedom with my days, and all I had to do was clean the house and cook, so it wasn't even that much work. I miss having a clean house. I went to the gym, I could go out for drinks or go shopping without planning it in advance. Someone always needs something from me, and I just don't have anything left to give. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby more than anything, I don't regret having him, and there are parts I do enjoy, but as a whole, it's just very difficult and tiring, and i cannot wait for it to be over.

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You’ve just written how exactly I felt first time round with my daughter. I didn’t bond with her at all, and I was utterly miserable. I met her needs and that was about it. She was born in October 2019 and it took until around April/May until I started enjoying it (even in lockdown) I tried group therapy for other mums in the same situation and it didn’t work for me. I did end up going on antidepressants and it seemed to do me the world of good, but I know it’s not for everyone. I would maybe speak to your doctor about your feelings and they might be able to help. I’ve got another little one now born in October 2025 and I didn’t have the same sadness but it still took a month or 2 to bond and I love being a mum now to both my children and wouldn’t change it for the world x

I also felt exactly the same with my first. It was only around the 6-9 month mark I felt bits of my life coming back. Getting out will become easier and it’ll all just become a new normal. It’s one of the biggest instant life changes so it’ll naturally take time for some of us. But I promise it’ll get better and you’ll find time to prioritise yourself at times. Although I’m now back to ground zero with no.2 🙃. Need to read my own advice 😂

You're not a bad mum. The baby stage is as torturous as it is wonderful. But if you don't feel the wonder that's ok.
When I went to work after he went to nursery I felt a lot of relief. I still describe it as the hardest but best thing I did.
Your love is unquestioned, but this stuff is not easy and we don't talk about it enough! X

I hate the baby stage. I have had two. 26year old and 7 months. It gets better with time. Don’t feel guilty, there is plenty to hate. You can be ill, you can’t eat or have a 💩 without worrying about baby. It’s relentless.

You can DM and we can rant together. There no shame in your game

in our community

Is this a man thing or is it just my husband!!?

My husband does this thing where he will s*** all over something, then after he's tried it he'll think it's the best thing since sliced bread!!!

For example, I bought some teething powder for the baby and he went off on one about how all over the counter medication is 'woo' and ineffective, not proper medication and it's not likely to do anything. Now he's absolutely obsessed with it and gives it even when I don't think she even needs it!!!

It kind of drives me insane because I feel like I get such negativity and resistance for trying anything new!! Is this just a man thing?!

Basic hygiene

Im currently 22 weeks pregnant with my little boy and my partner has a 7 year old non verbal autistic boy who he shares 50/50 with. I can appreciate he is still in nappies with him being SEN. However im having trouble wrapping my head round the hygene issue. He does not brush his teeth, wash his hands, shower or bathe here (his mam bathes him at hers). But he also shoves his hands down his nappy then touches furniture, wiping his nose on things etc. My main concern is my baby having zero immune system. I believe both his mam and dad could be doing more with this. As at the moment I dont want him near my baby until this is under control. Am I unreasonable?

Neck baby

My baby has had this rash/stork bite since she was born. She’s now 5 months old, how long until this goes?
Thank you

Pouch food at 14 months

I am currently giving my 14 month old 2 x organic pouches per day.

He will eat weetbix and yoghurt for breakfast.

Lunch is a savoury pouch then sliced avocado and fruit.

Dinner is a savoury pouch, pita bread and hummus or equivalent and then a yoghurt.

Am I bad mum for using pouches at this age? About 3 months ago he started gagging on food so I switched to pouches and he seemed way happier. I try occasionally to give him a bite of what I'm having but he just throws it on the floor. He has 16 teeth so not sure if it's the constant teething making his mouth sore which is why he prefers the ease of a pouch.

How do I leave?

I have no family and no money. I am unhappy in my marriage. My second born is 3 weeks old and I have struggled a lot. I don't feel supported I just get huffs and puffs and when I say anything I get told to not talk to him like that. Yes I've snapped. He says I do what I want. I don't. He takes over and doesn't listen to me when I suggest things that need doing. I'm not listened to. I'm silenced. I've had enough and want to leave. But how.. Where do I start. Two kids, no where to go

Am I feeding my baby too much?

For reference, he is 7 months old. An example meal of his is this morning for breakfast, he had 1 Weetabix and a whole small banana. He only left 1 or 2 mouthfuls. Is this okay? Or is this too much for his age?
I was sort of going by if he wants it, let him have it, but is that right? He's not being sick or crying of tummy pains or anything?